That pain is horrible. The physical gut/heartwrenching ache that grips you and you cannot even breathe. I have been there. It has taken me nearly 10 months to get to a decent place about the breakup of my most significant relationship. The things that helped me were:

1. my friends and family stayed close and let me lean on them. They listened when I needed to talk and cry. I’m forever grateful for their support.
2. A good therapist helped me understand my part of the relationship dynamics and get my head around the dysfunction from a more clinical perspective. Just to be able to look at the dynamics and understand them logically helped a great deal. It did NOT take away the pain, but it helped me want to work on myself and bring awareness to my situation which was very empowering.
3. My therapist gave me assignments to help me become aware of what I really value in life (apart from a partner) and what brings me joy. And then she helped me to plan and create a life so full of those things that I am now starting to be grateful for the breakup because it caused me to create a new life for myself that is less relationship focused..
4. Time is your friend. Just keep waking up every day and know it will get easier and good things will come your way. You deserve happiness.
5. When you feel ready, get out and meet new people. Dating again for fun (rather than to find another serious relationship) will give you some new perspective.
6. Exercise. Get out in the sunshine and walk, run, bike, etc.
7. Dance and sing as often as you can. Sing along to the radio, dance in your living room or out at clubs—whatever works for you. Let music move often through your body any way you can. It can be really cathartic to do this, and after a painful breakup it’s surprising how good it can make you feel to express yourself with music—even if you don’t play an instrument.

One breath at a time. You will be ok. The pain you’re in now will eventually fade and you will discover a whole new life for yourself. Best wishes to you.

Whether the relationship lasted seven weeks or seven years, breakups are painful and heart breaking, feeling of world coming to an end makes us physically and mentally ill. While there is no CTRL+DEL button available in our hearts and brain to just clear the brain from memories of that person, a healthy coping mechanisms in place will definitely help you getting over your ex and moving on with grace and strength.

After a breakup there is a sense of abandonment, there is a sense of terror about the future, there is disappointment... there is a process of going from “we” back to “me”.

Break-up has stages and it's important to understand those stages before understanding how to cope up with break-up -

1. Trauma - This is the very first natural reaction of your body after a breakup. Thoughts will traumatise your body and mind. There will be various questions going on in your mind and you will desperately seek answers to them.
2. Non-Acceptance - This is the second step of your body to give time to your mind and heart to prepare for the new beginning. You are in a stage where your mind and heart is not ready to accept the breakup. You will work out to find why this relationship is coming to an end. You will possibly blame yourself for this break-up. All the flashbacks of your relations will haunt you.
3. Craziness - This stage makes one feel irrational and crazy. You will want your ex by your side. You will just wish he/she is right beside you and is saying that it is not over and it will work. You will start doing crazy things like stalking your ex on social media or just going on places where you can just see him/her.
4. Depression - All the craziness of third stage will make you feel depressed. You will want to just live alone and not talk to anybody. You will feel as if your life has shut down and nothing good can ever happen to you know. You will blame yourself for not giving the relationship one more try. You may even try to turn yourself to things which are not good for you.
5. Compromising - In this stage you will want to do every possible thing to reunite with your partner. Your mind and body are too exhausted to handle this breakup now.
6. Initial Acceptance - The broken heart starts to heal and scab over. “Everything is going to be OK,”. So you stand up tall and forge on, back to your wonderful. In this stage the haze on your eyes will disappear slightly and you will have a much clearer vision. You will try and accept the situation. You will feel better and you will realize your worth. You will have clear reasons why this relationship dint worked and what you need to do with your life.
7. Moving On - The grief is now over. All the anger and trauma is over. That doesn't means you will forget your ex but rather you know now it's over and life is to move on.

The transition between these phases may take days, months or even years. It depends on your will to overcome the grief.

A heart ache demands and requires the dignity of having felt the pain of it to be able to overcome it eventually. So do not look for a magical quick fix. Even if you do manage to find one, it will only be superficial and temporary. If you truly want to recover, give yourself the time and the chance to heal.

Moving on from a relationship can indeed be a very difficult phase to go through emotionally. You are in pain over loosing someone you still love. You take time to invest yourself in the relationship, build memories, make promises, see dreams together and then one day everything seems gone and your world is shattered.

Moving on does not necessarily mean that we cease to think of them or cease to love them, it only means that we have been able to come to terms with the end of that relationship.

So, continuing to love and miss an ex, to me is a normal thing to happen. But it’s when the memories and the love hinders you from functioning and moving on with your life is when there needs something to be done about it. Therapy/counselling is recommended if this becomes the case.

If your partner is not willing to get back with you at all at any cost, then unfortunately there is only so much that you can do and you will have to respect their decision and move on. It feels like it is the end of the world, but it’s not if you decide so for yourself.

Remember that although he/she might have meant the world to you, he/she was not the only part of your world. Invest in yourself just as you were investing in the relationship up until the break up. Bring back the focus to yourself. Most importantly, figure out what works for you. For some, spending some lone time to ponder over things and self works, for some spending time with friends and family works. Travel if you have to, run or box or hit the gym if you want to, paint, play an instrument or listen to music, write or read blogs, maintain a daily journal, take to movies, retail therapy, pamper yourself, go to the spa, it’s okay to reach out for comfort foods once in a while, take a break from work for a day or two, anything! But do all of this with the intent to help yourself eventually get better and not to keep living in the past.

Lastly, although you might be experiencing a void in your life, do not try to fill it just for the heck of it. No rebound relationships.

Hope this helps! Take care:)

These steps can help you..

1. Never ever run back to them or call them all the time. You can just never let go of that special guy/girl that taught you how to love. When you guys breakup, then it happens for a reason. Don't keep calling him/her and talking to them like nothing happened or try to make them love you again. It's not going to work out. It'll just make you seem weak and clingy.
   
