What are some good advice for dating a lady?

Don’t act like a simp/cuck, they can smell that a mile away and your relationship will never progress beyond YOU paying for stuff.

NEVER show how interested you are unless marriage is on the table. Until you get to this point, most people seem to assume that sex with random strangers is okay.

In reference to the previous point, establish ground rules. If it’s okay to see other people, MAKE A POINT OF DATING AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, SHE’S NOT THAT INTO YOU!!!

Be respectful. Everyone has feelings, make sure you don’t hurt them.

Protect yourself. If she’s a ‘ho, walk away.

Don’t be afraid to commit. If she’s worth it, the risk is worth it too. Love is awesome and everyone should experience it at least once in their lives.

If she is a proper lady - manners, manners, manners - please, thank you etc

If she is a proper lady she will always make an effort so should you

If she is a proper lady she will be good conversation, appreciate it

Discreetly find out her favourite meal, drink and nibbles

ALWAYS be punctual

NEVER harass her through the bathroom door

Don’t give away her secrets

When you are intimate always, always. always take off your socks first. Nothing is more ridiculous or kills romance quicker than a men clad in just his socks, the physical side of some relationships never entirely recovers from the memory of such a sight

Once you are intimate find out her sizes, put them on a small card and always carry it around in case there is something you can get her

“The verbal handshake” - when you meet her say Good Morning (or whatever time it is), meet her gaze and smile.

When you ask her how she is expect her to answer and listen

Ask her what she wants to do, ask her opinions

If you compliment, really mean it and have reasons

Do not criticise or contradict - that does not mean a door mat, there are ways eg “I want to kill my Dad”, “Well I can quite understand why you might want to do that, but have you considered how much time you might spend in gaol…

1. Never go to the movies. You finally got the date you wanted, do you really want to spend two hours of it in silence?
2. Wear cologne.
3. Arriving ten minutes early is better than one second late.
4. Shut up and listen. Nod, smile, be humble and ask questions about your date. This is not about you.
5. Sit next to each other rather than opposite of each other with a table in between.
6. Make them laugh by telling a joke about yourself.
7. If they are worth it, don’t kiss them on the first date.
8. Don’t give up all your secrets on your first night out together. Keep something that will surprise them in the future.
9. Don’t stare at the other good looking person passing by.
10. Pay the bill.

Suppose you work out who you should pretend to be in order to attract a partner. You go out, you meet someone, and you spend a lot of effort at pretending to be that person.

It's a success! You develop a successful relationship. You both start to talk about commitment, settling down together, maybe having a family.

There's a catch, though. Your see, your partner believes you too be an entirely different person. That means you need to keep up the pretence.

All day, every day and never slip. You need to live a lie. You try. It exhausts you, and grinds you down to misery.

Now, it is a good idea to go to effort to work on yourself. To embody the things you value in life, and become the person you want to be. This will not only help your attract someone who is attracted to those same values, but it will also help you to feel more complete and awesome all by yourself.

If you never find partner, you will likelier still be much happier by yourself than if you become someone you dislike.

It is far, far easier to find a partner that appreciates you for the person you are, than to pretend to be someone else and find a partner that is a bad fit for you.

Some dating advice for women:

1. Try to understand him

Many girls are not feeling that the boy they like has actually feelings for them,in many cases that's completely not true! Boys are expressing themselves through actions, so pay attention if he shows any signs of liking you

2. Compliment him

Boys are not usually complimented. So if a girl compliments him it will be more special.Make him feel good with himself

3. Make him feel needed

It takes a lot for a boy to be secure in his relationship. If you make him feel needed then he will be less angry if you spend time with other boys because he know that you need him.

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| Namaskaram |

Lessons in L.O.V.E feat. S.H.R.E.K

The other day, they were showing Shrek on TV! Understandably, not only did I watch it with the widest grin plastered across my face, I even sobbed hysterically during the more enlightening scenes.

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I'd always pictured myself as a donkey, given that we both share uncanny toothy smiles and will gladly indulge you with the poorest jokes in the room.

