Frozen.
How many years has it been since I started living as a shut-in? My last clear memory is about six months after high school graduation.
Until then, I’d kept in touch with friends, usually going to karaoke or game centers. Shopping was done online, making outings unnecessary, which shows how convenient things have become. I got along with friends with similar interests, so we never argued about where to hang out.
But as they got busier with university and work, our interactions became less frequent. I’m not proactive about reaching out, so without messages from them, I wouldn’t initiate con
Frozen.
How many years has it been since I started living as a shut-in? My last clear memory is about six months after high school graduation.
Until then, I’d kept in touch with friends, usually going to karaoke or game centers. Shopping was done online, making outings unnecessary, which shows how convenient things have become. I got along with friends with similar interests, so we never argued about where to hang out.
But as they got busier with university and work, our interactions became less frequent. I’m not proactive about reaching out, so without messages from them, I wouldn’t initiate contact. As a result, we lost touch within just six months.
I didn’t feel lonely when my friends stopped reaching out. In fact, I felt relieved not to have to reply. If I want interaction, I can just go online — there are plenty of people like me out there.
As long as I keep some distance, there’s no need for deep connections. I can enjoy casual chats and disengage whenever I want, even blocking someone if needed. It’s a perfectly convenient and efficient world.
Thanks to that, I’ve never once felt lonely while staying in my room. If I look, there are plenty of people in the same situation as me. Whether it’s late at night or the middle of the day, I can always find someone who shares my feelings. When I’m hungry, I eat. When I’m tired, I sleep. And when I’m awake, I spend my time either reading or browsing the internet.
I’ve seen TV debates about NEETs and shut-ins, but they’re always pointless. Those discussions won’t change our values because that’s how we were raised.
- If parents really wanted to fix things, they’d stop providing for us.
- But they don’t, so NEETs get more entitled, believing their parents are there to serve them.
- Parents need to confront their NEET children with the same resolve as if they were ready to let them go, or it will just be a never-ending cycle.
- By making excuses out of pity or fear, they continue to provide their children with money, food, and freedom.
- Ultimately, it’s not just society, but also parents who enable the spread of NEETs.
If I lock myself away, I won’t be a burden to society. If I quietly stay in my room, I’ll be forgotten, and my existence will fade away. I’m fine with that. If I suddenly disappear from the internet, it doesn’t matter. No one is really that concerned about me anyway.
Thinking this way, I find myself quite humble.
- Parents might secretly wish I’d die when they bring me food, so they wouldn’t waste money or feel suffocated by my presence.
- If I were in their shoes, I’d probably feel the same way.
- They bring me three meals a day, heat the bath, give me pocket money, clean my room, and do my laundry. I spend all day with the TV and computer on, playing games, while they quietly continue to “house” me without complaint.
I’ve never thought of it as pathetic. I once considered posting stories or comics online but quickly lost interest and gave up. I tend to get excited about things but lose interest just as fast. Because of this, I realized early on that someone like me isn’t suited for work.
How many years has it been since I’ve been living like this? Time blurs when you’re stuck in a room — it’s as if my life froze when I became a NEET.
I only interact with others online, though I’m not sure that even counts as real communication. Without direct experiences and conversations with others, growth comes to a halt.
My life has been frozen for years. My body ages, but my mind is still stuck in the moment I graduated high school — nothing has changed, and I don’t think it ever will.
I plan to keep living off my parents and wouldn’t mind if they gave up on me, and I faded away. As long as my parents don’t abandon me, my life will remain frozen in time until the day I die.
Frozen.
Where do I start?
I’m a huge financial nerd, and have spent an embarrassing amount of time talking to people about their money habits.
Here are the biggest mistakes people are making and how to fix them:
Not having a separate high interest savings account
Having a separate account allows you to see the results of all your hard work and keep your money separate so you're less tempted to spend it.
Plus with rates above 5.00%, the interest you can earn compared to most banks really adds up.
Here is a list of the top savings accounts available today. Deposit $5 before moving on because this is one of th
Where do I start?