2. Forgive and forget Let things go and remain cool. Don't let your ex see you miserable without them, it'll just give them the satisfaction and an ego boost.
3. It's okay to cry at night. For the first few weeks, it's going to be a long and lonely journey. So it's OK to cry. Cry your heart out for the matter of fact. You are going to stop crying in the end because you'll get sick of it and realize that it's a temporary phase. Listen to sad love songs. It'll make you feel better and you'll realize that you can relate to them even more after a breakup. Get it all out and then deal with it.
4. Remain positive Just because he/she broke up with you or doesn't want you back doesn't mean that you're "worthless". There are plenty of other people who want you and would be willing to treat you even better than your ex. Smile and laugh. Surrounded yourself with friends. and people who care. Not only will you feel better, your ex will notice how happy you are and maybe regret rejecting you.
5. Lift your head up high and move on. Don't let one relationship drag you down even though it was the best one you ever had. There will be plenty more and it's his/her loss. You are too good for them anyway. Tell yourself that. Tell yourself that you need someone who will treat you right. Just be strong and forget about your boyfriend.
6. Don't try to fling or have special relationships with your ex. It never ends up right when you just go back into that cycle. Yes, "that" cycle. Where you guys break up then make up then act all cute and happy but in the end, you'll just be heartbroken and cry. Yes ... that cycle. Relationships end for many reasons.
7. Consult a friend if you feel lame or played. When your ex plays around with your heart when he/she knows that you still want them, that's when you definitely know that he/she is not for you. It's OK to feel this way, completely normal. Don't hold your feelings in, talk to a friend and cry. Let them comfort you and let yourself vent your feelings. You'll definitely feel better.
8. Shop, exercise and socialize. It'll make you feel better to buy new outfits so you can look even more attractive. Not only will it boost your confidence,it will also boost your self-esteem Looking good will make you feel good. Exercise is also a good way to vent your frustration and pain. Socializing with others would keep you distracted from your ex, bolster your self-esteem, and help you get over your ex. When you are occupied with other people, you'll think, "Hey! Being single isn't bad. I get to make new friends and have more time to myself". Flirt and mingle!

First of all, it's very important to accept the fact that it is going to be terrible. Keeping yourself busy helps you for a while but it leaves you in state of ambivalence which can only be cured when you are at inner peace. So no matter how much you keep yourself busy, if you don't face your feelings, it's going to be as hard as it is of now even after days or months.

So in my opinion, just let it out for a while. Give yourself time to completely feel the pain and misery. It's okay to feel miserable. It's okay to cry for a while and detach yourself from the social world. But remember, just a while. Once you are done with crying so hard that even your eyes couldn't take it anymore, get going. In this phase, talk and let it out as much as you can but only among people who would actually try to listen and not just end up making fun of your misery. This is important because not everyone can understand your journey, and they don't even need to, it's not for them.

Take responsibility of everything that you went through. Understand that a failed relationship is result of endless unsuccessful efforts which you might regret being wasted, but it isn't. It made you realise that you made some mistakes too. It made you realise that you failed to understand the person and had to let her go. But at least you tried.

Be proud that you did your best to make things work out. You did whatever you could and that made you wiser.

Dont rush into anything that may not sound appropriate to you. Remember that healing is a slow process, Love is like a drug habit and breakup is abruptly stopping it. It requires patience. But once you are over it, nothing can stop you.

Never prioritize anyone above you. You aren't able to heal yourself because you have always prioritized her over you. Never let this happen to you again. There's least place for emotions in this cruel world. Be kind to everyone, but don't compromise on yourself.

Now move on. Read about how you can proceed with pilot dream. What are the steps to be taken? How much time it will take? Remember humans work best under deadline. So give urself a deadline, that by next month i will complete this. By next week I will be doing that. Give yourself deadline for your dream. Believe me, you will be surprised by results. For example, a student completes the entire syllabus a day before examination which he had never been able to cover in the whole semester. Deadline.

Whenever you would feel low read this:

Just because you cannot figure it out now, doesn't mean you never will. Someday you may even look back, and feel why you were ever worried.

Hope it helps you out!

Thanks for A2A :)

You be grateful he didn't waste anymore of your time, for one. Then you realize that you deserve better than that and stop concerning yourself with someone who clearly doesn't feel the same way about you that you do/did them. You then take the time you need to take care of you. You've invested 9 years of your life worrying about someone else, but now you have all the time in the world to worry about you. You say you invested your youth & 9 years with him, which sounds to me like there is some regret; you shouldn't regret anything in life, rather you should learn from, grow stronger from, and embrace your experiences.

Now is the time that you experience life and the things you've “missed” or where outsid otherwise unable to do before. Focus on work, getting your own place, spending time with and/or making new good friends. Go out experience life & have fun with it. Enjoy being a free (single) independent woman for the first time! Build your life around YOU!

We can't control everything that happens in our lives, but we have complete control over how we react to & what we do about those things. So, that's what you do now. YOU are in control of your life and what you do about this is totally on you. If you choose to grovel and be miserable about someone who doesn't care about or respect you, wasting more precious time in your life over it, then that's entirely on you and nobody's fault but yours. You can also choose just the opposite, get up, embrace your life and grow from this experience. Once you have your life in order and are happily successful, independent, secure, and stable, then maybe consider meeting someone new, getting to know them and building a positive relationship. Just don't worry about being involved with anyone else right now; that should come slowly and much later, after you've had the chance to experience life and build a positive life for yourself.

I know this all sounds easier said than done, but you can do it, and rightfully should do it. I'm just not a jealous or worrying about others who don't feel the same as I do type, so it's a bit easier for me I suppose. If I don't trust someone, like I think they might not be being faithful, or feel suspicious about their behaviors or whatever, I just won't be with them. If they leave me, like in your case, I just say “whatever” and move along, because I'm not going to concern myself anymore with someone who doesn't want to be with me, especially if they're doing it to be abusive, like they're trying to see if I'll try getting them to stay, because they want to know they can screw with my emotions… Just not my thing. You need to get to that point. No drama! Don't let this ass-hat play with your emotions. I mean, would you actively pursue your bully if you had one? No, because they don't like or care about you. Well, similarly, this guy doesn't want anything to do with you and doesn't respect you, so why should you care about them? It also seems he was building a relationship before he left you, since he's immediately with someone else & left you so suddenly, so why would you want to be with someone like that?

YOU DESERVE BETTER!!! LIVE YOUR LIFE & BE HAPPY!!! Being single now, the only one that can hurt you is you. You are your ONLY obstacle in your life now.

Best of luck to you. I sincerely hope you crush it in life! 😊😉✌

This is hard. Getting dumped sucks, but you need to realize that a lot of this is just your pride talking. The guy (or girl) will seem more attractive to you now, but it's all in your head. They aren't more attractive to anyone else, and they still have feelings for you most likely. This is not an indictment on your self-worth. Calm down.