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But, it turns out that I'm partially Shrek and mostly Fiona!

Like them, I grew up painfully ashamed of my own self and the realities of my roots.

Naturally, I shielded my authenticity from society lest I’d be ostracized for being “not much like others!”

While I played this role flawlessly, I swear I never found happiness in love or life until the day I decided to stop running from who I was deep within, and instead, resolved to accept myself with love and humility.

As we all know, never has anyone who hasn’t truly loved themselves ever found someone to love them truly!

Some are born an ogre, while others are cursed to become one!

Whatever is your story…

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L says Love Thyself!

I specialized in rather superficial romantic associations, which ‘beautifully’ reflected in my choice of attractive yet reckless partners.

‘Twas all fun and games until, much to my helplessness, an unwavering desire to connect on a deeper level with someone began popping up in my heart.

Sadly, the more I attempted to shed my layers, one at a time, in an effort to be accepted and experience the bliss of reciprocity, the more my partners were repulsed by my ogre-ness!

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I assume that because I was so fiercely opposed to the part of me that I so vehemently suppressed, I unwittingly picked out those who were as repulsed by my ogre-ness as I was.

Self-Acceptance is inevitable!

It's crucial to appreciate yourself and nurture yourself with the respect that all good folk deserve.

Eventually, it will bring you into the company of wonderful persons who will sincerely embrace you for who you are.

O says “Out with the old and in with the you!”

Self-identity is the apex of who we select to stay with.

People perceive you the way you perceive yourself.

Your truth is your shadow. It'll follow you your entire life, and you simply can't escape it.

To change your shadow, you must change your body (physical, mental, emotional, and, spiritual.)

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If your body (physical, mental, emotional, and, spiritual,) is a source of guilt and shame for you, it's likely that you'll draw people who will not only serve as a constant reminder of your self-disgust, but will also exploit and abuse your wellbeing.

Simply learn to be at ease in your own flesh. Teach yourself to accept it, whatever it may be!

The rungs of self-identity must inevitably include self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence.

It's alright to battle with finding yourself for a while, but not indefinitely.

V says Vulnerability is Valuable; Vulnerability takes Strength

Shrek's story highlights the necessity for finding the faith within oneself to give life a second chance.

This demands opening up to fresh perspectives which will utterly upend your comfort zone.

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If Shrek wants to find love, he will have to give up a great deal of things, including his passion for reclusion, his general distaste for society and its customs, and his ultimate disappointment at how horribly he is misunderstood!

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The same is true for Fiona; she must also get over her false perceptions of beauty and her fantasy that her knight in shining armor will one day arrive to restore her.

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Communication is key.

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I believe Shrek and Fiona could’ve saved themselves much heartache had they simply been willing to listen to each other instead of playing on their egos and acting petty to spite the other.

Speaking up about one's worries and fears is helpful in furthering intimate romance and partnership.

Discernment comes with experience. So, don’t beat yourself up over the rotten eggs you once chose

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If you never open up because you're afraid of jeopardizing your security, you'll never be exposed to the probable affections that would've otherwise come to you.

Life will teach you harsh lessons, that's the innate nature of life. Escapism and bundling up behind self-constructed high walls, fearing past experiences or the unknown, is lackadaisical and an exercise devoid of real pleasure.

Move on if your gut tells you that you can't have a raw, unfiltered, heart-to-heart conversation with the person sitting across from you.

E says Experience the Bliss of Surrender

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Just go with the flow. Put yourself out there. Be willing to take a risk and hold an open mind.

Dragon and donkey are excellent examples of this; they both have unrestrictive perspectives on love.

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One day, love will come to you!

However, you must choose to expose yourself to it, in some capacity.

“Shine your weird light so another weirdo can find you,” as they say.

Do not let past trauma define you. Give yourself another opportunity.

It took me about 9 years of conscious singledom to realize I'd been kissing frogs and cussing them all the while, without recognizing that I'd been living in a well all along!

