This is ridiculous, not at all profound.

But amusing.

In my little town of Crozet, Virginia, there is a “supermarket,” which is really a sort of over-grown grocery store.

The floors of concrete, alas, are not truly level everywhere throughout the store.

Thus an unattended shopping cart might begin to roll on its own, following the contours of the floor which are not visible to the naked eye, concealed, as they are, under a thin layer of tile.

As a regular denizen of this fine establishment, I began to learn the spots where carts might seem to move under their own will.

And so, when I spied an unsuspecting customer in my aisle, I would place the cart where I knew it would soon move along under the influence of gravity.

So there was I, carefully examining the properties of toilet paper, whilst a nice lady was contemplating the benefits of Tide detergent, perhaps 30 feet down the aisle.

I let go of the cart, which began a somewhat malevolent approach to the Tide Lady, moving left and right, and gaining speed, as if vectoring on her scent!

She of the Tide would of course turn to observe the approaching vehicle with its cargo of cheap wine, sausages, kitty litter and chain saw oil, headed her way.

At which point I would turn and shout in my best command voice, “No, Sheba, stay! Stay! Sheba, obey! Stay!” All the while gesturing with pointed finger.

And the cart would hit a little bump and come to a stop, nudging the shelf with the fabric softeners.

Or sometimes, I would position the cart at a known decline, then walk away from it, such that it would home in, on me. And then I would command, “No! Back Sheba, back! Be still, Sheba!”

All of this to the amusement of customers of that store, and the management.

I am so easily entertained.