As far as concrete steps:

1. Take inventory of why the relationship failed and make the relevant improvements so you can increase your dating market value. If there are no improvements you can make because you are already awesome and the breakup isn't your fault, join the club, but still embark on some self-improvement campaign anyway. This will mean that you can date an even better person next time because you will be improved in the eyes of the opposite sex.
2. Lose weight/workout. Everyone has a few pounds they can lose. I lost 10 after my breakup earlier this year and am still going. It gives you confidence and a sense of control.
3. Don't let anyone talk you into getting into a relationship right away. Now that you're single, all the people who have crushes on you are going to come out of the woodwork and try to hit it. Don't date anyone you know if your relationship with them means anything to you. Go on dates with strangers you don't care about. The most magical moments though are when you start to notice that one of your ex's friends is actually pretty cute. Have fun with that, but keep it to yourself.
4. Get a new friend group all to yourself and stay away from mutual friends. Your ex should have no idea what's going on with you, and you don't want their name coming up in conversation. Total buzzkill.
5. Delete them on Facebook and all other social media. Some dating gurus say not to do this because it shows that you care too much. I say effff that. They aren't in your life anymore and are probably lurking your profile, and it makes it far too tempting to send up smoke signals. Delete, delete, delete. Same goes for their friends that you don't really like.
6. Make changes to your environment. If your apartment makes you sad because you spent time there with them, move. If you work with them, find a new job. If the breakup was truly brutal, consider moving to a new city to start a new life.
7. Realize that you will still have feelings for them until you develop feelings for someone else, and come to terms with that. It may take a while. Don't mistake that for actual feelings for your ex.
8. Drill into your head that better things are around the corner. How many stories have you heard of people who were dumped and then found the love of their life shortly thereafter, just when they thought they would never love again? So many. Things work out.
9. The bad thing about being the dumper is that they have the terrible burden of second-guessing their decision for the rest of their life. They are the jerk in the story. And make no mistake, as soon as you move on to bigger and better things, they will regret what they did. Find solace in the fact that they have to live with their decision and watch in agony as you find something better.

It is very painful when a relationship come to an end, the pain is so intense particularly if you really loved the person. It is painful to accept the reality of some situation. It is painful to be single when you know for sure your heart is with someone else. Many opt to kill themselves but that is not the solution. I won’t kill myself over someone who doesn’t care about me in the first place. I will be so busy preparing for the next person, that person have just created a vacant for someone else to occupy in your life. I have realized the worst investment are the one we invest our emotions. Here are few steps that can help you to cope;

1. It is not the end of live, some times break up are just breaks for a better come back.
2. There is nothing wrong with yourself, just because a joker walked away from you doesn’t mean you are not important or worthy it might mean to them that you are too valuable, for the to afford. People always reject anything they can’t afford.
3. Whatever it is you’re facing right now somebody else faced something even worse and they come out strongly than they were before. I was in similar situation and I can remember listen to Kelly Clarkson song, “What doesn't kill you makes you stronger / Stand a little taller / Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone / What doesn't kill you makes a fighter.
4. They are people who come in your life for reasons and season. It is good to know when it is over, don’t waste a lot of your time giving CPR to moments that are dead.
5. Remember this scripture. 1 John 2:19, “They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us.”
6. I don’t want you to beg anyone to stay, don’t even breathe another breathe to that relationship, if you do the more desperate you’ll look and that affects who you really are as person. Know your value and the add tax. Your days are still ahead, if you can get someone who you trust to talk about it do it.
7. There are other people out there who are drooling right now over you, they admire who you are as person, be open minded, don’t say, “ I won’t love again or trust again all people are the same.” Don’t fall in trap, don’t form any compartmentalization.

I’m so sorry for whatever it is you have gone through.

I am wishing you all the best.

I'm sorry for your pain. It probably feels unique and special to you. It's not. It probably feels you may never get over this person. You will.

That's the thing about this life (especially the thing about being young): “You don't know what you don't know.” (a remarkably under-appreciated concept, no matter your age or topic). In this case, you lack the perspective that time and experience will likely bring. I have an idea for a shortcut, but first, some background context:

I used to be addicted to relationships. That meant from high school through to my mid 20’s I simply couldn't be alone.

A single night without that without my girl, who I thought of as “mine” would ignite a persistent and motivating fear of betrayal. I imagined my girl being seduced and delighted by another (usually a well-endowed Brad Pitt looking guy…with a backwards baseball cap for some reason); these thoughts deeply troubled and would motivate me back into relationships that had already run their course, or worse, were had become toxic.

I don’t know what places of insecurity a woman’s mind typically goes, but would guess it's fueled by less physicality than the typical man (maybe more fear of loss, possessiveness, and concern for losing the best you'll ever have?).

Anyhow, one night I'll never forget came at the end of a 4 year relationship (with an altogether amazing woman who loved me, and most would run down the aisle for). It took all my young will to not call, to keep her from being sexed-up by Brad just one more night. I found comfort in the company of my dad. In sharing my problems he confessed he was once the same way about my mom (they’d been long divorced).

He said that he'd stayed with her for years just because he couldn't bear the thought of her with another man. He wasn't happy, but perversely, he couldn't let what was making him unhappy go for fear of her getting together with his equivalent to Brad (he named a football star from 49’ers I can't remember).

He then casually said something I'll never forget. He said "Son, I could walk into that room over there right now and find your mom getting down with the entire 49’ers football team…I'd have a laugh, shut the door, and It wouldn’t bother me a bit.”

I sat there slack-jawed (in part at the thought of my mom, but more because he meant it). He really could now walk into a room and find my mother in sexual congress with an entire NFL football team and be fine with it. Though his younger self, upon seeing the same thing, would have detonated in supernova of shock.

That idea really stuck with me as evidence of a phenomenon, one unique to longer-term relationships: they become physically and psychologically addictive! Just drugs, alcohol, food, any addiction, a relationship has the same powerful pull as any addiction. But for some reason people don't think of relationships in quite the same way.

Unlike drugs however, when you end a relationship, you needn't swear relationships off for the rest of your life! No, you just need to find a new dealer! How hard could that really be?

Well, you and I know the answer is "pretty effing hard!" But knowing what I know now, it's SO MUCH EASIER:

It starts with recognizing that to end your addiction to a relationship, just as with any other addiction, one of the first steps to break the habit is stopping daily use.

You must put space between you and them. By breaking that daily habit of seeing and being with the person you presently care about, you'll set yourself up for powerful relief after a short period of intense difficulty. That's a fact.

If you think of and treat this breakup like an addiction that will end, as all addictions do when suffocated of supply, it should be a lot easier on you.

Remember that no matter how in-pain you feel, or how much hurt is being caused by the loss of your significant other (whether you instigated the breakup, or they did) there are, quite literally, thousands of much, MUCH better partners for you out there in this world! I don’t care how picky the person, or difficult, or unattractive; everyone you've ever met has no less than thousands of other people in the world who they’d pair brilliantly with.

All to say there are likely tens of thousands of way-better-than-your-ex suitors are out there, doing their thing, right now. People whose lives would be greatly enriched if they had you in them.