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Well, all’s well that ends well!

| saubhāgyam |

First, be whole and complete and content AS a single woman.

Because while the biochemical “high” of the honeymoon phase is truly exciting, it never lasts .. and if we were not happy before we met our partner, we end up even MORE unhappy once the honeymoon phase has died out.

Also because, the more content we are with ourselves and ourlife, the less desperate, needy, clingy we are … and men HATE that in a woman. Except for men who like to control, and even abuse women … THEY want a needy woman.

The second piece of advice is to NOT mistake the chemistry for love. It is just a temporary phase and we may not even LIKE the other person once our biochemical “high” over them has died out. And “in love” is NOT love, is nothing like love, and the stronger it is at first, the worse the relationship ends up being.

It takes at least 6 months to start to know the person behind the social/dating mask, and up to 2 years of steady dating to have a fairly-good idea of who they are, whether or not they ARE relationship-worthy, whether or not you can tolerate their flaws … and to gain a sense of whether or not this might last.

You get this knowledge from spending time with them in person, several times a week over a couple of years. Being part of their life and them being part of your life. Seeing how they treat others, how well they handle frustration and annoyance and fear, seeing how honest they are in all situations. Observing if they can get along with family members, and how their parents get along. And seeing how well they take responsibility for their own actions and emotions, or if they are always blaming others/situations. Someone who complains a lot about their ex … well, that says as much about their own emotional health as it says about the health of their ex (since our subconscious seeks what it is familiar with, we never get together with someone who is more emotionally healthy than we ourselves are).

An emotionally whole and healthy woman takes about 6 months of steady in-person dating before she knows if she is serious about the guy. And an emotionally whole and healthy guy takes about 12 months to reach the same conclusion .. So unless the woman is already content, that extra 6 months of waiting for him to MAYBE catch up is going to drive her crazy .. and maybe drive him away too.

The purpose of dating is to find out whether you and your date are compatible with each other. You can’t do that if you’re lying about who you are.

When you pretend to be someone you’re not, or pretend to have interests you don’t have, or pretend to like things you don’t really like, what next? What’s your master plan? Keep pretending for the rest of your life? Complain because your partner doesn’t get you, keeps doing things you aren’t interested in, and is always doing things you don’t like?

The more authentic you are, the easier it is to find someone who is a good fit for you, and the mite likely it is you’ll have a life you actually enjoy.

I really like Peter Wheeler’s answer, so “DITTO” and add these thoughts if you like.

My experience as a 62 y.o. man married for 40+ years is that very few people (men or women) truly know themselves - their identity, their destiny, their needs, their dreams, their assets, and their ability to devote themselves to “mutual benefit” of another person.

The attributes of honesty, curiosity, flexibility, patience, tenacity are vital in building an authentic relationship. Meeting up with someone who wants to learn life together in an honest and honorable way is a great starting point. Women your age who “have it together” should be prepared to disclose and discuss who they truly are and the dreams they carry for a great life.

However, most have a dream held as an undisclosed inner movie that consists of “shorts” or “outtakes” about how they will be seen, courted, appreciated, cherished, supported, protected, respected, etc. When they meet someone, they begin playing one of the roles in a scene from their dreamscape - and see if their new suitor arises to play his given role.

While this seems cool (it is the substance of “and they lived happily ever after…”), chances are, there is no man alive who has seen that movie - and thus will go off script from time to time.

Here’s an example:

Married for 6 months, we lived in an ideal location in a newly constructed apartment furnished with new items and wedding gifts. My work day ended every day precisely at 4PM, and I was home by 4.45. We laughed, played, cooked, shopped, prayed, and loved together with joy.

One day, I returned home to a woman in tears, who could not be comforted. She announced that I did not love her! The evidence “You do not call me to talk each day during lunch!”

We never discussed that expectation - even obliquely. Her undisclosed movie about love ran a noon-time episode every day where she sat beside the phone awaiting a call where the progress of the morning, plan for the afternoon, matters of the homefront, and numerous sweet nothings would be exchanged. Obviously, I had gone “off-script” - and had not shown up to play my assigned role.

