My story is funny, because I essentially diagnosed myself. I was 16 years old. I had been being treated by Dr. F for depression for several months. But I wasn't just depressed. I was having episodes of hypomania (later, when I was older, I had full manic episodes). I stayed up all night on school nights working on art projects that fell apart. At a gathering I ran down the street without a shirt on. I kicked a hole in a wall during a tantrum. My energy was out of control. I would talk and talk like I couldn't stop. I knew something was up

At the time some pharmaceutical company was advertising a medication online by posting a survey that had questions about mood and activities, and it suggested I talk to my doctor about bipolar disorder. I found myself agreeing with the quiz, and suggested to my psychiatrist that I was bipolar.

Dr. F agreed with that assessment. He said I had appearead hypomanic during sessions. He diagnosed me with bipolar II and put me on lithium. Suddenly my world evened out. Later I was diagnosed with bipolar I, and put on other meds, but lithium, with meds, like the antipsychotic perphenazine, controlled my bipolar disorder for fifteen years.

In October of 2017, I was hospitalised for lithium toxicity. The normal blood level is between 0.5 and 1.2 mmol/L. I was at 4 mmol/L. They had to call poison control. My kidneys could have been permanently damaged, but they weren't. However, after vomiting up all my meds for several days, I had my first psychotic break. I'd had paranoia and delusions before, but now I was hallucinating. It was horrible. I was fighting and trying to escape and had to be tied down until I agreed to take my meds and chilled out.

I now take Abilify, Busbar, Effexor XR, and Xanax. I'm not hallucinating, but I'm still trying to get my paranoia and delusions under control. This is normal. Mental illness evolves as you get older. Your body gets used to meds, or in my case, becomes unable to tolerate them. Your symptoms change. When I was first diagnosed, depression was my main symptom. Now mania and paranoia are. Although I have symptoms, I'm doing okay.

I'm a little proud of myself for figuring out I was bipolar before my psychiatrist. A good shrink will listen to your suggestions and thoughts. Dr. F listening to me ensured I was treated in a timely manner. This is the kind of doctor you should look for.

Anyone with questions about their mental health can come to me.