A few days ago, I boarded the Metro (Subway System of New Delhi, India) at Rajiv Chowk. If you are a Delhiite, you must be familiar at the ‘this-is-Sparta-esque’ rush at Rajiv Chowk. I barely had enough floor to place both my feet in the metro.

In front of me, stood this old lady. She must have easily been seventy. Poor thing. It was a mystery how she planned to not get crushed under the sea of people that permeated every possible inch of space inside the train.

There was also a group of 4 boys who were standing very close to us. Well dressed, typical south Delhi brats. They were talking loudly among themselves (in fake accent). Spoiled rascals.

Suddenly, one of them turned towards the old lady and said in a cranky voice, “Amma, zara tameez se khadi ho, idhar jagah nahi ho rahi hai”

(Granny, stand properly. I ain’t getting enough space to stand because of you).

The poor lady looked around helplessly. If she had even an inch of space to move, she would have done it. But there wasn’t any. She must have been so uncomfortable. But these brats didn’t seem to understand that. Entitled assholes.

After a couple of minutes, the same boy again reared his ugly head, “Amma, sunta nahi kya? Behri ho?”

(Granny, are you deaf?)

Hearing this, a few other passengers got angry, and chided the boy. He became silent for a while. But it was clear, that he was not going to take this insult lightly.

Sure enough, he soon attacked with a different approach.

He started talking loudly to his friends, passing comments like, “Pata nahi kaha se aa jaate hain ganwar buddhe. Marne ko khade hai, or chale hain metro me travel karne. Senior citizens ko to Metro se ban kar dena chahiye. Kahi bheed me kuchal ke mar gaye to aafat aa jayegi.”

(Stupid old windbags. God knows why they are allowed inside Metro. They are almost on their deathbed. Senior citizens should be banned from Metro. In case of a stampede, they will be the first ones to die).

He directed all these comments towards his friends, but it was clear that he meant the old lady to hear all this. With each comment, his friends would guffaw, and loudly agree with him. Poor old lady couldn’t look up due to embarrassment. Other people standing around us also felt bad, but they couldn’t do anything.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I took out my phone and pretended to dial a number. I pretended that the call was getting connected, and once the other side picked up, I began talking loudly on the phone, at the top of my voice -

“Hello, am I talking to Rajiv Chowk Control Room? Sir, me Hauz Khas ki 12:15 wali metro me hun. Sir, hamari metro me chaar kutte ghus gaye hain. ” (Hello, am I talking to Rajiv Chowk Control Room? Sir, I’m travelling by the 12:15 metro towards Hauz Khas station. Sir, 4 dogs have somehow entered our metro.)

<pause>

“Nahi sir, kisi passenger ke saath nahi hain, gali ke aawara kutte lag rahe hain.” (No sir, they don’t belong to any passenger. It seems that they are stray dogs.)

<pause>

“Sir, mujhe kya pata kahan se ghuse. Lekin badi problem kar rakhi hai inhone.” (Sir, I have no idea how they got in, but now they are causing a huge commotion.)

<pause>

“Haan sir, badi zor zor se bhaunk rahe hain, saare passengers ko bohot pareshaani ho rahi hai. ” (Yes sir, they are barking very loudly, disturbing all the passengers.)

<pause>

“Nahi sir ek saath nahi. Pehle ek ne bhaunkna shuru kiya. Fir baaki teeno uski aawaaz me aawaz milane lage. Aapko to pata hi hai kutto ki aadat.” (No sir, they didn’t start barking together. First, one of them started barking, then the rest of the dogs joined him. You know how dogs like to match pitch.)

<pause>

“Haan sir, aap agle station pe please kisi ko bhej kar in kutto ko metro se utarwa dijiye” (Yes sir, please make sure to send someone to get these dogs off at next station.)

<pause>

“Ok! Thank you, sir.”

Almost half the compartment heard my fictitious phone conversation. And they were all laughing, looking at me appreciatively.

As for the rowdy privileged assholes, the look on their faces was priceless.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I helped an old lady.

#Metro_Adventures

Edit:

In case we’re meeting for the first time,

Hi! I’m Quora User, ‘the storyteller’.

Thanks for reading my answer.