I know they say 'a life well-lived is the best revenge' but I disagree. Imagine someone wrongs you. So you think, I'm going to be great and successful and that'll show them.

I really think that's petty. Whatever you do, you did because of them. You didn't get over them, they affected your life more than they ever did.

So they wronged you, it hurt and it sucked. If you are making major life decisions based on what they think/say, then they are still in your life and affecting you.

I think the absolute best revenge is completely forgetting the antagonist. Imagine coming across someone who deeply wronged you and they insincerely say, 'oh hey, sorry about blah'. In return, you say, 'what are you talking about? I don't really remember that, or you'.

Is that not so much more satisfying? Don't engage them, don't think about them. Just live your life how you'd like it to be and if they ever show up, arrogantly and egotistically thinking that they have affected your life in some way, just let them know that they're so unimportant that you haven't even remembered that they existed until that moment.

To me, that's the best revenge.

I'll provide a personal example, if you'd care to read on. The VERY short version is my 'friend' and ex started dating within a week of the breakup, with no word from either of them about it. It became very apparent that he had been trying to break us up from the moment he met her, 6 months earlier. I still loved her, breaking up was foolish and I accept my fault and responsibility. However I was very hurt by their actions and lack of… decorum, shall we say.

In any case, I decided that I had to 'win' the break up. Everyone who has been in that position immediately knows that's a very dumb idea. I always had to have more fun, be seen in public with the hottest and coolest girls, whether they liked or hated me. I always had to be on social media bragging about how cool life was and how amazing my friends were and more than anything else how cool and hot all the girls I spent time with were.

I took a long time to realize that I didn't want to do what I was doing. I didn't like on any level the 'cool and hot' girls I was hanging out with. And it needs to be said that I didn't have a relation with any of them, I just wanted to be seen with them. I was going out and doing stuff solely to be 'seen', not because I enjoyed it.

Eventually I realized that I was living my life to get back at them. Not because I wanted to do what I was doing, or because I was happy, but to 'win'. And that realization made me realize that I had wasted a lot of time, effort, money because of two people that didn't deserve any of those things. Why should I care what they thought or felt? Because clearly it was not mutual.

I stopped caring about them. What they were doing, what they thought and how I appeared to them. I stopped caring. And life became immensely better!

I ran into my 'friend' at a bar awhile later and he said something along the lines of, 'Mate! How are you? Sorry about everything, what have you been up to?' (First time speaking since many years).

I could've been gracious, and pretended everything was fine. I could've clocked him. I could've awkwardly danced around the issue. Instead, I said, 'Who are you? What are you talking about? I don't think we've met.'

And my friends, letting him know I don't give a single hoot about him was 100x more satisfying than anything else I could have done.

Post Script: I understand that, in a way, my decisions were still dictated by them. But by acknowledging that I could live without giving a hoot about them radically improved my life. Everything that happened affected me greatly - I still deal with the fallout out. But to be able to shrug it off now, means a lot to me.

Cheers for reading, if you stuck around!