I can be a fairly vengeful guy if someone’s been a complete dick. So I’ve retaliated against a few people in some pretty significant ways.

One of the best ways I’ve gotten revenge was when we “punished” one of my college dorm’s RA my sophomore year. The college I went to hired their RA’s from a local christian college. The RA that lived on my floor was actually a pretty cool guy, and would look the other way on a lot of shit.

The RA’s above, and below, my floor were pretty much assholes though. They went out of their way to bust everyone in the dorm whenever they could. This led to a pretty big game of cat & mouse between the students and RA’s that year.

I remember my RA came to my defense once after I was pretty much caught dead to rights getting high in my room. For some reason the RA above me had been on my floor and had smelled weed coming from my room. I remember standing in my dorm room doorway in complete panic after him and my RA had knocked on my door to investigate it.

For a reason I never found out, when my RA saw my window open, he told the RA from upstairs, the weed smell was simply tree leaves people in the neighborhood had been burning.

As the other RA very excitedly scoffed at the idea he was smelling burning tree leaves, I remember a “caught in the headlights” feeling of being unsure what had just happened…. But the matter was closed, and I shut the door and breathed a huge sigh of relief, and thanked my lucky stars

For the most part, we were all pretty slick with what we were doing, and nobody had been caught doing anything that resulted in any significant ramifications. That is until a couple weeks before the end of the school year. One of my buddies that lived a few doors down from me had been caught getting high by the RA on the floor under us.

He was set to graduate at the end of the school year, but the school expelled him with 2 weeks left in the school year. Needless to say his parents were furious at him, and he was devastated that 4 years worth of work was down the drain. I remember him literally being in tears and crying as he told me what happened.

Five or six of us were partying in his room the night before he was set to move out, saying our goodbyes to him. Eventually, we reached a point where we all reached that drunkenly belligerent stage, and we started “mother fucker’ing” the RA that got him kicked out.

We were all sitting around talking about how we needed to “get him back” for ruining our friends life. After a few minutes I remembered I had grabbed a 2nd trash can at the very start of the school year. I came up with the idea that all of us should pee in it, lean it against the RA’s door, knock, and let him open his door with a trash can full of pee spilling out into his room.

As we were pee’ing into the bucket (Which was 1/2 filled by the time we were done), I decided that wasn’t enough pain considering how badly he ruined our friends life. After giving it a moment of thought, I suggested we poop in it as well… And two or three of us wound up taking a shit in the can as well.

I’d guess it was approximate 2 AM when we leaned it against his door, knocked, and ran off. Because of the seriousness of what we were doing, we knew we had to end the party or we’d all get busted.

The next morning several of the RA’s were inspecting the dorm rooms of the usual suspects to see if anyone was missing a trash can. Of course, we had to inspect our work, and I took a casual stroll down the hallway the next day. Outside his room smelled like an uncleaned truckstop bathroom. Which I had to catch up with my compadres in crime and gloat. Of course our actions was the talk of the dorm, and I had heard a few days later, the RA had been completely traumatized and even called the cops that night.

I will admit… I love that story, because in my mind, the guy deserved it. I don’t know where that RA wound up, but I’d like to think as he was cleaning piss and shit up off his floor that night… he was considering his personal choices that made people dislike him so much