My first husband, my son's father, was addicted to cocaine. It was similar to a tragic lifetime movie. He was physically abusive and put us in financial ruin, and I would fix it. I would forgive him and my cuts and bruises would heal. We were a sad cliche and my child was growing up in a horrible life.
One day I woke up, and saw my husband standing over my child and I with a baseball bat. I asked him what he was doing and he said, calmly and matter of factly, "I was going to kill you and our son and then myself, so we can all be together."I suddenly heard this pop. I will tell you what that was later.
I told my husband don't be silly, everything is going to be fine, and gave him 40 dollars to buy me a carton of cigarettes, (knowing he would never return with cigs or money, he was an addict). I packed for my son and I and went to a neighbors to call my family. I had to promise them it was the last time and I really meant to leave him, to save my son.
He came home as I waited for my brother to pick us up. I said, "Honey, Cj and I are leaving for the weekend to visit my dad. Here's fifty bucks, please don't hock and pawn everything." He was pleased to have the cash and couldn't wait to cop more dope. "We will see you Monday."

He called me Monday to, tell me, "I'm really sorry and missed you guys but I pawned the car, TVs, VCRs and sold some furniture. When are you coming home?" I said, "I love you but I love our son more and we can't come home. When you are clean you can take him fishing and hang out with him for summers and weekends but you have to get clean."

That pop I heard, was me pulling my head out of my ass. I realized, my kid should have a shot at a happy life and so should I. No matter what, we had to go. Three months later, my husband killed himself.