I don't mind rejection. I also try not to have any expectations beyond having fun in that moment. I am niether looking for a one night stand, nor a long term relationship. I'm looking to have a good time, while I'm with the person I'm with, doing the thing we're doing.
When I ask a girl out, and she says no, I don't persist beyond, “if you change your mind…” I also stopped asking for their contact information and offered mine. This gives them the initiative without feeling awkward about turning me down.
I try to ask more questions than I answer. I'm a fan of the phrase, “what do you think…” or t
I don't mind rejection. I also try not to have any expectations beyond having fun in that moment. I am niether looking for a one night stand, nor a long term relationship. I'm looking to have a good time, while I'm with the person I'm with, doing the thing we're doing.
When I ask a girl out, and she says no, I don't persist beyond, “if you change your mind…” I also stopped asking for their contact information and offered mine. This gives them the initiative without feeling awkward about turning me down.
I try to ask more questions than I answer. I'm a fan of the phrase, “what do you think…” or the many variations of it. When ever I talk about myself, my intent isn't so much to answer the question, but to return the question to them. I answer the question, I just try to be as concise as possible in the answer, without a lot elaboration beyond what's necessary. Asking more questions than you answer let's you get ahead of the situation. It lets you evaluate if you want to get to know this person better, and you can better formulate a suggestion for a date. Asking someone out has a higher success rate if you can be specific about what you want to do. Museums are your friend. They can take several hours or less than that. You're surrounded by conversation pieces. They're public enough to make your companion feel safe and comfortable, but they can offer a certain level intimacy as well.
And again, I'm fine with the word no. There are seven billion people on the planet, I don't need all of thrm to like me. Rejection isn't failure, it just means that one in seven billion doesn't want to go out wirh you. They did you a favor by not making you waste time and energy on them. Thank them and move on.
I was going to the bar for a drink with my buddy Mike in Coronado, California.
It was a Wednesday night. Most bars were dead. We went to “Mexican Village”, a now-closed Mexican restaurant where we frequently sang karaoke at.
(I’m a horrible singer, ps).
We walked in and three girls were sitting at the bar. One of them was this girl:
Recognize her?
It is Gina Carano.
She was a former champion MMA fighter
I was going to the bar for a drink with my buddy Mike in Coronado, California.
It was a Wednesday night. Most bars were dead. We went to “Mexican Village”, a now-closed Mexican restaurant where we frequently sang karaoke at.
(I’m a horrible singer, ps).
We walked in and three girls were sitting at the bar. One of them was this girl:
Recognize her?
It is Gina Carano.
She was a former champion MMA fighter and well-known actress.
She was in a few movies including Deadpool:
We introduced ourselves. She was super cool and friendly. We hung out with her and her sisters for a few hours and even sang Karaoke with them.
We didn’t have smartphones at the time otherwise I’d have pics. I’d seen celebrities before in California — but had never interacted with one so much.
This will probably be the only celebrity story of my life — but one is better than none so I’ll take it.
One thing I’ve learned: don’t get infatuated with celebrities or let them be a model of comparison for the opposite sex.
They are very normal people when you see them up close. When you see them on the big screen — they are wearing $5000 worth of makeup and outfits, with perfect lighting.
They are on a diet and have a personal trainer.
There’s a superficiality that our culture imbues in us, men especially.
Yes, it’s important to be attracted to someone you...
| Namaskaram |
I stopped seeing people for who I wanted them to be. And accepted them for who they truly are.
Some people date for a good time, not for a long time. You simply need to get used to this—the fact that people date for different reasons. Reasons, extremely complicated reasons that go back far into their childhood, past emotional experiences, and failed romances etched in their deep subconscious that even they aren’t completely aware of.
The least you can do here is also the best you can do: figure yourself out and set your priorities right. Or at least try to do so. The more you know
| Namaskaram |
I stopped seeing people for who I wanted them to be. And accepted them for who they truly are.
Some people date for a good time, not for a long time. You simply need to get used to this—the fact that people date for different reasons. Reasons, extremely complicated reasons that go back far into their childhood, past emotional experiences, and failed romances etched in their deep subconscious that even they aren’t completely aware of.
The least you can do here is also the best you can do: figure yourself out and set your priorities right. Or at least try to do so. The more you know what you want, the more you will align yourself with your tribe. It is easier to spot red flags when we do not fit people into imaginary boxes of who we believe them to be or what they can offer. Frankly speaking, red flags aren’t really red flags. Are they? These are just instances of mismatched personalities. You will always be the wrong person for someone until you meet the right one. As simple as that.
So, work on your soulmate checklist, trash the "fantasy lover" you have contrived in your subconscious, and move forward with an open mind. Accept rejection, and reject others with grace. Set your boundaries well. And never tolerate disrespect. No matter how tempting the other person is. Most people suffer in this process and also post- breakup because they find it difficult to cope with the collapse of their ultimate “fantasy!” Maybe that person was never your match. Just accept it.
| saubhāgyam |
My voice cracked.
My hands shook.
I stuttered.
Act confident Josh - you’re losing the audience!
I started speaking too fast.
Slow down! Slow down!
Ugh, I’m so nervous.
This was my first business presentation. I felt sick and miserable afterwards.
There were only twenty people in the crowd.