Nearly all of my “shortcomings” as husband, lover, and father through the years have similarly arisen because she has a movie never discussed with me, but I can still be found at fault for not playing my part well.

But -we’ve learned to be more honest and gracious about needs and expectations, and even laugh when one of us goes “off-script” from time to time.

I hope you meet some great guys, who need great women to build an awesome life together.

Pray!

Be confident, respectful, trust yourself and simply do the first move !

I have a funny and instructive little story… My sister is considered to be a stunning young woman, fair-haired with wild green eyes. She looks like a Russian princess. Besides, she is a highly gifted student, and a soon-to-be MD. In a few words - a girl who is often considered to be “out of the league” by many boys.

(Yup, this kind of girl).

One day, while she was attending lessons for her driving licence, a chubby young guy, casually dressed but well-groomed, sat next to her. He wasn't really concentrated on the screen and security explanations, staring at my radiant sister in disbelief.

Finally, he choked : “I hope it is not inappropriate, but I would like to say you are very pretty - and I’m sure I would also say you are a nice person, if we exchanged a few words. Therefore, can I ask you for a coffee after the lesson ?”

My sister smiled. “Oh, I have a boyfriend actually (-which was true, BTW), so… I know you are a also a nice person and would love to know you, but it wouldn’t be appropriate for me.”

The guy seemed disappointed. “Oh, sorry I disturbed you then… I apologize.”

My sister smiled once more. “You didn’t bothered or disturbed me at all, you couldn’t know I wasn’t single! You did exactly the right thing - you weren’t creepy or authoritarian ! You appeared to be nice, respectful, and showed you were genuinely interested in me. You were confident enough to ask me for a coffee, and that’s great ! Besides you are very young - not many boys of your age approach me with this class, and there are plenty fish in the see ! So don’t be sad - instead, you should be proud of you, and try with the next girl you find attractive. You’re on your way !”

We talked about this incident later. My sister said that, even though this young man wasn’t as handsome as her then-boyfriend, she would have considered the date if she was single. She found him respectful and interesting. She also said that, as a woman, she was pleased by his kindness and appreciated his confidence. He wasn’t sure, he was afraid (she saw that), but he ACTED. And this fact was, in her mind, a sign of courage. Courage is to act in spite of fear or shyness. As such, she still remembers him as a fine and brave guy, and wished him well.

Conclusion ? Be confident, respectful, trust yourself - and do the first move.

If the girl rejects you even if you display the proper chivalry, she wasn’t worth your time anyway. A lady, even if she is not interested in dating, will be careful and will refuse with elegance and smoothness if she found you behaved properly ; she will do her best not to hurt you, but to actually encourage you.

Just try to be kind and brave.

You have nothing to fear and nothing to lose.

After years of observation, I can guess that probably the men who struggle with dating are the men who put women on a pedestal.

Those men get nervous around us, they lose their sense of humor that they had one second ago around the boys, they forget how to have normal conversations and they treats us nicer than they should (remember we like men who have a bad boy side to them too).

So here's my tip. “women are just human. They're not that special or complicated beings. We like someone we can talk to, connect and hang out with”.

Next time you approach a woman don't start thinking “she will never like me/how can I make her like me?”but instead flip it to “do I actually like her or is she just pretty?”. Once you start thinking like this you'll be reminded that just because she looks nice, it doesn't mean she's amazing or better than you. She's just as flawed as everyone else. It will ease the tension and it will help you become calmer/cooler. So instead of freaking out and calling her every day or becoming too talkative or too clingy, you'll naturally give her space and the chance to impress YOU instead.

It all starts mentally, treat her like a great option, but still AN OPTION. Don't like me? Cool that's okay a lot of other people will/do. Have a nice weekend. :) Also you need to have the mentality of “is she a good fit?” instead of “how am I going to impress her?”.

You are amazing too and you have a lot to offer. Keep reminding yourself of your good qualities daily. Relax, treat women as human (not some mythical goddesses) and you should be fine.

