So my then college bf and I were having a late-night conversation about spiritual thingies. I was rehashing some of my favorite stories about my experiences with UFO’s and ghosts and out-of-body encounters and other “cosmic” things that had happened to me throughout my life, and John (his real name) was listening bemusedly. I finally told him, “You don’t believe me.” Not a question.

He said, “It’s not that I don’t believe you, I just don’t believe those things really happened.”

“So then I’m lying.”

“Noooo….(hesitation)…I don’t think you’re lying, I just…I can’t believe some of the stuff you tell me because nothing like that has ever happened to me.”

I told him that these kinds of things could happen to him, if he was open to them, and not so close-minded. So then he got arrogant. He threw his arms wide to the heavens and looked upwards and declared, “Ok, Universe, I want a sign, and I want it to be a BIG one, something I can’t question!”

I warned, “Oh John, be careful what you wish for cuz you’ll get it! Be careful! Don’t mess with this stuff!”

He was still cocky. “I don’t care. I wanna see something, and I want it to be BIG!!!”

I just sighed and shook my head. “Ok John. I’m sure the Universe is listening, but I’m not sure you’re gonna wanna hear the answer. But whatever, more power to you! It might take months, years, and it’ll probably come when you least expect it, and scare the hell out of you, but if that’s what you want, you’ll get it!”

He was insistent that that was what he wanted, so I didn’t argue any further. It was late, so I went to bed on my futon in my walk-in closet, while John stayed up studying, sprawled out on my couch in the small space that was my living-room, in the tiny clap-board shack that I called home.

A couple hours later or so I awoke, needing to pee. I got up and shambled into the living room. John was still up, still on the couch, but he was sitting bolt upright, stiff as a board, wide-eyed with terror.

I asked, “John, are you ok?”

He said, “Something just happened…” His voice was shaking.

I asked, “What? What happened??” He was beside himself with fear, I knew it had to be something earth-shattering. “WHAT IS IT???”

“Well…” he began, “some time after you went to bed, Pepsi came in through the window.” Pepsi (his real name) was my neighbor’s cat, who I had befriended, not having any cats of my own at that time. Pepsi was a frequent visitor to my home, and since John was too, they knew each other well.

John continued. “So he got up on the couch and lay by my feet. I was studying and he was sleeping, and all of a sudden, he got up and kind of hunched over, and started making this horrible noise!”

John mimicked the sound: “Heeeeyurk…..heeeeyurk…..HEEEYURKKK!!!”

John’s eyes were huge as he was telling his story, but I was already starting to smirk.

“And then….I’m not kidding….I swear I’m not lying….this….this…this LOG came out of his mouth!!! Right on to the blanket!!!”

John’s panic was real, but I was losing it in a fit of giggles. Despite my obvious amusement, John poured out the rest. “It was like the EXORCIST!!! Sweetie…” he said most earnestly, “I think the Universe is trying to tell me something! and…and…and WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING???”

I was doubled over in a hysterical fit, tears squirting out of my eyes. I was laughing so hard, it was several moments before I could speak. When I finally did, it was in hitching gasps: “John….have you…have you…ever…heard…of a hairball??”

The terrified expression didn’t leave his face. He had no idea what I was talking about, having never had a cat as a pet before. I had to explain to him what a hairball was, through my bouts of spastic laughter. He was not amused. “It’s NOT FUNNY!” he exclaimed, but oh, oh it was.

Still giggling, I went back to bed with these parting words:

“The Universe works in mysterious ways, John.”

And it does. He got his sign. It was something completely natural for me, but to him, it was absolutely supernatural. Both the Universe and I had a good cosmic chuckle that night!

He and I later broke up. I suspected he was cheating on me, and it was a big ‘ol long drama. I got some sweet revenge during the break-up, but that’s another story. But I think the hairball story is the better revenge story, even though it’s more “universal comeuppance” rather than “personal revenge,” just because it was such an immediate life lesson, and gosh…it was damn funny. :p

Edit: I’m awful about checking back to questions I’ve answered, so just now seeing your comments “only” a few years later *sigh* Thanks for the responses!