We were going to a marriage counselor ( ironically at her insistence) and on the way I asked her what it was she hope we would get solved,

Her reply was ‘We are going so the counselor can tell you how wrong you are. He will tell you that what you think is wrong’

I’m like ….’huh?’

I know she never believed I would open up. Like ( as I now realize) most victims I was a quiet person. Not comfortable with confrontation so I would let things go.

But, I thought we are here to solve problems and that can’t happen if everything isn’t on the table. So I opened up and laid out how I felt and where I thought things were wrong.

She spent that time ‘playing the poor little me’ and saying nothing.

The counselor acknowledging something I said, turned and asked her how she thought I felt when she would say what she did.

Her reply: “ How would I know? No one knows how someone else thinks. Empathy is stupid. It doesn’t exist. No one knows how someone else feels. I have no idea how Wayne feels. “

I could see it in the eyes of the counselor that he knew there was bigger problems than he was equipped to deal with.

It was her line that I used to research what was going on with her. Google ‘lack of empathy’ and NPD came up. It was not until I found out about a covert narcissist that I realized she could be the poster girl