What do you consider “traditional” methods of dating?

Are you using a matchmaker? Are you allowing your family to pick your dates for you?

Are you going to dance clubs to meet women?

Are you putting ads in magazines?

Or are you hitting on women you meet at work or in the street?

Basically, if you are hitting on strange women, you are going to have a staggeringly high rejection rate. And the women you do meet that way will almost all be incompatible with you. After all, they are the sort of women who think it’s a good idea to date total strangers they met in the street.

The great advantage of dating sites is that everyone there is interested in dating. Okay, they might not be interested in dating YOU. but they are there because they are single and want to meet someone.

The other great advantage is that you can filter for what you want. I always filter for kinky, left leaning, atheist, intelligent, non-smoker. Otherwise you can spent a lot of time with someone before you realise they are actually a Trump voting, vaccine denying evangelical.

Yes, if you are very specific about your filters, you’ll have a smaller choice. But you’re more likely to find it a useful one.

Around 6 months ago, I was approached by a startup to freelance for them. They wanted a small team of writers and UX designers to break down dating apps and tell them what is it exactly that one would need to build the perfect dating app.

The project was shut down last month due to funding issues. This allows me to divulge some interesting data that we tracked over 14–15 weeks on various apps like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and TrulyMadly.

I will share some insights from Tinder and Bumble only as they are the most popular dating apps out there.

We created two groups of profiles for the study, with pictures of real people. (Apt permissions were taken from everyone). Some of the information on the bio was manipulated to understand the general trends etc.

The first group of profiles included men and women who were visually attractive according to society’s standards. (Extra emphasis on this statement!)

The second group of profiles included men and women who were not visually attractive according to society’s standards.

One interesting thing that we observed was that women from both the groups got matches on a daily basis except for that one profile which did not have any display picture.

Other facts included:

1. Men’s profiles with real and visually attractive pictures, linked to social accounts, and lots of pictures got matches consistently. One of the profiles did not even have any bio, and it still got matches.
2. Men’s profiles which had brilliantly written captions, witty captions, and humorous quotes had almost 75% fewer matches in both the groups.
3. The second group compared to the first (visually attractive) group had almost 95% fewer matches.
4. Profiles that mentioned IIT, IIM, and similar colleges had higher matches even in the second group.
5. Present job and company were not much of a factor in both the jobs.
6. Profiles in which people were wearing or displaying high-popularity brands like Apple, Levis, Reebok, Nike, etc got almost 70% matches.
7. Women in the less visually attractive group got around 45% fewer matches.
8. Men who looked muscular had more matches, women who posted selfies had lesser matches, overall people who had professional photographers click their pictures had a higher match rate.
9. Men with visible nerves on their arms, neatly set hair, without spectacles, had higher matches.
10. Women with a fair complexion had 60% higher matches compared to a dark complexion.
11. In some of the profiles, we had deliberately placed pictures of luxurious holidays and photoshoots. These profiles had much more matches compared to people posing with pets or reading a book.

There were around 32 data points like these. We never messaged or interacted with any of the matched profiles. It opened my eyes once again to what exactly people out there fantasize about.

When people say, they like a person with a sense of humour, responsibility, success, blah, blah, blah in the opposite sex, you will be surprised at how many people just look at the pictures when it comes to online dating.

As one of the people in the small team pointed out in the end:

“These apps act more like a justification to people who want to be told they are attractive in nature, that someone would actually take interest in them against so many other people out there.”

If you ask me, yes there are a lot of success stories out there when it comes to dating apps, but those numbers as a percentage would be very meager. As much as it sounds exciting unless you fall into a select category from group 1, you would have to be extremely lucky to actually find someone worthwhile.

“Online dating doesn’t suck, too many people suck at online dating!”

Well, there is no such site. If you have no luck on dating sites. Then, how about in real life? If it's still the same, you should try to think about the possible problems you may have.

On dating sites and dating apps, looks are very important. You should try to make yourself look better. Make yourself look clean.

You may think people who do their hair and dress well are gay, but you seem to overlook the fact that they always have girls around.

Also, look for the right women. If you are always trying to date some extreme beauty, you are getting nowhere.