I hope that helps :)

I have used every possible kind of dating service possible, the free, the paid for - everything. I have met in my life probably 1500 different women. You can condemn me later for whatever reason, and you might be right in your criticism but that is not what this is about right now.

I have always been surprised, even shocked by how foolish some women in the online dating world can be. Online dating can be much like going to a bar to meet someone but in some ways it isn’t - at least in a bar, you can see whom you are talking to and you know at least that they are real people and so on. With online dating, you don’t really know anything.

When you make a profile, it asks you to describe yourself and put up a photo and often it asks for the town you live in. When making your profile use the next town over - never your real town. Never put in your exact profession. Never put in pictures of your kids and never name them. You want to meet someone but you must maintain your safety and privacy until strangers have earned your trust. With all the tools on the internet now, it is so simple for me to track down a woman who thinks she is anonymous on the internet because she doesn’t use her last name in her profile. It’s easy. And I’m not a stalker.

If you start meeting with someone, focus more on the “interests, hopes, and dreams”. Do not focus on occupation. Be vague about it until you get to know someone better. All relationship building is about trust and the more you reveal about the unimportant details of your life like location, job and so on, the more information you give to a person you shouldn’t trust who can use it to find out everything about you.

Spend as much time as you want chatting online. If you move to text or phone, remember that you’re giving your phone number away, a critical piece of safety information. Some women block the number so the recipient can’t see it. That’s just smart. If you text, you are extending a lot of trust credit to someone.

Remember: trust is like a credit card and if you extend too much too soon, you’re likely to get someone who will abuse and burn you. Trust is given in drops and lost in buckets. Make your potential partner earn every drop. Note that a lot of men online are married and looking for fun; some are picture collectors, some want phone/esex; some want a real relationship. In my worthless opinion, for ever 100 contacts, perhaps 1 will be someone you like and who likes you back. There are four potential situations: you like them, they don’t like you; they like you but you don’t like them; you both don’t like each other; you both like each other. The most desirable outcome, you both like each other, happens the least by far.

Most men you meet are going to be interested in sex. That doesn’t make them bad. It’s the way it is. You cannot judge them for that but you can judge them on how they act. If all they are after is sex they will be pushing hard early for it, for nudes, for esex, for meeting at a motel, etc. It’s okay to want sex: we are sexual creatures. But if you are looking for a relationship make sure you investigate the man’s motives because if he just wants fast sex, it will be apparent. In the old days when Craigslist still had Personals until the Republican FOSTA act put them out of business, “Casual Encounters” usually meant hookers; “Seeking Relationship” meant sex right away and “Strictly Platonic” meant sex after three dates. Being an expert at Craigslist in the old days, I can tell you this joke has a lot of truth to it.

You should agree to meet up sooner rather than later. You’re not looking for a penpal and unless the phone sex is amazing, you need to make it real. No matter how good he sounds, no matter how articulate, no matter how much his opinions mirror yours, you aren’t going to be able to make your choice till you meet. So save everyone some time and agree to meet. Meet at a public location. Take your own vehicle. Do not agree to be picked up anywhere or dropped off anywhere. Do not get walked home. Meet during regular hours where people can see you and where people can congregate.

Always Always Always let someone know where you are going and when you expect to be back. Make sure you leave a note on the table with whatever you know about this guy so that if you are abducted, or worse, killed, the police have leads. This is extreme but you need to think of your safety. “Expect the best but plan for the worst.”

Plan for a one hour coffee meeting. Don’t go out for drinks; don’t meet for dinner. The first meeting is not a date. It’s an interview. Meet at Starbucks, pay for your own coffee, don’t leave it unattended and then do your work. If you’ve reached this stage, the guy has something about him you like. Now you have to fit his physical appearance into your assessment. Believe me, for most people this is the critical moment. Most people know within 30 seconds if there is going to be another date and the only thing a partner who gets the nod can do is decrease his chances of a second date by talking or acting himself out of it. If you want a second date, be clear about it. Men are clumsy creatures and need explicit instructions. If he likes you, really likes you, he is going to be parsing everything you say and often taking the negative view. If you like him, be enthusiastic about a “real” date. It will be an enormous thing for him.

