I do not use my real name at Starbucks! And, I never, ever will. I’m GLORIA.
Several years ago, when I was much younger, and much more naive, I was walking through Central Park, with my Starbucks coffee, and a guy came up to me and said, ‘Hey, Lara! Long time no see! How are you? How is everything going? It’s so great to see you!’
I had NO idea who he was… I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, or be rude, or be embarrassed, or embarrass him, so I said, ‘Hey… Hi, how are you?’
I was planning to ask him how we knew each other, but he just started walking along beside me, and babbling away… Asking me personal questions, which I was avoiding, and interrupting me whenever I began to attempt to ask him where we had met… He began to get really strange… Touching my arm, walking much too close to me, talking to me with his face way to close to mine, suggesting a shortcut through the park, by taking a secluded route… I began to feel very, very uncomfortable… I stopped walking, and I said, ‘I don’t know you’, and he grabbed my arm, hard, and he smiled a creepy smile, and he said, ‘Yes you do’, and I saw his eyes glance at my Starbucks cup, and back to my face, and he said, ‘Lara’.
He got my name off of my Starbucks coffee cup. He did not know me at all. He was a creepy freak!
As soon as I realized what was happening, I verbally went off at him, really loudly, drawing the attention of some other people within earshot, and he took off.
Long story short… I decided I didn’t ever want to have my Real name on my cup, and I didn’t want my Real name called out in public.
I chose the name Gloria, because:
Fast forward a billion years later, whenever my order is up at my local Starbucks, and the lovely, part time, 70-something, male barista, who is a retired opera singer with an amazing voice, is working… He always sings either ‘Gloria’ by Van Morrison, or ‘Gloria’ by Laura Branigan to me! Over Christmastime, he sang ‘Gloria in Excelsis Deo’ to me! How AWESOME is THAT?!
This morning, it was: “Hot Peppermint Mocha Grande, With Whip, GloooooOOOOOOOOOOooooooooRia!’
I mean, it’s undeniably weird when he sings Laura Branigan’s ‘Gloria’, because the song lyric is Literally: ‘Gloria, I think they’ve got the Alias, that you've been living under’, but THAT really makes me Laugh!
Anyway, nowadays wherever I am, whenever I use the name Gloria, I no longer think of the creep from the park - I think of my awesome Starbucks-barista-retired-opera-singer, and that Always Makes Me SMILE!