I’m a huge financial nerd, and have spent an embarrassing amount of time talking to people about their money habits.
Here are the biggest mistakes people are making and how to fix them:
Not having a separate high interest savings account
Having a separate account allows you to see the results of all your hard work and keep your money separate so you're less tempted to spend it.
Plus with rates above 5.00%, the interest you can earn compared to most banks really adds up.
Here is a list of the top savings accounts available today. Deposit $5 before moving on because this is one of the biggest mistakes and easiest ones to fix.
Overpaying on car insurance
You’ve heard it a million times before, but the average American family still overspends by $417/year on car insurance.
If you’ve been with the same insurer for years, chances are you are one of them.
Pull up Coverage.com, a free site that will compare prices for you, answer the questions on the page, and it will show you how much you could be saving.
That’s it. You’ll likely be saving a bunch of money. Here’s a link to give it a try.
Consistently being in debt
If you’ve got $10K+ in debt (credit cards…medical bills…anything really) you could use a debt relief program and potentially reduce by over 20%.
Here’s how to see if you qualify:
Head over to this Debt Relief comparison website here, then simply answer the questions to see if you qualify.
It’s as simple as that. You’ll likely end up paying less than you owed before and you could be debt free in as little as 2 years.
Missing out on free money to invest
It’s no secret that millionaires love investing, but for the rest of us, it can seem out of reach.
Times have changed. There are a number of investing platforms that will give you a bonus to open an account and get started. All you have to do is open the account and invest at least $25, and you could get up to $1000 in bonus.
Pretty sweet deal right? Here is a link to some of the best options.
Having bad credit
A low credit score can come back to bite you in so many ways in the future.
From that next rental application to getting approved for any type of loan or credit card, if you have a bad history with credit, the good news is you can fix it.
Head over to BankRate.com and answer a few questions to see if you qualify. It only takes a few minutes and could save you from a major upset down the line.
How to get started
Hope this helps! Here are the links to get started:
Have a separate savings account
Stop overpaying for car insurance
Finally get out of debt
Start investing with a free bonus
Fix your credit
A few years ago, I could be considered a hikikomori. I did not leave the house more than a handful of times per year, and that was only when it was absolutely neccessary. I didn't become a recluse willingly, but because I was bullied both inside and outside of school, and had nowhere to turn to but home. It ended up lasting for years. Here are a few things I can say about it:
- The internet was my life, with online gaming taking a special place. It allowed me to seek the social contacts I craved, and to forget my own life, and the loser that I felt I was. Without the internet, it would seem a lot
A few years ago, I could be considered a hikikomori. I did not leave the house more than a handful of times per year, and that was only when it was absolutely neccessary. I didn't become a recluse willingly, but because I was bullied both inside and outside of school, and had nowhere to turn to but home. It ended up lasting for years. Here are a few things I can say about it:
- The internet was my life, with online gaming taking a special place. It allowed me to seek the social contacts I craved, and to forget my own life, and the loser that I felt I was. Without the internet, it would seem a lot more likely that I'd have committed suicide.
- I did not work, I did not go to school. The longer my reclusive situation continued, the more terrified I became of those things, because I completely lost my social skills. Conversation is really something I have to learn all over again; even today, a lot of the time when other people talk to me, I don't respond. This is because, while I am thinking about what they are saying, it doesn't even occur to me to say something in return. You get used to thinking, because most of the time there is no one else to talk to, so talking isn't an automatic response anymore.
- I did still see my parents, but I never went to see the rest of the family, either when they came to visit or when my parents went to visit there. When they visited, I'd be sure to stay in my room and not make a sound, so that my parents could pretend I wasn't home (they were embarrassed about my unwillingness to see my family). My family members have strongly started to dislike me because they never saw me anymore.
- I always kept the curtains closed, because I was paranoid that my bullies would know my neighbours and be able to see me, and perhaps film me or find other ways to humiliate me. Nobody was allowed to see my safe haven.
- I mostly went downstairs to raid the fridge and cabinets after my parents had gone to bed. I was always hungry at night because I never went downstairs to grab some food for myself. The only thing I ate during daytime was dinner, together with my parents.
