I had a client referred to me who was a professional athlete. (some details changed, of course)
I worked at a private hospital in Connecticut that ended up seeing a number of athletes or well known people - both men and women. We had both detox/rehabs and psychiatric care. It was private pay. He wasn’t the only athlete I’d seen.
In this particular case, all the women in the office were gushing about him coming in…chatting it up, so excited to see him in person, etc…
He came in and was very pleasant to them….
And the moment he stepped into my office, he broke down and sobbed.
His depression was deep and painful.
Sound sexy? It wasn’t.
Clients aren’t potential sexual objects to me, they’re people who need help.
I don’t see vulnerable people who are struggling as “attractive,” “hot,” or “sexy” - is it just me?
The things I notice about their appearance?
Whether they combed their hair or look like they are bathing regularly. Are they unkempt or put together? Do they at least seem like they are taking adequate care of themselves?
Their appearance is about assessment to me.
Maybe I’m alone in this, but I honestly have never been attracted to a client. I don’t see them that way at all.
Most of my clients are experiencing deep pain psychiatrically - struggling with depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc…
I feel compelled to help them, not sleep with them.
Frankly, I think people who become attracted to clients have problems themselves.
Maybe they are deeply insecure and find the client’s helplessness attractive, or maybe a client makes them feel important when they don’t have a solid ego otherwise…who knows.
But the person who walks in the door needs your help.
…and to me, a person in psychiatric pain isn’t sexy, and I don’t find them attractive. They’re often really broken, hurting people at their wits end and struggling.
There have been a lot of questions like this on Quora, and I hope you understand that there are terrible therapists just as there are other types of doctors.
The stories you hear of therapists who are attracted to clients and cross lines are a tragedy, and a stain on the profession.