I am a paediatrician and do come across very anxious and tense parents- with whom communication can completely go off rails with one single word uttered without giving a second thought. But one mother remains in my thoughts as a burning memory.

I was working under a neurologist Dr F in a tertiary referral hospital as a senior registrar and was assigned to do Epilepsy clinics independently. I was asked to see Miss P in my list. I went out of my clinic room to the waiting area and called out her name three times. No one turned up! I returned to my room disappointed when the nurse in charge rushed in and told me that ‘I had mispronounced the child's name and that's why mum wasn't coming in’. I asked her to point her out to me, went out, apologised for my error and politely invited them in. Mum Mrs P strode in behind me looking visibly cross, sat down and in a huff rather rudely point blank told me ‘we have come to see Dr F and not a junior foreign doctor’. Taken totally aback, yet keeping my cool, I asked her to provide me with history, so that I could relay the history to Dr F and come back with any different advice other than what I had to offer. She told me ‘ it's all there in the notes!!’ Normally we need to take details on seizure frequency, severity and changes besides side effects of medications.

I asked ‘Any thing new since the last time we reviewed Miss P?’

‘You should read the notes before you see a patient’ she said rather curtly. I conveyed to her that I knew that Miss P has epilepsy and has been put in my clinic in an urgent slot as she was complaining of intermittent severe tummy pain. I also described to her how I and Dr F held separate lists and empathised with her for her frustration.

I was relieved when some further history was given in bits and pieces, in a rather unsatisfactory manner, as mum clearly could not disguise her disappointment with me!

I apologised for mum’s disappointment and said that I shall go across and ask Dr F if he could see Miss P if possible.

I went and conveyed the story to him.

He silently came back with me to my clinic, popped his head in through the door and told to a profusely gushing Mrs P ‘ Dr W here is a very senior clinician and I totally trust his judgement. If he cannot help you, neither can I’ and turned around and unceremoniously walked away! I was truly astonished by Dr F’s response!

Mrs P turned around and there on docilely conveyed the rest of the history. I examined Miss P- and discovered she had mild jaundice. Knowing that medications she was on could produce gall stones, I organised an emergency ultrasound of tummy using my personal connections in the radiology department. I also called the paediatric surgeon on call and got Miss P to be reviewed same day- all within the next 30 minutes. I must say for not one minute did I show my exasperation- knowing how much poor little Miss P must be suffering.

As they left, Miss P thanked me profusely followed by her mother.

I received a ‘Thank you’ card from mum a week later- for my diagnosis and prompt action. Miss P had been operated upon 4 days earlier.