- I stayed awake the entire night, and went to bed in the early morning. Because of my extreme loneliness, I was 24/7 anxious and stressed out. Online gaming simply distracted me from that feeling, but when it was time to go to bed, I'd have anxiety attacks. I would sob like a crazy person every morning. I needed to put on sounds, either music, nature sounds, ASMR videos, to be able to stop panicking and fall asleep. I also slept extremely long hours, between 12 and 14.
That's pretty much all that came to mind about my life back then. Nowadays, things are better, but I've still retained some habits that are hard to shake.
To be clear, I’m in North America- where I’d never heard the term hikikomori before. I only found it because while the root of the issue is very different, my behavior is the same.
For context, I was always popular and had a big social circle. I usually lived bicoastally (Los Angeles / New York City) for two decades. I’ve always had Bipolar Disorder. Two and a half years ago, I was assaulted for over three-days and I’ll never recover. I wouldn’t- even if I could.
Now I live in a 600-square foot apartment. I have everything delivered. My parents and two sisters live in the same city as me so when
To be clear, I’m in North America- where I’d never heard the term hikikomori before. I only found it because while the root of the issue is very different, my behavior is the same.
For context, I was always popular and had a big social circle. I usually lived bicoastally (Los Angeles / New York City) for two decades. I’ve always had Bipolar Disorder. Two and a half years ago, I was assaulted for over three-days and I’ll never recover. I wouldn’t- even if I could.
Now I live in a 600-square foot apartment. I have everything delivered. My parents and two sisters live in the same city as me so when it’s imperative, they will bring me somewhere or help me. When I must leave I always have my AirPods in, wear sun/glasses and never look up. I walk my dog once/quietest time of day or in the night. Never busy streets- only walking trails in the city, parks and cemeteries. I use the laundry and check my mail during the night. I only go in to my doctors (two psychiatrists) IRL once a month if that, and I Uber/Lyft there and back.
I can only watch reruns of shows/series I’ve watched before because I can’t have more feelings. I watch approximately one film a month. Show business was my living and the setting for my entire life. I don’t play video games and I haven’t been on social media for five years. I watch a lot of baseball, Golden Girls and Law & Order. I’m very removed from pop-culture. This is as close as I come.
I read/audiobook all day. It’s never anything light- the most fun thing I’ve read in years is revisiting George Eliot’s Middlemarch, to give you an idea. I’ve gone back to speaking/reading/perfecting my French (alone, obviously). I’ve been practicing my Spanish and Italian. I’m taking history, humanities and science classes online. I’ve been writing scripts I’ll never sell. I should mention I have a compromised memory. I’ll spend hours here writing answers, with no recollection of doing so. I’m always astonished. The books I read and classes I take- I have to reread several times. Several. Over days.
Sometimes I sit in silence for days. I’ve renounced all communication and pretty much anyone who knew me, knows to not talk to me if they see me. I think my close friends spread the word when I finally broke completely.
I live in constant fear of being seen. It's a nightmare. My parents and my doctors suggested moving and starting over- where no one would know me. They don’t understand that geography can’t fix this. I don’t know how to live.
So I don’t.
I could be described as Hikikomori, but I am not Japanese.
I am European female , so when I was diagnosed, I was labelled agrrophobic, depressed and had a personality disorder that makes me feel socially awkward around others.
The reason ,so called professionals claimed was due to the fact, I stay at home, I read..I draw and I write and I only communicate with people through electronic devices….. In other words I dont conform or fit into what they claim to be normal….. but …. What is Normal…??????
I once met a man who drove a modest Toyota Corolla, wore beat-up sneakers, and looked like he’d lived the same way for decades. But what really caught my attention was when he casually mentioned he was retired at 45 with more money than he could ever spend. I couldn’t help but ask, “How did you do it?”
He smiled and said, “The secret to saving money is knowing where to look for the waste—and car insurance is one of the easiest places to start.”