If you meet someone you like and you go on a few dates remember that this person is still more of a stranger than anything else. Keep extending trust in drops, expect an occasional pass and don’t be too judgemental about it - men can’t make progress without taking risks. You don’t have to cave and you don’t have to be a jerk. If you think there’s a chance of intimacy sometime down the road, tell him to be patient. If he’s cool, he’ll wait. It not, you’ve learned something important to add to your “discriminators”.

Do not be intimidated by people who tell you how to feel. I cannot tell you how many women can be browbeaten into dating someone they don’t like because they have been convinced that to not do it would make them “bad” or “racist” or “prejudiced against (fill in the blank)”. You have the absolute right to like or not like anyone you want to for any or no reason and you cannot be judged for that. Only go out with people who make you feel good about yourself and whom you actually like. Never be intimidated into dating people you don’t like because it “makes you look bad”. Forget that. Date whom you like.

If you meet someone and start dating, once you get to the intimacy part, it’s time to have a serious convo with yourself and them. If you are having sex you shouldn’t be kissing or dating anyone else any more and neither should they, unless you are both up front about the casual nature of the relationship. After a few months or an explicit agreement, you should disable your dating profile. Once you’re in a relationship you need to close your heart to other opportunities and focus on what’s in front of you.

One of the biggest pitfalls of online dating is “The Grass is Always Greener Syndrome”. The problem with online dating is that you can fall into the trap of “this guy is good but there MAY be someone better.” You can lose a good thing if you’re always searching. Settling for someone doesn’t mean settling for second best. It means you’ve found enough of what you need to be content. It doesn’t mean forever - it means for now. And if you are involved and getting intimate and becoming trust partners, then you need to think about stopping looking for “something better”. There are no perfect people or situations and if you keep looking, you can end up alone and wondering what happened. I am always struck by the story of the lonely man, dying on his deathbed having never found love. When they asked him why he never found the perfect girl, he told them he had - but she wouldn’t have him. She was looking for the perfect man.

Character tells and any man can fool you by his words. “Everyone lies,” says Dr. House on the television show. But character is hard to hide in actions. Note how someone treats the busboy, the waitress, the panhandler outside, even how he treats or talks about his family. Behavior speaks louder than words. If he shorts the tip or brags about shoplifting or other petty crimes/misdeeds then character is lacking. You need to find someone who mirrors your values. “Opposites attract” is bullshit. And make sure you don’t mistake verbal abuse for honesty. Many women are lulled into thinking that guys giving them shit are just being honest. You can be a bad person and be honest too. Never accept any kind of abuse, even as a joke. And remember: how he treats other people is how he is going to treat you in six months when the newness is gone.

Online dating is about safety first, building trust and accepting what you find if it’s good for you. If you don’t know what you’re goals are (casual sex, dating, marriage) and you don’t know what you really want, then it will be harder to find it. Make a list of all the things you want in a mate and prioritize, then look at the top ten. If you can get any five, you’re doing really well.

Online dating is convenient, fun and so easy and it can work if you are clear about your goals, open to exploration and changes to your mindset and if you are focused on the basics - safety and trust.

Use your common sense.

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Arrange to meet up as soon as possible. There are a lot of time wasters and scammers on line, meeting in person will weed those out.

Ask the awkward questions: Are you married? Are you sexually active? When did you last have an STI test? Are you kinky? Are you a Trump votor? Are you religious? Where do you stand on Roe v Wade?

There is no point wasting your time even meeting someone who is a Trump voting creationist if you are a kinky polyamorous athiest. Or vice versa.

Pay attention to the photos. Is his place a tip/still living with his parents? Does he have a drink in his hand in every one? Are there lots of skirtless posing? Is there one with his ex cut out?

