Half way through eighth grade my family moved from Texas to upstate NY. My grandparents still lived in Texas and one day when I was in tenth grade a “care package” arrived from my maternal grand father to my father. It wasn’t very large, but it held quite a few chili pepins that Grandad O’ had picked on a visit to his hometown of Gonzales.

For those not familiar with chili pepins, they are about the size of the tip of your little finger and have about as much heat as three jalepeños. One or two in a batch of salsa will definitely give it some heat.

I asked Dad if I could take a few of them to school for show and tell in my Spanish class. He agreed and sent me off with seven or eight of them in a small box that had held paperclips.

During show and tell the school bully said, “They can’t be that hot. I bet I could eat one with no problem.” I advised him not to try it, but he insisted. He took one from the box and swallowed it whole, so he barely tasted any of the heat.

You’re probably wondering, “so, where is the revenge?”

Three periods later we had Phys Ed as the last class of the day. Since it was winter north of Syracuse we were inside in the gym. That day we were playing volleyball. The bully went up for a spike and came down doubled over. The chili was apparently reacting to the acid in his stomach. I took three of my classmates and a coach to carry him to the Nurse’s Office.