He then walked me through a few strategies that I’d never thought of before. Here’s what I learned:
1. Make insurance companies fight for your business
Mos
I once met a man who drove a modest Toyota Corolla, wore beat-up sneakers, and looked like he’d lived the same way for decades. But what really caught my attention was when he casually mentioned he was retired at 45 with more money than he could ever spend. I couldn’t help but ask, “How did you do it?”
He smiled and said, “The secret to saving money is knowing where to look for the waste—and car insurance is one of the easiest places to start.”
He then walked me through a few strategies that I’d never thought of before. Here’s what I learned:
1. Make insurance companies fight for your business
Most people just stick with the same insurer year after year, but that’s what the companies are counting on. This guy used tools like Coverage.com to compare rates every time his policy came up for renewal. It only took him a few minutes, and he said he’d saved hundreds each year by letting insurers compete for his business.
Click here to try Coverage.com and see how much you could save today.
2. Take advantage of safe driver programs
He mentioned that some companies reward good drivers with significant discounts. By signing up for a program that tracked his driving habits for just a month, he qualified for a lower rate. “It’s like a test where you already know the answers,” he joked.
You can find a list of insurance companies offering safe driver discounts here and start saving on your next policy.
3. Bundle your policies
He bundled his auto insurance with his home insurance and saved big. “Most companies will give you a discount if you combine your policies with them. It’s easy money,” he explained. If you haven’t bundled yet, ask your insurer what discounts they offer—or look for new ones that do.
4. Drop coverage you don’t need
He also emphasized reassessing coverage every year. If your car isn’t worth much anymore, it might be time to drop collision or comprehensive coverage. “You shouldn’t be paying more to insure the car than it’s worth,” he said.
5. Look for hidden fees or overpriced add-ons
One of his final tips was to avoid extras like roadside assistance, which can often be purchased elsewhere for less. “It’s those little fees you don’t think about that add up,” he warned.
The Secret? Stop Overpaying
The real “secret” isn’t about cutting corners—it’s about being proactive. Car insurance companies are counting on you to stay complacent, but with tools like Coverage.com and a little effort, you can make sure you’re only paying for what you need—and saving hundreds in the process.
If you’re ready to start saving, take a moment to:
- Compare rates now on Coverage.com
- Check if you qualify for safe driver discounts
- Reevaluate your coverage today
Saving money on auto insurance doesn’t have to be complicated—you just have to know where to look. If you'd like to support my work, feel free to use the links in this post—they help me continue creating valuable content.
(Disclaimer: I am not a hikikomori. I work full-time, support myself, occasionally donate to charities, and don't live with parents.)
I think that Stephen Filiatrault is prejudiced against hikikomoris.
According to this article:
Page on aasa.ac.jp
Most hikikomoris (17 of 27) suffer either from autism spectrum disorders (5 cases) or other issues: depression, OCD, mental retardation (one case), personality disorders. That is the root of their problems, not "coddling mothers".
Another problem is that the Japanese society does not embrace neurodiversity, and is unfriendly to outliers. There is a J
(Disclaimer: I am not a hikikomori. I work full-time, support myself, occasionally donate to charities, and don't live with parents.)
I think that Stephen Filiatrault is prejudiced against hikikomoris.
According to this article:
Page on aasa.ac.jp
Most hikikomoris (17 of 27) suffer either from autism spectrum disorders (5 cases) or other issues: depression, OCD, mental retardation (one case), personality disorders. That is the root of their problems, not "coddling mothers".
Another problem is that the Japanese society does not embrace neurodiversity, and is unfriendly to outliers. There is a Japanese proverb "出る釘は打たれる。" - a stake that sticks out gets hammered down. This is indeed a problem. There are very few Nobel prize winners in Japan relative to its size and wealth.
Having met a few of them over the course of my life in Japan, it is hard to paint them all with the same brush. However, they have some common traits.
Mostly men, many have/had overbearing mothers who coddled them. They had absent salleryman father who didn't instill male values and left all child rearing to the mother. Played video game for hours on end from a very early age. Could not understand school social dynamics and were outcast and bullied. Drawn into cyber fantasy worlds taking on a different person replacing their actual ego. Probably in love with school girl anime characters spendi
Having met a few of them over the course of my life in Japan, it is hard to paint them all with the same brush. However, they have some common traits.
