I don’t know that this was “savage” but it was entertaining. I had gotten married very young and my husband at the time was a horrible liar and cheat. We were renting a house on the same block as my parents and one day he had come home from “work” early and shortly after the phone went on the fritz. This was before cell phones. I needed to make a call so I went up the street to my parents’ house. About 5 minutes after I got there, a female called and asked for me. She explained that she was my husband’s fiancée and wanted to talk with me about why I was making our “divorce” so difficult and refusing to let him see our daughter. It turns out that she had somehow managed to get my (our) home phone number, which is why hubby came home early and sabotaged the phone line. What he didn’t know, was that she had gotten my parents’ number as well. She and I had a nice long conversation about what was really going on and devised a little a plan.

I borrowed a screwdriver from my parents and went home, but before going in I let the air out of all his tires just to ensure that he couldn’t leave. At the time, hubby was a carpenter and he badly wanted to start his own company but needed a partner to help finance it. I went in the house and he asked what had taken so long. I explained that I had an amazing phone call from a contractor who had heard about hubby’s great skills and he wanted to meet and talk business. I went on about how cool it was that the guy just happened to call while I was there, and that I had invited him over. I told hubby the contractor would be there in about 30 minutes.

Hubby hurried up and took a shower and got himself all dolled up. I put the coffee on. “Knock Knock” on the door. He rushes to open it, and sees his “fiancée” standing there. The look on his face was priceless. I went over and called her by name and invited her in. He is still standing there, totally confused and speechless. I offered her a cup of coffee and about that time he realizes that she and I were in on this together.

He grabs his coat and walks out the door; she and I sat down with our coffee. He comes back in of course because his tires are flat. I invited him to join us, I said, “Hey why don’t you sit and visit. I figured if you had a fiancée, it would be good for her to meet your wife.” He was so pissed — he picks up the phone — Ha! — to call his buddy for a ride — but of course the phone didn’t work. He kept going in and out the back door — trying to fix the line he had pulled out outside.

The whole time she and I are sitting there laughing and talking about all the stories and lies he had told us. We took it to the extent of making jokes and laughing about him being utterly horrible in bed. That really pissed him off. Eventually he got a ride and got the hell out of there. Later, I let him know I would be divorcing him for real. He tried to get me to reconsider. No way. He then tried to get the girlfriend to stay with him, but she said no as well. He ended up moving into a little trailer with his buddy.