Meet in a neutral place where you feel safe, for coffee or lunch. Don’t make your first date a big deal with dinner and show. Odds are, you’ll meet and chat and feel no inclination to meet again. This is normal. Most online dates consist of a chat and no more. I reckon about one in ten dates will result in “Wow, I want to see you again, and soon.”

Obviously, don’t give your bank or credit card details to anyone online, don’t give your address, and it’s better to chat through a site where you can block if necessary. But there is no need to be paranoid, most men are just looking for a date, not to cyber stalk you.

Otherwise, date and have fun.

Yes.

Keep your wits about you and be willing to see the obvious… like indications the fellow is juggling multiple partners in a predatory way, is lying or has a substance issue.

The main thing to realize that is a fellow is really interesting in a very engaging way, this can be an indication the fellow is practiced at manipulating woman and is a sexual predator.

The average sincere guy is a lot more awkward and nervous, tends to talk about things of interest to him that are not interesting to women. They also come across as more willing to please and anxious you think well of them, which can come across as a lack of confidence to women.

While a sexual predator will come across as more confident and assertive, which is appealing to women.

But I can assure you, over time, the sincere fellow becomes a lot more interesting and a better partner. As you get to know each other and he starts to trust you, his personality will come out more and you will see his goofy, or funny, or smart-ass, or confident side (usually when talking about an interest of his or his work). He becomes more interesting and more comfortable to be with.

While the sexual predator increases your insecurity, keeps giving you unpleasant shocks, makes you feel you are in competition for his attention. And of course, that first STD is a bit of a buzz-kill.

So look to get to know a fellow before you decide if he is interesting or not. The quicker he seems really interesting, in a very emotionally engaging way, the higher the odds he is manipulating you.

So give a guy a chance, and look for evidence of his character and how solid a person he is… those are more important qualities.

Dating has become popular in the world of many of us young people.

To those new to dating, I would like you guys to know that you can’t just fall in love with someone just because of their looks, because it’s what’s on the inside that counts as well. I would also like to point out that if someone hits you in a relationship, it’s time to leave.

In the beginning relationships are always filled with love and happiness but there’s moments when as time goes by the love starts to fade, in my opinion a way to avoid this is communication. When you communicate you talk about everything that is on your mind and this helps to make the relationship stronger.

He has to be attractive to you, not your friends, or mom or whatever but to you! He should treat you with respect unless you don't like that. He should be interesting to you, who cares if everyone else finds him boring, you're the one who will be listening.

Dependable. To me, this is the sexiest quality. A guy you can depend on when you get a flat tire at 3 AM to give you a ride or help put on your spare. A guy who will be there to hold you when someone you love dies and go with you to the funeral even if you're on a break.

A man who is willing to communicate about anything and doesn't shut communication down because to get through life you need a partner you can discuss uncomfortable things with.

A man who pays attention to your likes and dislikes.

And if you do get into a relationship, a man who makes you and your happiness a priority. I'm not saying 24/7 His #1 priority because he has his life too but eventually, you two should be putting each other before everyone else so you need to watch for if you are climbing or falling in his priority list.

Often in relationships, time can make a great guy turn into a blah and a blah turn into a prince it depends on how time affects his priority of you.

Fellas:

Smile. Be funny if you can. If you cant… smile.

Be clean. You don't need cologne, but you do need to bathe, and wear clean clothes.

Speaking of clothes, wear something nice. Not over the top, but not pajamas or your construction jumpsuit.

Brush your teeth. Bring a mint or gum along in case your breathe stinks by the time you get to your date. Get rid of the mint or gum before talking to them for the first time.

Be complimentary. Be nice. Be mature. You’re with a date, not your pals, and you want that person to like you.

Open doors.

Before you even go on the date, call this person and find out what sort of things they like to do. Consider that for the date. Even if you don't want to do what they like, do it anyway. It goes a long way towards making them feel comfortable, and lets them know that you’re paying attention and are interested in their thing.

And if you determine you don't want to ever see that person again at the end of the date be polite and say “it was nice meeting you. Good night.” They’ll get the drift.

Ladies:

Show up. We’re already in.