Mostly men, many have/had overbearing mothers who coddled them. They had absent salleryman father who didn't instill male values and left all child rearing to the mother. Played video game for hours on end from a very early age. Could not understand school social dynamics and were outcast and bullied. Drawn into cyber fantasy worlds taking on a different person replacing their actual ego. Probably in love with school girl anime characters spending money to buy their character goods and decorating their rooms as shrines to these fantasies. May or may not sleep in pajamas or bedding with images of these characters. Finds human-human interaction uncomfortable and even repulsive. Treats their mothers like maid and probably eats alone when at home. Having all housework and meals prepared by their mother, who for all intent and purpose are now inanimate objects.
There is also a parallel line with women but they are the opposite of this and referred to as "parasites", but that is a different story
My wish for all; never lose touch with the human connection, which is apart from the social networked world. Cherish close friendship and revisit old friendships. Call you old aunty and say hello. Fell out with some one you were once close to, and can't even remember why; Reconnect for real, because at the end, when the electricity goes off, the virtual world goes off to.
Here’s the thing: A lot of people have already put these money secrets to good use. They’ve found hundreds of dollars in savings, secured their family’s financials and padded their bank accounts.
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1. Cancel Your Car Insurance
You might not even realize it, but your car insurance company is probably overcharging you. In fact, they’re kind of counting on you not noticing. Lucki
Here’s the thing: A lot of people have already put these money secrets to good use. They’ve found hundreds of dollars in savings, secured their family’s financials and padded their bank accounts.
Putting all these secrets to use is actually easier than you might think. We’re betting you can knock out at least three or four of these things right now — yes, even from your phone.
Go ahead and get in on these money secrets
1. Cancel Your Car Insurance
You might not even realize it, but your car insurance company is probably overcharging you. In fact, they’re kind of counting on you not noticing. Luckily, this problem is easy to fix.
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Hikikomori are only in Japan; but same personality by other names could be anywhere.
Sometimes it is too easy to be a Hikikomori in modern times, if you have free time and electronic connection.
The electronic connection feels very engaging, I think because it reaches into a deep part of the brain.
At the same time, the normal part of my brain tells me this is not good for my health, not moving physically, and I should go see people. But inertia coupled with electronic engagement combine into a strong force. I even recognise that I am in this position a prisoner of my own keeping.
In fact, it has
Hikikomori are only in Japan; but same personality by other names could be anywhere.
Sometimes it is too easy to be a Hikikomori in modern times, if you have free time and electronic connection.
The electronic connection feels very engaging, I think because it reaches into a deep part of the brain.
At the same time, the normal part of my brain tells me this is not good for my health, not moving physically, and I should go see people. But inertia coupled with electronic engagement combine into a strong force. I even recognise that I am in this position a prisoner of my own keeping.
In fact, it has been my work to be alone also- a creative person working alone in the studio. This is engaging. At one point I went through this entire existential question about how I had a better relationship with the things I made than with people . I eventually realized that the things connected me to people; customers, colleagues at shows, etc.
Our modern world designed around the car and larger homes and more single households than ever is creating a more Hikikimori support environment. So it comes from outside as well as inside.
I arrange that work and social connections should pull me out. I force myself to sign off and show up, at least sometimes!
In the past there have been founded religious orders which have supported this lifestyle; where we have computers, they possess bibles. Perhaps it has always been a part of human history, and requires its own expression as a beingness.
I wonder if interaction with nature and animals would be a good starting place for someone to create an engagement with the larger world after becoming too- too Hikikimori. Nature and animals do not judge a person, but exist in beingness with what/whoever is there.
