A long time ago in a land far away, I taught at a beautiful little school that was physically and financially attached to a church. I didn’t attend the church, but I was well aware of the hostility between the two parties. Over several years, those hostilities became very, very cruel and ugly. Finally, the school, because of the church’s incredible bullying, chose to give up and close for good. But the people and leaders of the church wouldn’t even let that happen peacefully. Those last couple months were unbelievably awful with this church absolutely crushing those of us who were employed at the school and actively trying to destroy us personally.
Packing up my classroom was heartbreaking. I got most of it moved out with the help of friends, but packing the last of it was so emotional I had to do by myself. I went in the middle of the night so I could work and cry and say goodbye without anyone interrupting. I did a lot of crying that night. Then the work was done; my room was empty; and, my tears had run themselves out. I was done. Somewhere in those hours I’d also found a sad sort of acceptance. I was calm with a measure of peace as I turned off the lights for the last time and walked through the dark halls I knew so well to the main door. Half way to the door, feeling lighter than I had in many months, I had a crazy idea that made me laugh. A lot.
Months later I heard about a crazy thing that happened there the very next morning, a Sunday morning scheduled full of services and breakfasts. Someone complained there was no paper of any kind in the bathroom. That’s ridiculous because with thousands of people descending on the facilities every Sunday they always had huge back up rolls in every bathroom… But, sure enough, that bathroom was found to be completely out. A check of the next bathroom and the next and the next (all devoid of every of paper product) made folks start to panic a bit. Someone went to one of the kitchens for tissues and napkins while someone else went to buy all the toilet paper in every nearby store. Low and behold, there were no napkins or for that matter any paper products in any kitchen or in any room in the whole frickin building, not even in the storage rooms. No toilet paper, no paper towels, no boxes of tissues, no napkins, nothing of the sort—-—just folks sitting in toilet stalls with their pants down and no place to go.
It created quite the fiasco, or so I’m told. Though the caper must have been pulled by someone who knew the building very well, the thief was never found. In time it became a local legend/perfect prank sort of story that I’ve heard repeated at get-togethers every year since. It’s a story that always makes people laugh—-including me. A lot.
Crazy idea.