I live in a large million dollar *home. I’ve recently taken on a housemate who has a beautiful dog with separation anxiety. Ralph has whimpered a few nights. It sucks- he was whimpering at 3am. I got 2 anonymous poison pen letters today from neighbors complaining about ralphy. I’ve been listening for YEARS to my next door neighbors dogs , and other neighbourhood dogs booming non stop all night. So tonight when the neighbors dog started barking I got out my bullhorn and let off the siren announcing “ dear neighbors THAT BARKING WAS NOT MY DOG I REPEAT THAT BARKING WAS NOT MY DOG!!!” I’m going to do it all night - 3 am FULL VOLUME Whenever I hear ANY dog bark until I Get an apology. For the next 3 years. Also I’m going to start my 500hp drag racing car at 6am after playing my ginormous stereo till midnight. Fucking rude bastards. Is it that hard to be polite? —***UPDATE ***there has been peace in the valley with only a few Socially acceptably houred bullhorn uses- however one valley neighbour started his 2 stroke lawn implement at 7am sharp ( earliest legally allowed) this morning - my sleep in day- and as soon as he stopped - at 730 the neighbour’s dogs started barking. Siren applied. The stereo and drag car have been left in reserve- but it does need a mechanical check and the mechanic does start at 7 am. I want appeasement but Poland and 40 million lives later we know how that went. *COVID EDIT- the house has probably probably dropped from $910k US to $600k US in recent months . I hope . For personal reasons. So in my “ half million dollar house”