But, if you have already tried that, or you are not going to improve yourself or anything. The simplest way is to use money. You can be their sugar daddy. Just use some sugar dating sites or apps or put what you are looking for on your bio.

One of the biggest factors will be how others react to your profile picture. It was the first thing they saw. While the content of your opening message will determine whether someone clicks on your profile, this is a small thumbnail that will determine whether they open the message at all.

It's not a universal rule, but take women-the more information a woman receives every day, the more critical she becomes. Have you ever deleted an open message based solely on a thumbnail? I think everyone does this at some point.

Now you see. Most attractive women don't even open all the information because they're too lazy to filter it. You have to assume that a quick look at the thumbnails is the only way she can decide whether or not to open the information, so if your main image isn't the only good one you have, you're at a disadvantage. No cheesy nude photos, no sultry official photos, no myspace-style self-portraits-you want a picture that shows you're a relaxed, fun person with an active social life.

The safest way would be to hire out a bar for the night and hire a dozen actors to play the role of patrons. Make sure they have air-tight back stories in case the target questions them. I would go for something like a drunk guy, a off duty police officer, a retired pilot and at least one of them should be dressed as a priest so he can carry the gun without the target suspecting.

You could also hire a private detective to shadow the target afterwards. If they walk down an alleyway and jump into the back of an unmarked van which screeches off for example, it would suggest no further dates should be undertaken with this individual. Of course that is a highly unlikely thing to ever happen, it's just an extreme example of what might be found.

Hahaha

So much wrong here. Not sure where to start.

Most single mothers in your desired age range do not have the disposable income to support a “boy-toy.” Nor do they have the free time or energy to spend on such. Unless of course you confused “boy-toy” with “booty call”.

You’d have to offer more than your youth and looks. You’d have to be willing to work on their schedule, meet their wants/demands, and be okay with coming in at about 5th or sixth(if your lucky, boy-toy status places you well below other priorities) on their priority list of things to do on any given day. Paying bills and taking care of the kids trump having arm-candy the majority of the single mother’s time.

You also need to realize that women, regardless of hair color or parental status or age, are humans. Which means you can’t just put out a list of “wants” like a used car and expect to find it. There could be such a woman in your area, that has blonde hair and is in the age range you want, but that doesn’t mean she’d want a boy-toy or you in general. That’s just how the world is.

If you are dead set on this course of action, you need to be where the blonde, single mothers are when they are socializing. Which is usually with other parents or their kids. That lack of disposable income and free time seriously cuts into their bar hopping and dance club outings.

No. Why not? Dating has changed since the 1990s. Technology, the media, social norms, and altered perceptions. Today, dating is mired in unrealistic expectations. Dating sites have been “Tinderized,” meaning that 99.8 percent of the straight women are only willing to date 10% of the men.

Dating has devolved to what we tolerated in high school.

I want to get dinner, see a movie, or walk along the river. Dates don’t need to be tall, slender, and wealthy. Furthermore, I don’t want to be out with someone whose constantly poking her phone.

I’m an uninteresting man in my region because I’m unlike most women here. I don’t take drugs. I have no tattoos, there is no metal in my face, I read books, and I have never been convicted of a felony. I’m a weirdo here. The typical fifty-year-old single woman here has multiple men in her life and has been married three or more times. She struggles with drug addiction and is prone to making poor choices. The rest of the single women are bitter divorcees or widows, and in their own ways, they’re hanging on to their adult children and the relationships they once had.

I meet 1,300 people yearly, and I’ve probably met 5,000 since my arrival here. Half of those people were women, so someone would have said something or contacted me through social media. Nope.

The short answer to why not? I’m not part of the 10%. I’m neither tall nor slender, and I’m not wealthy.

Online dating presents a number of amazing opportunities to connect with like-minded people and potential romantic partners. but some seniors may be intimidated by the idea of online dating, the truth is , it’s very easy to get started.😄😄😄

1. If you’re dating, you will need smart, freshly washed clothes, a good haircut, and fresh breath: this assumes you want to succeed.
2. We all have stories, so just don’t let your past story take over.
3. Learning to value yourself even when she/he turns you down. And try to enjoy the dates, even when they lead to nowhere.
4. You may be looking for another settled relationship. Part of being a senior single is staying open to what’s possible, here and now, learning to embrace surprises, and don’t forget to be gracefully flexible.