I think a lot of confidence and peace can come from believing that, and knowing if you can be strong now, and move on, then one day (probably far sooner than you fear) the odds overwhelmingly favor your meeting one of those people; someone you’ll love SO MUCH MORE! Imagine how much happier you can be.

You take it hour by hour at first, then day by day. Give yourself licence to cry and feel the full range of emotion going on inside. Spending time in the shower having a good cry helps very early on too. You are also mourning for the end of the relationship and all the plans and dreams you had. It is a loss as significant as a death. What makes it even more difficult, is that you no longer have your significant other to share this emotional hurt for comfort.

What helped me when a 20 year relationship ended was trusting in myself that I was going to be fine. Once the emotions begin to abate, you will begin to see the benefits of the end of the relationship. It was a time for deep introspection and finding my way to true authenticity and honesty with myself first, then with others. I did a lot of work to heal and the many benefits continue to this day.

Friendships became deeper as we learned shared our most raw emotions with each other. I had to learn to navigate life solo in what I thought was a couples world - no more planning for the weekend as a couple, much less life.

For me, being in a long-term relationship creates 'emotional memory' much like long-term repetitive motion creates muscle memory. Your decisions, habits, small day to day things are tied to another being, and finding your way to a new normal is hard. You learn to make new habits, new thoughts, opinions and choices.

It was a painful way to lose my fear of being single and of experiencing deep heartache. For those who like predictability and security like me, I came out of denial and began a dialog with my partner. I knew that leaving the relationship was the right thing for both of us, and we continued our relationship as the closest of friends until he passed away several years later.

I figured that if it was going to hurt, then suck it up, go ahead throw yourself on the sword and embrace the changes to come. I now know that I can take anything on in life and I will be fine - it will hurt, but at the end of the day, I will absolutely be fine.

I began to delve into what I really needed out of life and a life partner vs. what I wanted or thought I wanted. I found myself on an unknown path with no plan "B" in mind - for me, like finding yourself at the precipice and not knowing what was to come was unthinkable.

I once watched Dr. Oz on his very early appearances on TV. One episode in particular I remember to this day. He talked about his experience and a cardio-thoracic surgeon and what he has learned that science cannot explain. He talked about the saying that someone had a 'hard heart' and that there is medical basis for it. Angry, constantly stressed, unloving and cold people will indeed have hard heart muscles. People who are loving, kind, happy, surrounded by family and friends will have a beautiful, strong muscular heart muscle. This was borne out by his history with his thousands of patients.

He went on to say that the heart is a muscle that needs exercise, love and a full range of emotions to keep it healthy. Keeping emotions in is not healthy.

A loss of a loved one or relationship gives you a chance to feel the full range and depth of human emotions. I embraced this thought whenever I go through heartache.

The silver lining in all of this is that if you do it right, you will grow emotionally from this and be emotionally healthier, stronger and much more resilient. You'll find that you will be able to see that it is better to live with the one where the love and commitment is mutual and will continue to grow|evolve over time.

Give yourself time to heal. The raw emotional hemorrhaging will begin to modulate and abate, and one day, you'll find yourself smiling again, then you know you are on the mend an on your way to finding your own happiness again.

I wish you well on this part of your journey.

I'm about four weeks into life as a single guy after being dumped by my ex-girlfriend whom I had been together with for about a year and a half (hardly long-term, I know). I'm in my mid-twenties and she was my first true love and my first serious relationship. I wasn't oblivious to the problems we had (obviously, there were some). Most were basic, common relationship issues that every couple go through. For the most part it was amazing though and we only really fought once or twice in eighteen months time and shared some absolutely fantastic moments together. The issues we did have could have been handled and fixed as long as both of us were committed, but unfortunately, she wasn't, and the last one or two months when things started to deteriorate in terms of her mood and way of treating me, I started to suspect what was going to happen but kept denying and repressing the thoughts.

To answer your question, after the fact, I was severely shocked (even though I had expected it to some extent like I said). After she told me she didn't love me anymore that night, I left her house and just burst into tears. Most accurate parallel I can draw as to how I felt at that point is when I had a panic attack about ten years ago. Either way, I called a few friends and got drunk with billions of feelings and emotions running through my mind ranging from self-doubt, severe feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, hopelessness. You name it.

In my life time, I've had the misfortune to have a few close friends tragically pass away. These two cases were both equally difficult to cope with emotionally for me and as strange as it may sound, being dumped was way worse in every conceivable way for me. The following days after, I couldn't eat, drink or sleep let alone think rationally. I was a wreck and found myself in a state I never could've imagine I would be in.

People kept telling me that after some time, I would regain my ability to think more rationally rather than emotionally and that I'd start to see that we weren't right for each other. That I would focus on all the bad things and be happy that I'm now at liberty to find the actual person I'm meant to spend my life with.

It's only been four weeks and I don't think that's a very long time by anyone's standards, but I'm nowhere close to reaching that state. Pretty much only the positive, fun, warm and loving memories come up. Still. Also, I feel like everywhere I look, I'm reminded of her by smells, subtle references, people on the street, friends we have in common and so on.

I've had a lot of amazing support from friends and family throughout the passed month, but at this point I'm sick of bothering them. The truth is that I still love her more than ever and think about her all day - everyday.

Even though things are pretty much still shit, some stuff have helped with alleviating the pain. Keeping yourself occupied with work and other side projects you might have going on works wonders. Avoid spending time alone. If you do, your mind starts to drift and you don't want that to happen.

These past four weeks, I've only stayed at my own place less than a handfull of nights. Now, I'm at a point where I feel have to stop that, get on with my life, 'move back' to my place and tonight was the first night I've spent alone in some time. Obviously, It's not really working out since I've ended up spending it sobbing and writing an attempt at a therapeutic post on Quora with the hopes of being able to get some sleep if I vent this for the millionth time.

Apologize for the incoherent ramble, but maybe it'll help you somehow.

My question for you is for you to ask yourself - if you sincerely want to move on with your life - why do you torture yourself with thoughts of this woman?

What did she mean to you that you can't seem to let her go?

Or, are you using this failed relationship as a reason not to move on and find another and better one?

What are you getting out of behaving in this way?

If you truly want to change what's going on with you, there are simple things you can do to break the habit of your thoughts.

One way is the acknowledge the thoughts, and then schedule another time to consider them. "Yes, I realize I'm thinking of her again, but right now I'm doing XYZ (like trying to sleep). I'll be happy to discuss this with you at 10 AM tomorrow morning - come back and talk to me then."

