The nastiest thing I’ve ever done for revenge?

That would have to be when I was a senior in high school. My best friend and I got into a fight over Halloween. It was so fucking stupid I can’t even remember exactly what it was. I think she was mad because I was running late. Anyway, it was a dumb fight and that should have been the end of it.

But my she was really upset with me and began completely ignoring me, pretending like I didn’t exist. Which was a feat because we were next-door neighbors and went to the same school. It hurt so much because she was my best friend throughout high school, then she moved in next door and we spent so much time together.

But sadness quickly turned into anger and I began ignoring her, we went for a while not able to tell who was ignoring whom. Then she tried to apologize, she came by my house when I wasn’t there and talked to my mom, who said she was upset. But I just couldn’t let it go. We never talked again. Our mutual friends were weirded out by the situation so I gave them space, made new friends.

It was the nastiest thing I’ve ever done. It’s one thing to get revenge on someone who’s done something terrible and evil; but to throw out a friendship over something so petty, at a time when we both needed each other is something I’ll never be able to forgive myself for.

It’s been so many years, and with the way I avoid thinking about things that make me feel bad, I’ve forgotten so many details but I remember the sadness, and the anger. I remember so much more about her and our friendship than I do about the end.