Well, the problem with me is that my mouth starts before my brain does. Or, something will sound good in my brain, but once I say it out loud, I really hear what I said. So, I have a lot of things I've said that I regret.
The time I saw our neighbor shirtless and exclaimed to my husband, “Oh, wow honey. Nick is bigger than you. No, really! He is way bigger.”
Or the time when my husband was telling me about a lady flirting with him and I told him that she must be desperate for a man. I sure as hell didnt mean it that way, but it sure as hell came out that way. I love my husband to the moon and back. And, usually when I've figured out what I just said to him, I'm begging him not to leave me.
The most recent horrible thing I've said is when my wonderful, sweet, caring husband invited a friend of his to stay with us for a few days. Because of his work, he's met and become friends with a lot of people online, but has never actually personally met them. “Bob" was one of them. Bob was traveling around the country, so my hubby invited him to stay with us for a few days as he was passing through.
Bob was a very nice guy. He really was. But, Bob also had the knack of stretching a short story to the point that your brain went numb before it was over. I came home from work and asked my hubby how their day was going. My hubby explained that he had asked Bob what he did for a living, other than his one part time job. Bob started telling him every job he has ever done since the time he was 17. It took 4 hours. That's how Bob was. Very nice guy. Mind numbingly boring.
On the day that he was to leave, my hubby decided that we needed to take him out to lunch. Once we got back home, I suddenly remembered that I had some flowers to plant and weeds to pull. So, I stayed outside while they both went in. About an hour later, they both came out of the house. Bob said to me that he was now leaving. What I meant to say was that it was good to meet him and have a good trip. You want to know what actually came out of my mouth? “Good". That's it. Nothing else. I couldn't get anything else out. My hubby is behind him, gesturing to me, What the f#$%? And Bob asked me what I said. And all I could do was start the giggles. I felt so horrible and all I could do is giggle.
He hasn't been back since, but he and hubby are still friends, somehow. My hubby informed me that he will make sure I'm never invited to any diplomatic conventions, because he doesnt want another world war.