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“I don’t love you, and I don’t think I ever really did”

That was from my best friend in the world; the woman that I had been madly in love with for 4 years.

She was drop-dead gorgeous, and even though my first impression was that she “wasn’t my type”, she definitely caught my attention when I first saw her in a room filled with almost 300 other people.

As soon as we met, we became “joined at the hip”… went everywhere, did everything, together: BFFs. Within 3 months, I was hopelessly in love.

The relationship evolved over the next 3 years, and we decided to get married. Though marriage was in large part her idea, I was still honored that this beautiful, intelligent woman wanted me. I was committed to spending the rest of my life with her.

I had put all of my life’s plans on hold for her. Instead of going to graduate school, or pursuing career-track employment, I was going to take some piss-ant local job to pay the bills while she finished her last year of school. That’s what you’re supposed to do when you love someone.

Four years I listened to her say, “I love you so much… don’t ever leave me… I couldn’t live without you”.

Then out of nowhere, about 3 months before the wedding… blind-sided, I got, “we can’t get married… we can’t be together anymore: I don’t love you, and I don’t think I ever really did”.

Really, four years to figure that out ??

“I don’t love you, and I don’t think I ever really did”. Roughly translated, she was telling me that as far as she was concerned, our entire four year relationship, all of our plans for the future, and all of my feelings for her, were nothing more than a meaningless waste of time.

It was crushing… the absolute most hurtful thing that anyone ever said to me.

Here’s a bit more about Dani and my time with her: Quora User's answer to What is the meanest thing your mother in-law did to you?

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