Online dating is one of the most popular ways for singles to connect. Here are my top tips for online dating based on my experience.

1. Make a wishlist. Develop a strategy before you begin. What, exactly, are you looking for? Part of making your list is defining what you want.
2. Make your portrait clear. Don’t post too many pictures, four or five is the optimum. People can see what you look like. But avoid having pictures with people of the opposite sex. It's very annoying.
   
   People have a short concentration span, so they're want to look at the picture and quickly figure out who you are.
3. Make your preference algorithm. This is basically developing a handcrafted algorithm, just for yourself. Develop a scoring system.
4. Use more than one app. For example Tinder for hookups and 123Date for long-term relationship. It's ok to use two or three sites at a time. Bear in mind that you'll want most of the features activated.
5. Click on the profiles, that match your preferences. The algorithm of app/site in that case would try to match you according to your behaviour.
6. Keep your profile short. It doesn't matter how good looking you are, if you haven't written a single word then people question what the heck you're doing on there. You can write a couple of words about your true interests, and what you do for a living. Anything is better than no words at all.
7. Stay original. Don’t use banal conversation starters. Get inspiration for conversation from profile and photos of a person. Stop writing "hey, how are you"!
8. Do not delay the date after you match. Apps are just an instrument to get to meet in person.

If you do decide going online is a good route there are some options. Online dating in some ways takes away some fear and can allow you to meet a lot more people. I think we all need communication skills.

In my case, I went with the personality and interest as a first. Photos were not a huge part of my reasons to write back. I was surprised to find I found my partner a whole lot more physically attractive after we met in person. Pictures didn’t portray any emotional connection that I got through a date.

Don't binge message.

Avoid asking for the number along with a very demand replying message, the person will end up replying and easily escaping the phone number exchange which will leave you to wait out the awkward period to ask again, its a funny situation really so don't.

Without photoshop is fine but a few filters and some good lighting, there is so much choice out there and rejection only being swipe easy you need to make a first impression.

Not enough read the profile until the photos are good. But be very original. Humorous if its you, witty and smart. Try to give an insight if not a conversation starter would be ideal allowing them to break ice with more than a one liner or a joke, leaving each of you with substance to talk and understand(judge away).

1. if they sound too good to be true, they are. 2) if they sound good, they will be disappointing so don’t expect much. 3) if they don’t sound very good, they may not be that bad, just not desperate to look good. try that one. 3) stick with local people, anyone far away, looks good, sounds great, rich, will ask you for money. it’s a scam. 4) consider the first month practice. unless you are super lucky, you’ll wade through a lot of swamp to get to any crawdads 5) even if you are disappointed, be gracious and finish the date and thank them. try to have fun and keep the sadness off your face. they might have a great cousin they’ll introduce you to! 6) remember that no one who’s a fantastic catch is likely to end up on a dating site, including you and me.

Don't send a generic message ('Hi', 'How is it going?', 'Great profile, wanna chat?'). Don't call the girl sweetie or any other form of endearment. Don't comment on the picture(s) and don't flatter her. Or if you want to, don't make it the main point of the message.

Comment or ask about something that she lists in her interests, show that you looked at her profile, not just her photo.
Show her that you are interested in talking to her, not just any woman who would respond.

Send a message to a woman who you would actually be interested in talking to, so when she gets your message and looks up your profile she will see you have certain things in common and she will reply.

Good luck.

I see only one HUGE DISADVANTAGE. Social media, especially dating sites and apps have an overwhelming number of scammers seeking victims.

Many, many persons using these sites have no idea what is happening online regarding scammers and romance scammers.

NOTE: A few years ago I spent 6 months researching this for myself. I tried free dating sites and some requiring paid subscriptions. I also had experience helping scam victims and I knew how to research prospective matches. I paid approximately $50 per month for subscriptions to sites where I could do research about a person.

Bottom line, it wasn't worth the time and effort because there are so many fake profiles being used by scammers.

Seek a traditional method for meeting people in person.

I dont know, is it? I decided to find out. So I asked my girl friend, whom I met on Tinder 6 months ago,

I see you are still on Tinder, why is that?

She replied, ??? Im not, I deleted the app.