Another way is to say yes to the thought, but no to the pain it's causing. "Yes, I know I'm thinking of her again, but I choose to let the pain go." Then say something positive about how you're going to feel when you're pain free. Really get into that feeling of freedom.

By acknowledging the thought and not resisting it you're not giving power to those thoughts. Replacing it with something else, or making an appointment with it, helps in further defusing it.

All it takes to get over someone is intention, commitment and practice.

I hope this was helpful.

With metta,

Quinn

Hi

Do these,

1. Surround yourself with good people.
2. Avoid Booze, Alcohol.
3. Smoke less or avoid that too.
4. Better get rid of things you shared with them or if you wanna keep them, dump in a cardboard box and keep out of reach for few months.
5. Never give thought about getting back to the relationship not in the beginning six to 8 months. you are not thinking right.
6. Exercise, Yes A LOT. GYM or JOG.
7. Write down your thought or record it. hear/Read it back 2 or 3 days later and Analyse. cause you are already better and positive compared to day before yesterday.
8. Drink Water, Be hydrated
9. Travel if you can, change the environment for good AIR.
10. Read. Yes it doesn't matter. Read a newspaper.
11. Meditate if you are in to that. or Do listen to your favorite music.
12. Go out and do things, do not sit in your room.
13. Talk to people and share your feelings, it will make your heart and mind at ease.

I can go on and on but in the end, you need to put in the time and energy to be better.

Above can be followed for better life.

GOOD lUCK

It might be hard for a year or two. The problem with being the one who wanted the break up is that you often feel guilty for doing it, even if you thought it was ultimately for the best.

I had an extreme case. I broke up with my middle husband after 12 years together. It was totally my idea, yet it took three years for me to feel ok about it. The only reason I felt better after three years was that he remarried. I didn't recover fully until his first child was born.

There was no reason to break up with him except that I wanted out. The guilt crippled me. I would never have known how bad it could be until I did it.

Anyway, give yourself time and try to feel better. Maybe he will get a new girlfriend soon and you will feel better.

(Deep breathe) I consider myself eligible to be writing this after going through two breakups in the past and right now on the third and the most painful one.

Yes its hurts, it’s a lot of pain when you figure out that the person whom you gave all you could, whom you treated like a princess/Love of your life turned around and kicked on your bum and all those dreams you once had are now shuttered but then my friend, there is nothing like the ‘TRUTH’ and it is that you are ‘Dumped’. However, it’s never wrong to go back to them and talk it out, try figure out and see if you guys can make up. What if you spot the error and fix it but don’t do it again and again, give your best and then let your ego do the talking.

So let’s figure out ways on accepting these painful facts in a few different aspects, before we talk about moving on.

Emotional Aspects:
During this Heart quenching time all that you will be doing is thinking, mostly about the person but while you do it, I would like you to consider thinking on the below points too…

1. You fight with your mom, does she turn around and say, ‘I can’t take it anymore’ Let’s call it off ?
2. Does you dad say the same when you fail in an exam or hurt him or does your best friend cuts off after you punch him on a silly fight ?
3. Even your sister, brother, your boss, your relatives and blah blah do the same ?
No, you talk about it, say sorry and make up because they Love you and know your worth. So I ask you, How long will you cry over somebody who doesn’t believe you are worth it, doesn't care about you and chose to walk away with a dagger full of pain in your chest?

Logical Aspects:
Like the gentleman above said (last comment), it’s about growing up, a lot of people would walk into your life and amongst them a few will stop talking to you, a few will just dump you and the rest of them will eventually die.
My question to you is how long will you cry on something which are beyond your control?

Could it be worst?What if you guys had a grand wedding, a few kinds and then got divorced? What’s better or say less painful?

Now let’s Move on:
The easiest and the best are to find somebody. A replacement will make sure that you get out of the past sooner but make sure it’s another soup you are getting into again.

Stop Stalking:The more you can avoid the better. Cut down on social media, put all the pictures and gifts in a box and seal it. The more you think of it, the more it pulls you down. Yes it will be tough but a scientific study says that if you want to make a habit, practice it for 21 days. So do it.

Never be alone:Meet a lot of friends and spend as much time as possible. Don’t be shy, talk to random people, make acquaintances and just make sure that there is somebody always around. I screwed up and started spending time alone, my mom figured out something is wrong and then was forced to confess. However, Moms are best, they always understand and it’s good to know that they are around.

Experiment/Learn:Do something new, your mind will like the change. Start listening to some new music, travel if you like or join an activity or read a book or learn an instrument. If you get bored of new things, pick up something else or write down your experiences on Quora ;-)

A few personal believes.

Be prepared, your ex is now going to move on, they will fall for somebody, kiss them and sleep with them or say get married and have kids. Accept it way ahead in time; keep telling it to yourself so that your heart doesn't stop beating when you get the bad news. Not that this will help much but it’s always good to be prepared.

Don’t make it dirty, I cannot abuse my EX, even they she acted like a whatever. How they say, ‘Kuch to majbooriyan rahi hongi unki bhi, Yoohi koi Bewafaan nahi hota’. You can always go on a rampage with the person but then that will not make it any better but ruin whatever little left.

Be positive, whatever is yours will always be yours and nobody can take it away from you. Let them go out and see the cruel world, they might just realize how much important you were, just in case you were. You could always take a call on how you want to take it ahead at that point in time. You see time is the best healer and who doesn't screw up.

You are Fortunate: There are 30 Million slaves in the World today, more than a Lakh Orphans, about 14.1 Million cancer patients and they are all dying every day in their lives with every breath they take. You are not one of them, thank your creator and consider the blessing. There is more to life than a partner.

We are born in India, the second highest populated Country with a population of more than 1.2 Billion people amongst which more than 50% of the population is below the age of 25 and more than 65% below the age of 35. On total about 586,469,174 Women, come on the sea has so many fishes.
(Source: Demographics of India)

Last but not the least, have patience, give time some time. There is somebody good for everybody; and they might just be around the corner. Be more than just flesh, bone and blood, have faith, patience and hope. Lord has plans for all of us…

There's no easy way out of it. I always maintain that the first step towards a solution is knowing the problem.

What one goes through is quite like the Kübler-Ross model of five stages of grief, mentioned here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model#Grieving_a_break-up

I'm not a psychiatrist or anything, but a friend had directed me to this article when I was grieving over a similar situation as yours. As I read the article, I felt like such an idiot over the fact that every lame thing I did, was documented on Wikipedia.

Each individual takes his own time in going through all the stages, not everyone goes through all the stages. But the heart-ache doesn't end at acceptance.

