A2A

The worst part? Getting tipped.

Yes, you read that right. Getting tipped.

But first, the best : sometimes you would deliver to parties, and they would invite you to the party. This often happens at student accommodation. Obviously, I couldn't stay long, as I was working. But it would be nice to be treated like that.

The best thing though, was also the simplest. I liked being paid to drive around. I was on the 50cc scooter, and I would weave in and out of traffic, take shortcuts, go down one way streets the wrong way, cut through pavements and gardens and all sorts. Traffic wasn't a problem for me as I learnt all the routes. It used to annoy other drivers, so I would take my mirrors off my bike so I could cut people up and then couldn't see them swearing at me afterwards. I loved the driving part. I learnt the city like the back of my hand in that job. It was such a good way to earn a living.

The worst : the weather, for one. Doing an eight-hour shift in the middle of winter in the pouring rain. Getting soaked on my first delivery then having to stay like that for the rest of the shift. I used to put my gloves on the pizza warmer, and run hot water on my hands, but I was still numb by the time I got to the house.

Summer was the opposite problem. Having to wear heavy Dominos waterproofs all year round, whatever the weather. I would sweat buckets. And all the drivers had to share the same waterproofs, and they would never get washed. They would really smell bad. Sometimes I would take them home and wash them myself.

I would occasionally be hassled on my deliveries. Drunk people would come up and hassle you whilst you were stopped at traffic lights in the town centre, and try and knock you off your bike or steal your pizzas. Sometimes it was hard to find the house numbers, and when you would drive slowly up the street peering at people’s houses, they would come out and swear or threaten you, I don’t know why.

I hated delivering to rough areas of town, when you would leave the bike on the side of the road with your gloves and helmet, and go up six flights of stairs at midnight in a grotty tower block with a broken lift, and you would wonder if your bike would still be there when you got back. You were carrying pizzas, money and scooter keys, all of which were tempting for a relatively stupid, hungry and unambitious mugger or thief. It never happened to me, but it happened to other drivers on my shifts. You were always on edge after dark.

Sometimes we delivered to people who were ‘shut-in’. People who never left their house, either because they wouldn’t or couldn’t. These people would often have a remotely-operated door, so when you rang on the bell you would then bring the pizza in and lay it out for them. They would be in a chair next to a table, and you would have to lay out their pizza, wedges, garlic bread etc within close reach. They often didn’t have great hygiene and their houses were so dark, dirty, depressing and very, very smelly. You would have to be polite and professional whilst wanting to throw up from the smell.

Some people would order from us every single day. I used to deliver to a boy of about ten years old who ordered the same thing every day. I never saw the boy’s parents. He would answer the door on his own, no sign of anyone else. His doorbell was greasy. I felt terrible; his diet was just pizzas. I assume his parent’s didn’t care about him, left him at home alone every night with pizza money because they couldn’t be bothered to cook for him or spend time with him. He lived in the same rough area I mentioned above. I don’t think children should be allowed to order pizza every day. There should be some kind of law against it.

I also used to get abuse when on deliveries, from people who complained that the pizzas were too expensive. I agree, Dominos prices are astronomical. But you can see the price on the menu, and are told the price when you order. Don’t kick off at the delivery driver. We get minimum wage, so we aren’t the ones making loads of money off of you. I never asked for or expected tips from anyone…

Which leads me onto my worst experience as a delivery driver. Now, I studied at university to postgraduate level, so am well educated. But I have had a number of so-called ‘unskilled’ or menial jobs. I have always worked my whole life and still work two jobs today, one of which is minimum wage, in order to get by. I do not see it as beneath me or anyone to deliver pizza, work behind a bar, help park cars or clean up vomit. I have done all those jobs, and don’t think less of anyone who does those things. But some people have that opinion. More fool them.

My worst experience as a delivery driver was being patronised by rich idiots. I would delivery ten pizzas (the total price well over £100) to the posh area of town where wealthy people were having parties. And, inevitably, after handing over the pizzas and receiving the exact money, the person taking the pizzas would say “And here’s your pound!” putting a £1 coin into my hand whilst talking to me like I was a little baby.

Honestly, mate. Keep your pound. I would genuinely rather get no tip at all than be patronised by you. I work for my wages, not my tips. The truth is, I often felt bad taking tips. The rich people would tip low or not at all, but the poorer areas would ALWAYS tip better. I don’t know why. Maybe the reason the rich stay rich is because they keep their money to themselves. Maybe the poor just have more sympathy with someone whose job it is to deliver pizzas at 11pm in winter in the pouring rain. But I felt patronised by the rich customers and I felt bad for the people who obviously couldn’t afford it.

So that is why receiving tips always kinda sucked. I would rather just be paid a little more, and that everyone who ordered felt no obligation to tip at all.

But overall, delivery driving was a brilliant job and I really enjoyed it. I have often thought about going back to it. Cruising around in the summer evening at 30mph on a scooter delivering slices of delicious happiness was so much fun.