My friend, Bob, lived in a neighborhood where my wife and I had made an offer on a house. We had a closing date and I talked with Bob about the negotiations and closing and he was pleased to have us as neighbors. Unbeknownst to me, Bob (a licensed landscape architect) decided to decorate our new yard. So he dragged a church pew from where the previous owners had abandoned it in the backyard and brought it to the front and decorated it with bent-up plastic flowers from a dumpster and a bunch of beer cans. He also made a large poster with caricatures of my wife and I. It was intended to be, and was, godawful. My wife and I were to find it after closing.

Closing was delayed almost a week in which it rained, making the welcoming display far worse.

A few weeks after we moved in Bob made me an offer for the church pew. I apologized and told him I gave it away. Later I called a different friend and asked her if she wanted to sell the church pew i had given her. She said yes and I told her what Bob offered me and she could keep it all if she would help me out. When I told her the circumstances she eagerly agreed.

Then I called Bob and told him Rosalie was willing to sell it for what he had offered me. Bob was delighted! I gave him Rosalie’s phone number and he left for lunch and called her from his home. Rosalie has a great female phone voice, a rich, expressive contralto and a joyful laugh. Rosalie happily gave him the address of the local police station. Bob did not return to work.

Next day Bob comes in and is laughing, nearly hysterical. Said it took numerous calls to Rosalie in his search for the address to finally realize he was being played.

It was a small town in rural Mississippi. Word got around. Bob would walk by people in the grocery store whom he didn’t know and would hear, “church pew”, followed by laughter.

Almost a year went by and a third friend of ours, who had ribbed Bob mercilessly, closed on a house in our neighborhood. One evening after a couple beers we decided her new home would greatly benefit from a church pew. So we went to Rosalie and asked her to sell it to us and told her why we wanted it. She agreed but made a profit off us. So we loaded into my pickup about midnight and sneaked it into our friends yard.

Next day, nothing. A week went by. Nothing. Bob and I couldn’t stand it so we went by her flower shop to get an explanation. She listened to us and burst out laughing! Could not speak! Had to sit down!

Bob and I had delivered the church pew to the WRONG HOUSE!