When I was younger I needed a place to live and a friend (Rob) and his wife offered me their ‘basement apartment’ which turned out to be a cot on a bare concrete floor and framed walls with no drywall, right next to the laundry machines.

I didn’t really need much so I said fine and took the ‘apartment’ for $200 a month rent.

I lived there a few months, not spending much time there but basically storing my stuff in the ‘room’ downstairs. Clothes, a TV, a DVD player and some movies, and a couple longboxes of comics that I’d collected since I was a kid and a big wood box of hockey cards - second year Gretzky, Messier rookie, Kurri rookie, Lemeiux rookie, etc…

One weekend in the middle of summer I was heading off to the city and asked if they wanted the rent ahead of time or not, because the 1st fell on the Saturday. They said after the weekend was fine, so I headed out.

Got back Sunday night and found my clothes outside and the lock changed. I pounded on the door and Rob opened it a crack with the chain on, told me they kicked me out because I didn’t pay rent and were keeping the TV and comics/cards to pay for it.

I was young and stupid and didn’t realize NONE of that was legal. I went and crashed at my friend’s house for the night and found a new place the next morning. Swung by that afternoon, paid them, and asked for my stuff back.

Sorry, I was told, but it was sold to pay the rent I owed them…even though any one of those cards would have paid it plus some.

So give me my money back… No, I owed them for damages.

I gave up, like I said I was young and dumb and didn’t know my rights. I said my ‘fuck you’s and drove off…right past Rob’s car he’d gotten a couple months earlier.

I went back that night with a paint scraper and four cans of anchovies. Used the scraper to bend the rubber seals on the doors back, and dumped a can of anchovies into each door. I saw him the next day - +30ish degrees Celsius - pulling stuff out of the car to try and find the smell. The day after, he was scrubbing down the seats and carpet. I dropped more anchovies in that night, after outwaiting his lazy ‘surveillance’ efforts.

By the weekend that car stunk just walking NEAR it. Every time I saw him driving it he had all his windows down. Every month or so I bombed it with fish again. I heard he tried to trade it at the local dealership and they wouldn’t give him anything for it. They moved to another province about a year later and I hope they still have that stinky-ass car.