I will answer this question from a different perspective. The one that everyone hates. The cheater.

I am not proud of my actions. I will not blame my actions on anybody but myself. You can decide for yourself if the punishment fits the crime.

We married young. We had a daughter. We built a house. And all of the financial burdens fell on me.

The pressure was intense to say the least. I was responsible for all of it. The mortgage. Insurance on our cars. Car payments. Motorcycle payments. Tv. Phones. Lights. Food. Child care. Medical needs. Anything and everything you need in life for 3 people fell on my shoulders. That being said, I know there are plenty of people in this position in life. I'm not complaining and am grateful I could do it at the time but it ties into everything.

What happened was my husband at the time felt like a lesser man. Even though I never made him feel that way in his mind I did. The way he thought of himself was projected onto me as my feelings about him. And he treated me accordingly. Resentments by the truck load.

Eventually I lost respect for him. It wasn't because he wouldn't help me pay the bills. It was because he was staying drunk all the time instead of helping me out where he could. I still had to have a babysitter for our daughter. On my days off he would wake me up by popping a beer can open beside my head. I still needed him in other ways other than just financially. But it became a game of us against you out of your worst nightmares.

So, I cheated. I didn't have another relationship. It was sex. One time with a stranger. Had I known what was to come I would have never crossed that line.

I hated myself for it. I started having panic attacks. I couldn't look at our daughter without crying. I carried the guilt of 1,000 men on my shoulders. I was ashamed of myself. It went against everything I believe to be true. I had never even thought about cheating before on any of my boyfriend's. Never in a million years did I think I would end up here in life.

I got sick. I was working non-stop trying to make ends meet. While trying to hide the intense self loathing I had for myself. So my body said no more. I got pneumonia. I went to the Dr as we do and he prescribed me medication as they do. Tussinex. Cough medicine. Liquid hell in a little bottle.

I took my medications as prescribed. I took that cough medication when I needed it. The heavens opened up and sun shone on my face. Angels sang just for me. The guilt I was feeling went away. The pressure of everything on me I didn't feel. It was amazing. And the beginning of the end.

Surprise. I developed a drug habit to hydrocodone. Addiction. I was a drug addict. Let me say this. The pressure on me before was nothing compared to the pressure on me now. The guilt and self loathing I had before was a walk in the park compared to what I felt about myself now. Hatred is an understatement.

I used to sit in the parking lot of stores and watch people walk in. And I would wish that I was them. If they looked even remotely like they had their shit together I would pray to change positions with them. I knew nothing about these people. Most of them probably had it alot worse in life than I did. But I was young and dumb then too.

I began to fall behind on things financially. The mortgage payment fell behind. It had become obvious to alot of people that something was wrong with me. And I felt like my husband and little girl were better off without me.

So I walked out on them. I left with the clothes on my back and nothing more. I believed in my heart that I didn't deserve them. And maybe I didn't.

We divorced and he got full custody of our daughter. The house. Everything. I said very little during the process. I took all of the shame and blame with me when we divorced. It fueled alot of fires for years to come.

Our story doesn't end here by a long shot. I wish it did in ways but I wouldn't have my son if that were true. But what was to come in my life made everything else pale in comparison. I only had minor problems up to this point in life. What seemed like unsurmountable mountains at the time were mole hills compared to what was to come.

I will end my story here. I hope I don't come across as a poor, pitiful me. That is not my intention at all. I hurt my ex and our daughter in ways that I can't bare to admit on most days. And I was and am sincerely sorry for my actions.

The savage revenge was on myself. With the support of people everywhere. Everybody hates a cheater don't they? And people most certainly hate drug addicts. My ex got his revenge alright.