Many others might disagree, but these are some harsh measures I took, and they actually helped me:

Minimize the use of social network
I even blocked some 'common friends' to avoid constant feeds about her. Mind you, I'm not asking you to go into a caccooned state of being. There's plenty of life outside social networks. Hang out with your close buddies, and tell them not to mention her, till you say so.

Stash away her pics and gifts given by her
You might regret deleting them permanently when you've entirely moved on. Because then, you'd like to remember the happy times, and not the sad ending.

Indulge into any craft that you like or always wanted to learn
I indulged into learning guitar, and writing to get my mind off thinking about her. Best decision I ever made. I'm proud that I can play a couple of songs on guitar (you wouldn't want to hear me play though), and that I made so many author friends who are now some of my closest friends.

Once you indulge into a hobby and really like it, you'll mostly act like Forrest Gump for a while, doing it till you burn out. As long as it's something constructive, it's all good.

Avoid doing nothing
If you don't wan't to do something. Consume something. Read a book, or watch a movie. Surf Quora. Just don't stay idle. If you're alone with nothing to do (and heaven's forbid a phone within your reach), you'll start thinking about how awful life is, and there will always be a chance of sinking back into depression.

Respect her dreams
Just like you thought she was the one for you, she has every right to dream those dreams about someone else. Just like you felt sure about her, she wants to feel sure about someone too. It sucks that for her, that 'someone' isn't you, but it doesn't make you anything less of person.

Try and be a better man
Your friends will say, that she doesn't know what she's missing out on. And that she'll regret it later.

She probably won't.

But it shouldn't stop you from trying to give her a reason to. Once you've given yourself some time to gather yourself, and get life back to normal (whatever that means!), try and be a better man. Not saying there's anything wrong with the way you are now, but I'm sure you could be better. Not better for her. Just better.

Some Don'ts:

• Don't go into the dark abyss of listening to music, and finding new meanings in lyrics. It's severely depressing. Prefer watching something than just listening.
• Don't go on dating random girls you otherwise never would have, in an attempt to get over her. They are not responsible in any way for your misery, and deserve better. You, deserve better.
• Don't go down the track thinking, 'All girls are like this'. They aren't. You don't fall for every girl. You fell for this one.
• Don't give up on love. Some of your friends might say, that love is for losers. And living like Barney, and Joey is the way a real man should live. There's a reason that form of writing is called 'fiction'.

All the best. See you on the other side.

Reading the other answer and your comments I see you have made some plan of what to do. You say you are moving back, does that mean you will drop out of school? - I think it's College right?

Look, I'll tell you this much. My dear friend, Jett. You say you are in love and this type of ending just isn't right... - What way is the right ending? Is there ever a right ending? When it's time for something to end, it just does and usually one person or both just do not feel the same way anymore.

When someone wants to be 'just friends', I can safely tell you, that is the most mature and most positive 'ending' there can possibly be. Any other ending will be much more painful and worse than this. Being together still - which is what you want, - that is not an ending you see...

I don't know if you'll read the following. You've been in a relationship for 2 years. I guess that's long term, but I myself was in one for double that time. You should consider yourself lucky. Only a very few, sincere relationships last for a long time and in my personal opinion yours is a better ending than mine ever was. It's polite, mature and responsible. It is much better to end like it has on a positive note, than to end in drama and tears...

You have your entire life ahead of you. How long do you think this relationship, if it even continues, will last? How long do you want it to? I can say that yes, I know what it's like to want something to go on, but if she has said she wants to remain 'just friends' then it's clear she has made up her mind. She has thought about this and in my opinion and I hope I'm wrong, who's to say you'll get back together when you go back? She may like the idea of separating, more than staying together and is conveniently using your move to make it end without hurting you.

Trust me, if you're not careful, this has the potential to hurt you. If you say there was love that could not be calculated by any math, then what is long distance? Long distance is nothing... If two people are genuinely committed they can make it work. If not, then they drift apart. For true love, there is no obstacle!

I'll just tell you, nobody is perfect and if you say you truly love somebody then it goes without saying that you wish for them to be truly happy. Perhaps she'll be much happier without you than with you. It very often happens that the other person is just trying to being nice. They do not really see a future together and they just don't want the drama or trouble to keep going. If she really loves you and misses you and wants to be with you as much as you want to be with her, she would not say, let's just be friends.

The only good I see here is that, she still likes you enough to remain friends. But! Perhaps she doesn't see you in a romantic sense anymore. I don't think she is in love with you, because true lovers would make it work no matter what. It's hard to explain; but they are on the same wavelength. They support each other and find a way!

It looks to me like you are more serious than she is. You're willing to do far more than she is. - It's not equal! You are heartbroken for it to end like this, SHE IS NOT! Do you understand that there is a difference?

I think you can try to make it work from your side, if you really wish to, but I don't recommend it. If she so easily broke it off, she could very well do so again in the future, and it may be even more painful the next time. Again I must ask you, how long do you think you two will last? Let's say you go back and continue this relationship. A year? 2 more? Do you think you'll get married?

Please be wise about this and please talk to both your parents. You may not think it, but they are much older and wiser than both of us, and I guarantee you, they will give you some heartfelt advice.

You'll be living with one of them anyway, right? Please listen with an open mind to what they have to say and really understand that they have WAY, WAY more experience and they can understand your situation. Talk to them. Please.

I don't know what else to say and I hope you'll make a wise, well thought out decision.

I truly wish you the best.

The truth is, you may never "get over" her. She was brought into your life for a reason, even if that reason was to simply ignite love within you. You know what it means to love deeply. That is a gift, a truly wonderful thing. (Not everyone experiences true love, so accept it as the blessing that it is.) If there is not a possibility of reconciling with her and reestablishing your relationship, then move on. Honor her by giving her the space and freedom that she needs and deserves. Take time to appreciate her and value her for the contribution that she has made in your life, then direct your loving heart toward someone with whom you can truly connect and share your days with.

Life is brief. Enjoy the people that God has placed in your midst. Experience the beauty of the world around you. Be thankful for the woman who revealed your loving heart to you; put it to work and direct your love to others.

You will be okay. You will move on and you will live life well.

Good luck.

IAcceptance. Accept that, you were in love, and you have broken up. Only then you can think about the next step, which is to move on.

In other way round, do not let thoughts run around in your mind. Possibilities such as ‘do i matter to him now?’, ‘I think that he still loves me’ , ‘has he moved on?’ , ‘has he started drinking?’ , ‘should i start drinking?’, ‘lets see what our mutual friends have to say about us’ ,etc.