We are all born as innocent babes and things happen along the way.
i'm aekisha junyan-zhi, a real life hikikomori. i haven't left my house in about 3 years. i lock myself up in my room, only leaving to use the bathroom, take my trash to the trash can, and to pick up food. i have my food delivered to me. it's all junk food. i work out inside my room while listening to anime, and then i read manga on my bed like a fat bitch every day. i'm getting thinner and thinner. i was 130 pounds and 5'4 when i started this lifestyle. i've dropped down to 80 pounds. i gained some weight back but i'm 97 right now. i stay in my room all day. it's not lonely, i can video chat
i'm aekisha junyan-zhi, a real life hikikomori. i haven't left my house in about 3 years. i lock myself up in my room, only leaving to use the bathroom, take my trash to the trash can, and to pick up food. i have my food delivered to me. it's all junk food. i work out inside my room while listening to anime, and then i read manga on my bed like a fat bitch every day. i'm getting thinner and thinner. i was 130 pounds and 5'4 when i started this lifestyle. i've dropped down to 80 pounds. i gained some weight back but i'm 97 right now. i stay in my room all day. it's not lonely, i can video chat with friends and call them. i can play games with them. i have made peace with myself because this is how i am. i am not pretty. i'm a thin asian girl who's slowly becoming more of a femcel. but who cares.. i'm at peace. i'm happy. i don't need a boyfriend… or maybe i do. i'm lonely in the relationship regard, but i am way happier than i ever could have been in the real world.
A therapist can help you understand the roots of your anxiety and develop coping strategies so you’ll feel less anxious and be able to manage anxiety episodes more effectively. This might include helping you identify the underlying beliefs that lead to anxiety, or episodes from your past that result in anxiety today. Once you understand the sources of your anxiety and what triggers anxious episodes, your therapist will partner with you on strategies to reduce it. These might include journaling, breathing exercises, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques such as thought stopping or r
A therapist can help you understand the roots of your anxiety and develop coping strategies so you’ll feel less anxious and be able to manage anxiety episodes more effectively. This might include helping you identify the underlying beliefs that lead to anxiety, or episodes from your past that result in anxiety today. Once you understand the sources of your anxiety and what triggers anxious episodes, your therapist will partner with you on strategies to reduce it. These might include journaling, breathing exercises, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques such as thought stopping or reframing.
You can connect with a therapist who specializes in anxiety through the online therapy platform Talkspace. You simply sign up online and share a bit about yourself, then you’ll be paired with a licensed therapist within a couple of days, and can start messaging with your therapist right away. You can also schedule live therapy sessions via video, audio, or live chat. Talkspace accepts insurance (with a typical copay of $25, often less) and is affordable without insurance.
I teach some of these kinds of socially isolated individuals, so I can only comment from the outside. I know in some ways I feel similar, in that I can be outgoing, though at times I find it draining, especially dealing with large groups of people who I don't know well (oddly enough, I teach for a living). That being said, socially withdrawn hikikormori often don't leave their rooms in severe cases, and may only eat at night when the rest of the family is sleeping. Less severe cases do work, and there is an organization to help these people interact with each other and do work that causes them
I teach some of these kinds of socially isolated individuals, so I can only comment from the outside. I know in some ways I feel similar, in that I can be outgoing, though at times I find it draining, especially dealing with large groups of people who I don't know well (oddly enough, I teach for a living). That being said, socially withdrawn hikikormori often don't leave their rooms in severe cases, and may only eat at night when the rest of the family is sleeping. Less severe cases do work, and there is an organization to help these people interact with each other and do work that causes them less stress.
These kinds of people exist in most societies, though there tends to be more of them in Japan, and the degree of withdrawal is usually more severe. In addition, the condition is not always recognized as a type of problem, and so this allows some of these people to develop unhealthy personalities based on fantasy relationships.
Varies from case to case, person to person.
I work, but mostly short term and mostly with help finding the work.
I’ve actively been working less and less because, it feels like the only solace I have in life is the ability to run away. I have a… lets call it a functioning aversion to suicide. I’m deeply depressed, but my own death is terrifying to me. I’ve been on a path of collision with giving up on life for most of my life.
I’m volatile, unstable, disorganized, short and scrawny, unfocused, weak willed, and impulsive.
