Down in the Pike Place Market area of Seattle, there are several nice coffee shops. One Saturday afternoon in the smoking era, my buddy and I went into nice espresso shop up on the second level. This was a smaller shop so there was no designated non-smoking area - the dumb bastards could light-up wherever they pleased.

It was about 2:00 PM so the place was all but empty. My friend and I chose a small table in the center and ordered our coffees. Earlier in the day, I ate something that was beginning to build a huge volume of nasty fart-gas, and my guts were churning.

About half way through our espressos, a couple came in and took the table right next to ours. Then they both lit up. The swine.

We hoped the air circulation might work in our favor, but no, the effluvium encroached on, then engulfed, our little table. We decided to go elsewhere.

As I stood to don my coat, I felt a great movement in my bowels - the great, humongous fart that had been brewing all day was ready to go. Revenge shall be mine. With that, I thrust my posterior over the smokers’ table and let `er rip. The fart gas was red-hot so I knew the smell would be awful. The titan blast echoed through the espresso shop and, I believe, rattled our cups and saucers.

My buddy and I took off leaving the smokers to enjoy a foul smell. Payback’s a bitch.