You have to stop thinking about everything that may give you hope.There is no possibility that you can get back together. So remove these useless and time consuming thoughts from your mind.

Realise, that nothing in your life should be your life. It should be a part of your life. Relationship was a part of your life and now this breakup is a part of relationship. Dont make breakup as a part of life. It is upto you, to what extent make this breakup big or small.

Focus on other parts of your life such as Career goals, love of family, etc. I wont say start doing things you like. I wont say start doing new things. Very impracticable as it sounds, if you like listening to music you will listen to sad songs, if you like painting you will paint a lonely girl, and that will worsen the situation.

Express your feelings, but only once, to your dearest friend or to your mom, or to the God. Dont cry in front of everyone you met.

Breakup is a phase of your life. You will emerge as a stronger person but only when you will focus on yourself. Your happiness matters the most.

Know that it will take time. Everything that you received from a long term relation will not fade away easily. Even, we dont want it to fade. If not experiences then what will you cherish, what life lessons will you pass on to your next generation?!. Let it stay but not for now. For later,whenever needed for whatever purpose it may need.

For now, time is demanding different things from you. See, your career is demanding inputs, your family might be demanding attention. Be in present. Congratulations for having experienced real love. Focus on today, and you will see that life is beautiful.

I was in the nearly same spot as you. I know how you feel.

My partner and I were college love birds. We were the couple everyone rooted for because we had been steady since so many years.

When my partner and I parted ways it was because of family disagreement as well. Now when you've spent so much of your time loving one person it is quite a challenge to step out of the relationship. Plus, you cannot accept anyone else taking their place, you tend to become fiercely protective about their space in your heart, guarding it. To add to this when you love someone so much you place them on such a high pedestal that no one seems good enough! Everyday was a challenge for me. I was slowing spiraling into depression.

We had decided that keeping in touch would only make things difficult and so we had to severe all ties. Initially I would spy on the person on whatsapp or facebook. This was a mistake. It only made matters worse. No matter how much I hate to say this now but a happy picture or (the person's) being online at unusual hours put me through hell of a rage. I couldn't fanthom the idea of them moving on with the lives so soon! After torturing myself enough, I learned that I had to let go. I had no right to be privy of their life anymore.

And when you are in a terrible shape your friends also tend to run away from you and I don't blame them. There is only so much a friend can do for you, beyond that he/she loses interest in you as well. Which is in a way good, you don't want to pull your friends down with yourself, right? So I had decided to stay away from my friends until I was in a better form.

I'd think so many times, my life wasn't a mess before my partner came in, now that person is no more with me, why can't I get it to back as it was? and as long as I remember I've always been a cheerful person.

There was a firm resolution in me to bring about a change.
This is what I did-

• tried to keep myself busy with work, just enough to give me mind a breather but not enough to lose myself in work.

• I started a hobby, something that I enjoyed thoroughly. You can start reading if you like.

• Another thing I did, and the best one was investing in physical activity, you may pick up dance if you like- salsa/tango/anything new.There was a burning urge in me to start fresh. I had had enough of tears for months together, almost a year and was fed up of my terrible state. I'd taken up a form of self defense training.

This increased my social circle. There were happy, lively and energetic people I was surrounded with during those few hours of my day and it would lift up my spirits instantly! I used to look forward to my activity with the bunch everyday, after all it was it my highlight of the day.

All these months spent in depression had led me to put on weight, it was an insidious process about which I had not realized until after a couple of months after my training when people started to compliment me about the difference. This boosted my moral. It has also led me to believe that any form of workout is necessary for one to come out of a depression. Also, you meet new people, not in context of dating but even if it is that's alright. The important thing is that this new bunch of people whom you meet, give you a chance to be the new person you've wanted to be. The jolly & self sufficient kind.

Anyway, I can't say that all this helped me get over the person I loved, which I think would happen eventually but, it made me a stronger person. I gained my self confidence back. My friends too were mighty glad to see me so happy and cheerful. I started going out for movies, shopping with friends, walks, playing with tiny cousins, reading, etc I became happy, genuinely, more so because I knew I've accomplished no minor feat- pulling yourself out of a nasty heartbreak is commendable.

Remember, everything in this world can be replaced, if not, you can learn to live and love something else instead.

Take care. Lots of good wishes!

We used to see each other everyday,never missed a single rain without getting wet in sake of each other’s happiness.

We were truly,madly in love and then something happened to me,i tried to break up,she cried whole night and i said “sorry” and we were together again.

After few days,i tried to break up again,she cried,she was hurt,i was scared,said “sorry” and again we were together.

Now,i decided,i lost feelings for her completely,i couldn’t see any way out and broke up eventually and cut off all contacts with her.

I played with her like she was a toy.

After a year,i text her to ask her to talk at instagram,seen but no reply,i sent dozens of messages about how i played with her feelings and how much sorry i was but no reply.I stopped.

I still miss her badly!

You know break up is not a bad thing,what bad is how you do it,the way i did was awfully painful and sorrowful.I made a terrible mistake,it’s really really hard for me to recover.There hasn’t a single day when i didn’t check her fb,insta accounts.

Now every drop of rain reminds me of her!

I’m so sorry.

I haven’t had that particular loss yet, but I’ve lived long enough to have lost people close to me, lost a job I spent 19 years at, and seen what my kids have gone through with their break-ups. I’ve learned that everyone handles loss a little differently, but it starts by recognizing that that empty feeling has a name: grieving.

Don’t let anyone else tell you that you’re doing it wrong, or that you should just “get over it”, or “move on.” You’ve been wounded, and it will take you time to heal.

Cry as much as you need to. After a while, you’ll learn to steer clear of the thoughts — and places — that make you cry. Spend as much time as you can in nature - trees and stones and water. They don’t mind when you lean on them.

Force yourself to exercise, and to do things you can enjoy on your own. Go for long walks, go to museums or rock concerts or whatever else you like. Try a few new things. Spend time with your friends. Spend time with your pets, if you have them.

Write. Write poetry, songs (there’s a reason why so many songs are about break-ups), a blog, maybe try National Novel Writing Month this November.

Take your time getting back into dating. Try to figure out what went wrong in your last relationship, work on anything that seems like something you can fix, and try to make several of friends before diving into a relationship with one of them.

You will start feeling better with time. (If it keeps getting worse, and you feel that you just can’t go on, get professional help — major depression can sneak up on you, and it can kill you.)

You’ll get through this. Good luck!

And thanks for asking.

It obviously takes time.

For starters; you should dispose of everything that reminds you of or makes you think of your ex. This includes any pictures or gifts or whatever it may be that reminds you of them.

