That stinks. And you can speculate and ask Quora till the cows come home how to handle it.

I’ve abruptly ended therapy with patients. Sometimes, as with adolescents, they aren’t being productive in therapy. This is challenging because it seems to take more time / sessions on average to build the trust. I’m talking about once good rapport is established. They still quit being productive. Or they quit showing up for their appointments. Of course that latter is about any patient; not just the adolescents.

Back in my college days, I had a therapist who abruptly ended therapy. “He doesn’t work here any more.” Was the response when I went for my session. That was at a campus counseling center; not a solo or group private practice. I later learned why he wasn’t working there (from a friend of mine who was also a friend of his, it turned out). And it wasn’t anything unethical or anything like that. He had died. So yeah. I had the pleasure of addressing this new challenge in session with my new therapist.

I do well to address countertransferance with my patients. I tell them when they share something that makes me sad for them and I occasionally cry with them too. That’s probably not the enmeshment you experienced. I make it a point to not be co-dependent. They can leave my office crying, angry, whatever. Even angry with me. I’m okay with that. But I tell them all that, before they fire me (just stop showing up) over them not liking how they feel if and when I make an observation they don’t want to hear, they might consider addressing it. Why? Because they will hide it from their next therapist. And the adverse observation will go unaddressed and continue their problems they’re seeing me for. I have a few patients who fired their previous therapist without communicating them.

One of the tenets of therapy is the same as in medicine. Do no harm. It is entirely possible that terminating the relationship was the least amount of harm your therapist could manage at the time. And it’s possible that closure could harm you more.