Followed closely by Why are you? (in case they dont show up, two angry face emojis)

So at that point I explained the question, and she found the whole thing hilarious. Neither of us have the app anymore.

Was it wise? For me, I saw no risk. She is very mellow (trust me she is, despite angry faces) and I knew Id be explaining. For you? Well, expect more angry faces. Its not exactly a polite thing to ask, its got loaded undertones.

First and foremost know what you yourself hope to obtain from online dating. Whether it’s meeting people, dating, hooking up, catfishing, make sure you know exactly what you hope to gain from starting this venture.

Fill in your bio. Skip the “I hate talking about myself” line and get right into the meat and potatoes. Be sure to mention a few hobbies and things you like to do as well as general personality traits. List a few favorite foods, movies, and musical artists you enjoy.
Let your profile speak for you. Rather than say “I’m funny”, make them laugh with a joke or funny picture of yourself.

Upload no less than 3 images. Include at least 1 portrait (upper chest to the top of your head), and 1 full body shot (knee to the top of your head). Feel free to upload more, but these are a must. Pictures with you doing something is also great, out at the beach, playing football, BBQing, and so on. Be careful posting pictures with ANYONE of the opposite sex, even if it is your sibling, cousin, friend, etc. Also avoid pictures of you and small children, unless they are your own. If you feel you have to explain an image via caption, don’t post it.

State what you’re looking for. Not all dating sites will openly divulge to other users what you’re looking for, instead they’ll post your picture(s) and bio. So feel free to mention you’re looking for someone between 21 and 25.

Watch out for negative trigger words. Phrases like “looking for fun” and “looking to chill” often gives the notion that you’re looking to hook-up and not much else. At the same time, pictures of of a guy around expensive cars and holding up a wad of cash gives the idea that you’re basically looking to attract women based on your fortunes alone and don’t offer much else.

Ultimately understand that joining a dating site doesn’t mean you’re going to have date after date after date. Some users join and have consistent bad luck and end up abandoning the site. So go in with an open mind, but also don’t stay too long. Online dating has been linked to depression, so give it a couple months and then give it a rest, then come back later on if necessary.

When it comes to dating, my college friend's experience with Emerald Chat stands out. She found the spontaneity of video conversations refreshing and engaging. Through this platform, she broadened her horizons and met diverse individuals, eventually finding someone special. The advantage of dating sites like Emerald Chat lies in their accessibility and the ability to connect beyond your usual social circles. They offer a chance to explore diverse personalities and interests upfront, making it easier to find compatible partners based on shared values. However, these platforms might lack the immediate, in-person chemistry that traditional dating provides. Some might also find the initial judgment based on online profiles a drawback compared to the organic nature of face-to-face interactions. Ultimately, it's about finding what suits your preferences and dating style. For my friend, Emerald Chat's video chats were a gateway to meaningful connections beyond the conventional dating scene.

What are the tips you want to offer for success on dating sites?Y

That’s a good question.

Of course, the answer differs depending on your gender. For heterosexual males, like myself, I’ll offer 7 tips to ensure your online dating experience is more positive than it is for most men. Studies show that over 85% of men on online dating sites give up within 3 months - constant rejection and the fear of rejection kills. Despite the muscles and the weight, men’s egos are as fragile as unbroken robins’ eggs.