Second of all; practice self love and care. No matter how much someone loves you, at the end of the day you are all to yourself. Learn to be independent and do things that you want. When you were in a relationship you had to dedicate some time to your partner. Now, replace that time you used to dedicate to them with something more productive, such as trying new things out or watching a movie you’ve wanted to watch for a long time or going out with friends or even sleeping in on a weekend.

Gradually you will think of them lesser and they will play lesser of a role in your life. Everyone has their different times taken for moving on. Some take years, for others it may be weeks. So just stay patient and continue doing what you want except anything that reminds you of your ex.

Going to be a long one but please read it till the end. Hope it helps.

You will go through a lot of emotions in the moving on phase. Sometimes you'll feel sad and sometimes angry. Sometimes, you'll feel a love towards him/her and sometimes strong hatred. They will break you from the inside. Sometimes, memories will make you feel nostalgic and sometimes they will haunt you.

You'll feel more depressed after seeing other couples doing the same things you used to do with your partner.

I'll advice you not to keep these emotions inside you. Share it with your closed ones to whom you know they will understand you and would not make fun of your feelings. Cry out loud. Cry while being alone too. Don't let those feelings destroy you from the inside.

But, you can't stay like that forever. You have to move on some or the other day. You have to get healed and overcome this pain. This is surely going to be tough but not impossible.

There are two options:

1. To stay depressed and affect your health as well as career.
2. To show courage and fight with your emotions.

First one will be the easier one right now. But the second one is correct. You need to decide whether you want to become a stronger person and move on or to stay weak forever.

You might be having a few or perhaps, a lot of regrets like you were not good while in the relationship. You couldn't show him/her that you were the best partner.

Regrets are the biggest burden. Try hard not to keep them. Just keep in mind that you were at your best in the relationship. You did everything possible to save your relation at that time. It's just that you guys were not destined to be together.

Here are few steps to overcome your pain:

1. Cry as much you want to. Let the feelings come out. Let the tears flow. Share with closed ones. Don't hide your pain. Cry in front of them. Just let the pain come out.
2. Accept the situation. Don't expect them to come back to you. Life is not a movie. Accept that your partner has gone forever.
3. Forgive. Forgiving doesn't always mean forgiving the person. Sometimes, it means forgiving the situations and you have to forgive him/her as well as the situation. For this, you need to forgive yourself first.
4. Just stop talking about him/her after the third step. Stop stalking. Stop cribbing about that person to your friends. Just stop. Close the chapter. Behave as if you have never been into a relationship. Fake the happiness. Fake it till you feel it in real. And yes, you will start feeling that happiness in real.

You should read novels. I'm suggesting you a short novel which helped me in forgiving and in overcoming the pain and that is Looking for Alaska by John Green.

Here are few lines by John Green:

Everything that comes together falls apart. Everything. It was built, and so it will fall apart. Nothing can last, not even the earth itself.

Suffering was caused by desire and the cessation of desire meant the cessation of suffering. When you stopped wishing things wouldn't fall apart, you would stop suffering when they did.
Someday no one will remember that. Because, memories fall apart too. And then you're left with nothing, left not even with a ghost but with its shadow.
I'd finally had enough of chasing after a ghost who didn't want to be discovered. We'd failed, maybe, but some mysteries aren't meant to be solved.
-Looking for Alaska, John Green

You'll overcome this pain. Everybody does. Be strong. Don't give up.

“Dear little fighter, soon it will be brighter.”

God bless you.

People changes and so does their feelings..love is just a quote in this real world… You are not supposed to be loved by someone else if you dont love yourself first..things get worsened if you think a lot..try to induldge yourself with what you love to do..you are a free bird now..grab each and every oppurtunity.. listen to music (delete sad songs) travel a lot..eat what you love the most..watch movies,series..read novels(will never leave you trust me)..it’s a phase my dear..it will pass(will take sometime though but its not the end)...life has more to give and take.. just be young,wild and free..don't let this moment destroy you..after ages you are going to laugh and think of these things as nothing what you left and what you have became..everything comes in validity and expiring dates..keep calm and explore yourself..remember there are plenty of fish in the sea

Keep busy, it sucks, it's hard, and it feels never ending, am 3 months in to being blindsided

No contact since the day she left , I hate it, she broke up with me and hurt me so bad.

Every day for past 3 months I've hit the gym, gone to work which has been hard, and walked my dog 3 times a day, I write every little single thing in my head down and really focused on eating healthy.

I've cried at work, after the gym, even on dog walks. I've let myself feel it all and it's so pain full.

She really did a number on me, walking out on me 15 years ago because of the timing, then coming back 3 years ago wanting me back, after 2 years togther in what I thought was a amazing happy relationship, her kids loved me and her family and we had been on holidays the lot. We both in our 40s and she new how much I loved her then and now and pretty much always.

We spoke of living with each other, getting married. The hole 9 yards.

Then one day out the blue she tells me she can't see a future, totally knocking me off my feet.

Though the tears have slowed, and the pain eased some what, I still think of her everyday and wonder if we will ever meet again, after all the time we have known each other and how our connection felt so strong ( her words too)

Moving on is hard, I don't think pain makes us stronger, I think it just makes us wiser. We never truly get over them, we just learn to keep moving forward.

Stay healthy, stay busy but make time to feel it all, set goals, keep moving,

Pretty sure it's going to take me a while or so to be fully myself again,

I think am faking it till I make it, break ups are the worst think especially if you were the one who was dumped.

Well, all I can share is my own experience. Here’s what I did:

1. Cried my eyes out.
2. Left my old job, packed my bags and got on a plane.
3. Travelled to a lot of places where we didn’t share any memories together, met new people, made a useful and productive person out of myself.
4. Still cried my eyes out every time I missed him. When I encountered something interesting, amazing, or funny, I fought myself against telling him all about it. I DECIDED NO, I WILL NOT CONTACT HIM EVER AGAIN. I CHOSE NOT TO. Power of the WILL, man. Really, the WILL is very powerful.
5. Forgave him and put out of my mind all the hurtful things (and lovely things)he did. Forgetting is different from actively pushing out of your mind things that hurt you. Every time I remember, I actively push them out of my mind and think of more worthy things. I kept doing that until I finally no longer think of them.
6. Underwent training and became a missionary and diverted all of my energy into serving others. It made me focus on others and not myself and my feelings.
7. Prayed a lot, played my uke and sang my heart out a lot. Spent time with God.

I know it’s extremely hard, but you can do it, buddy. Many people have experienced and are currently experiencing what you are experiencing now. You are not alone. You can do it. Prayers for you.