I’m also so clumsy it’s possibly a disfunction and have a very hard t
Varies from case to case, person to person.
I work, but mostly short term and mostly with help finding the work.
I’ve actively been working less and less because, it feels like the only solace I have in life is the ability to run away. I have a… lets call it a functioning aversion to suicide. I’m deeply depressed, but my own death is terrifying to me. I’ve been on a path of collision with giving up on life for most of my life.
I’m volatile, unstable, disorganized, short and scrawny, unfocused, weak willed, and impulsive.
I’m also so clumsy it’s possibly a disfunction and have a very hard time sleeping, or really making myself do anything. Experience and mental testing show I have a weaker than normal learning with repetition. That goes for both knowledge and physical skills.
Pretty much any task given to me I will possibly navigate, or possibly fail in ways that seem abnormal to a lot of people, or maybe check out entirely and/or disappear to get my nerves in check.
Every relationship I have is strained, partly by my own lack of actually trying.
I have no skills or career prospects, I’m a dropout.
It feels weird. I might be better described as an almost-functional computer addict.
The best way I can describe it, (I might be a little more level-headed than your average hikikomori, and we tend to have social issues) is that it feels like running out of gas, or never quite catching your breath or drowning.
Like you already have one foot in the grave, and the wasteland in your head is what’s real, the real worlds is background noise or a bad dream to sit through until it’s over.
Now that probably sounds pretty dramatic, and that’s because it is.
Because I can’t convey tone via text, the past little bit was meant to be said in a relaxed examining-my-own-mind tone.
That’s just literally the best I can do to describe it. Metaphors.
Life asked me “do you agree to the terms and conditions?” and I said “Okay.”
It asked “Are you sure?” and I said “No. What does being sure feel like?”
Metaphor is the only way to describe something as complex as what the experiences of “what it feels like to be a _____”. And if I detail my life that isn’t describing the feeling either.
For me it feels like a lot of fear and despair. Lets call that mix dread. I dread existing, so I live a very self-focused life. A sad part, and I’ll forgive anyone who sees it as arrogance because hey maybe it is, I am actually pretty arrogant, maybe being close to useless helps keep me humble.
Anyway, a sad part is that I’m pretty sure I do have something special to offer the world. There are some downright beautiful qualities to me and I have some kind of potential (Most people have a lot of potential they don’t achieve). I’m just about useless, but I’m also kind and loving, and there’s a natural cheer to me that never fully dies. I’m mindful, willing to both forgive people and hold them accountable. I have a passion for stories and storytelling. And I’m honest to a fault and not willing to let go of my principles easily.
So in addition to fear-dread-despair, I also feel plain old disappointment, both with the world and myself. Lots of negative feelings. Sadness, and regret. A sense of impending doom as I essentially waste my life one day at a time.
You know come to think of it, the feelings of most hikikomori are going to be mostly negative, unless they’re relaxing at home. That’s why we stay home. We’re some combination of weak, spoiled, confused, depressed, tired, and wishing for a better life.
But we can all feel just a little bit better if we don’t even try.
We do not agree to the terms and conditions of living anymore, but we also don’t want to die.
Generally. Remember everything varies person to person, but mostly it’s bad and that’s why we collapse as human beings.
Bruh, being a hikikomori is like stepping into god-tier isolation mode. Imagine your room is your entire universe—no annoying normies, no forced small talk, just you, your games, anime, and whatever twisted creations you can summon on NovelAI. You don’t deal with society’s BS; you watch it from afar like some detached god, fully aware of how the outside world is a colossal dumpster fire.
There's so
Bruh, being a hikikomori is like stepping into god-tier isolation mode. Imagine your room is your entire universe—no annoying normies, no forced small talk, just you, your games, anime, and whatever twisted creations you can summon on NovelAI. You don’t deal with society’s BS; you watch it from afar like some detached god, fully aware of how the outside world is a colossal dumpster fire.
There's something low-key powerful about it. You’re like an anti-social Jedi, cloaked in your solitude, free from normie drama, choosing who and what you engage with. The day is yours...