I am an 18yr old indian boy, i Don't think i have anyone to talk about this so i am opening up on Quora this time. I have been feeling really lonely, demotivated and depressed recently. It has been more than 2 months now, at the time when i am writing this. I seriously am suffering from something but i don't know exactly what it is. I tend to be weak and cry really often now a days when i am alone and this is really disheartening for me to see myself like this as i have always been a strong personality till now. I have stood up for my friends everytime but now i can't even help myself. I love to draw and paint, i really am good at it. But i am not able to enjoy that too now. Sometimes, i suddenly get my legs shaking, heart rushing to its fullest, i experience shortness of breath, strain in my head, everything at once and i am not sure how to deal with it. I don't really talk much and dont express anything to anyone. I don't like anything now and get irritated very easily. I have even been sucidal many times and thinking of it is really scary. I don't know how to help myself, how to deal with all of it. Couple of my friends have even mailed a counselling organisation to seek help but i don't think i am comfortable to talk to anyone about this. Only 2 of my friends know about this, but i don't think they are taking it as seriously as they should. I am tired of everything now. I don't think i can handle much stuff. I don't think i am able to do anything. I feel like i am just paralysed and hopeless.