1. Start at the End: Make a detailed list of all those qualities - physical and personality-wise, that would describe your ideal woman. Go deep beyond height, weight, what celeb she might look like, to her traits and attitude.
2. Now, are you now the kind of guy she’d be attracted to? Jordan Peterson’s first rule in his 12 Rules for Life bestseller is instructive: STOP DOING WHAT YOU KNOW IS BAD FOR YOU. Ask friends to be brutally honest and tell you what they think you could work on to be the man that the woman you seek will be seeking.
3. If you publish a book on Amazon, the help notes from experienced authors tell you that if your book doesn’t sell well initially, the first thing to change is the thumbnail - the miniaturized image of your cover. Same with profile pics on online dating sites. That’s the first - and often - last impression that a girl will glimpse of your existence in the singles pool. Here are some DON’Ts for profile pictures (for men). Don’t smile - women are suspicious of smiling men, equating that all too often with manipulation. Don’t be too posed or static. Don’t flaunt your possessions, whether a kennel full of dogs or your collection of hunting rifles. Some ladies might be impressed with your motorcycle or fancy car; others will be turned off by that show of materialism. You might end up with a woman whose favorite activity is shopping. Some guys have had success getting photographed while asleep. Ha! Shows the innocent side. And having pictures taken with attractive women revs up their competitive side, while showing visitors who you are while engaging in your favourite activities - that’s real and attractive. Oh - and ditch those sunglasses. Women, perpetually suspicious creatures that they are (and rightfully so), think you’re hiding something right off the bat by hiding your eyes.
4. One company that specializes in writing profiles for online daters concluded that 99 words in a profile was the ideal length. On the other hand, some dudes who have a thing for words, might be able to weave some magic out of a longer profile. But one thing to keep in mind - if a woman cannot find intrigue and a little mystery and picture herself living in your world, there are too many tasty options for her to linger. You want your page to be irrestistible to the woman you are after. You want her not to hesitate to reply to your query or excite her hormones enough to take the initiative upon stumbling upon your story. That’s the best - having women knock on your door and invite themselves in.
5. What Women (Don’t) Want: A wimp, a wuss, a nice guy with no rough edges. Someone doing his best impression of a doormat to get on a woman’s good side. Be aware that boring is anathema to women. Coming across as a nice guy will get you friendzones real quick. Women are drawn to challenges and to men who cannot be dominated. Cue the bad boys. Especially the top tier of the most attractive women, who flick off interested nice guys like flies on their shoulder. Be a man - a man’s man, not an emasculated shadow of a real hero she seeks. Make the plans. Guide her. Ask her questions. Don’t let her push you around - a common tactic for determining if you can be controlled . Women will test new men to see if you’ll over-react, in which case, it’s game over and she’s onto her next possibility. Best advice? Don’t react. Be strong inside and understand the games she plays to ascertain who you really are.
6. Online dating sites aren’t pen pal pools. Better to meet as soon as she seems worthy. Little will be accomplished by drawing it out. Within 60 seconds, both will know if it’s got wings or a bust. Endeavor to arrange a get together within 3–4 notes online. Keep things light - no proposals in the first date, thank you! Hold back with the affection. Too much, too soon is a sign of neediness, death to a nascent relationship. Discipline yourself to let her come to you more. The very best starts are when SHE is doing the chasing. When you chase, all she can do is pull back. Give her space and let her miss you.
7. If you are not getting the response you want - if your inbox is gathering dust, then chatnge things up. There is, according to social scientists, a loneliness epidemic, with both sexes finding it tough to meet and court in the new age of the Internet, when family and friends have dwindling influence. It’s a new age and everyone’s struggling to gain advantage when the rules are still illegible. When success seems elusive, take a break for a few months, get happy inside (optimists are the preferred partners for other optimists and pessimists alike) and plan a new campaign in which you tweak those things that might be improved, in yourself and on your profile.
8. A bonus tip - many men have encountered great problems in meeting the woman of their dreams online. There are some dating gurus who have untied the Gordian knot, who have found the secrets of unlocking the mind (and sometimes legs) of those ladies of interest. Don’t forget that the most attractive women on dating sites get 90% of the correspondence. They are FLOODED with plaintive notes from shy guys and guys who think nothing of sending penis pics. Don’t be that guy. Instead, recognize that this is a new field of study and some men have acquired a PhD in it. Find those men (and women) and learn the deep tricks of the trade. It might just save you from years of being alone when you have so much to offer. So learn how to improve yourself, how to be the man she’s been searching for, how to give good eye contact and have confident body language, how to approach women (so you aren’t wimping out when you see someone of interest), how to present yourself - online and in person - in the best light. And learn how to improve your bedroom skills, so she will melt in your arms outside the bedroom.There are always scads of things you can keep doing, a la the Japanese method of kaizen - continual incremental improvements. And let’s bring in Winston Churchill, to close this out. During the terrible days of the London Blitz, during the Second World War, with incendiary bombs dropping nightly in England’s capital, with his country all alone against the savagery of the Nazis, he summoned up the courage and the stiff upper lip of defiant Islanders with his exhortation: “Never, never, never give up!”