When I finished, they gave a small sympathy applause making me feel worse.
All of that changed.
Now, I give presentations in front of hundreds of people every week.
Here’s one of my most recent presentations (I’m on the left):
What changed?
I read many books about public speaking, watched recordings of my talks, and studi
My voice cracked.
My hands shook.
I stuttered.
Act confident Josh - you’re losing the audience!
I started speaking too fast.
Slow down! Slow down!
Ugh, I’m so nervous.
This was my first business presentation. I felt sick and miserable afterwards.
There were only twenty people in the crowd.
When I finished, they gave a small sympathy applause making me feel worse.
All of that changed.
Now, I give presentations in front of hundreds of people every week.
Here’s one of my most recent presentations (I’m on the left):
What changed?
I read many books about public speaking, watched recordings of my talks, and studied social attraction and influence.
These five books helped me the most:
- Purple Cow - Seth Godin
I learned to unapologetically be myself and to make a point of standing out.
2. Contagious - Jonah Berger
I learned the type of content people wanted to hear.
3. Tribes - Seth Godin
I learned how to facilitate a community with my words.
4. Talk Like Ted - Carmine Gallo
I learned how to tell a memorable story.
5. Total Recall - Arnold Schwarzenegger
I learned how to establish a powerful stage presence.
Then I studied the best speakers, specifically these two:
- Tony Robbins
- Les Brown
I watched countless videos of them speaking. I took notes on how they energized the audience, made their points stick, and took over the stage.
Next, I implemented.
In the last year and a half, I’ve conducted over 70+ interviews and created 40+ personal videos. Many times I re-watched my videos to take notes on how I can improve. The small details add up.
Re-watching your talks also helps you realize what the audience enjoys. They may not care if you stutter, but they may care if you go off on irrelevant tangents.
My first big success was removing word fillers including “Like,” “Um,” and “You know.” This helped me present information to the audience in more articulate manner.
After you study yourself, study the audience.
Do they look bored?
Do they look excited?
Think of it as being a football player - your coaches re-play the game video to critique each player.
Your job is to ensure you’re improving, so your coaches don’t yell at you or kick you off the team.
It’s a catch-22. To know if you’re improving you need more videos of you speaking.
Even with all these tips to communicate better, it won’t matter unless you practice in front of others.
Find your courage and motivation to put yourself out there.
With a little persistence, you’ll become an incredible speaker.
I had a job as a telemarketer for about 6 months. I cold-called people ALL DAY!
I got called all sorts of names. I was bitched at. I was insulted. I was verbally abused ALL. THE. TIME.
You know what it all boiled down to?
“No.”
That’s it. The response was just “no”. It was varying degrees of “no”. That’s all.
My friends all thought I had “mad game” because I could walk up to the most gorgeous woman in any scenario (bar, club, supermarket, concert) and ask her if I could buy her a drink/coffee. Most of the time, her response would be “no”, or something to that degree. The truth was: I had 400 other
I had a job as a telemarketer for about 6 months. I cold-called people ALL DAY!
I got called all sorts of names. I was bitched at. I was insulted. I was verbally abused ALL. THE. TIME.
You know what it all boiled down to?
“No.”
That’s it. The response was just “no”. It was varying degrees of “no”. That’s all.
My friends all thought I had “mad game” because I could walk up to the most gorgeous woman in any scenario (bar, club, supermarket, concert) and ask her if I could buy her a drink/coffee. Most of the time, her response would be “no”, or something to that degree. The truth was: I had 400 other people tell me “no” that day. What’s one more?
The best part? The times they said, “yes”.
- Go Out There And Practice. It is not going to get any better by you just hiding in the corner. Go approach someone. The first time is always the worst. It gets better after that!
- Realize That Rejection Only Hurts Your Ego. You do not suddenly become less valuable because you were rejected. You as a person are still you. The only thing rejection hurts is something in your head; which is not all you are.
- Chose To Be Confident. You can simply decide to be confident today. You need no reason to feel confident inside; You can simply decide on it. Think about what a confident person would do in your s
- Go Out There And Practice. It is not going to get any better by you just hiding in the corner. Go approach someone. The first time is always the worst. It gets better after that!
- Realize That Rejection Only Hurts Your Ego. You do not suddenly become less valuable because you were rejected. You as a person are still you. The only thing rejection hurts is something in your head; which is not all you are.
- Chose To Be Confident. You can simply decide to be confident today. You need no reason to feel confident inside; You can simply decide on it. Think about what a confident person would do in your situation and do it!
- Face Your Fears. The only reason you are not saying what you want, not being utterly yourself and the only reason you are holding back is because you are afraid something could turn bad. You could lose your status, your friends or be embarrassed. Become okay with that and you will be instantly more confident.
- Have An Open Posture. Hands on your sides, back straight, chest out and head held level. “Motion creates Emotion.” - Tony Robbins. Various Psychological studies have been done on confident body language, specifically in CEOs. Take up space and stand, sit and walk proudly.
- Fail On Purpose. Next time you are talking to a stranger, fail the conversation. Really screw up a conversation with a stranger to see if it really is as bad as you imagine. This will likely make you re-evaluate why you’ve been afraid.
- Practice More. Practice talking when you are on your own, in front of the mirror, talking to strangers and go at every social situation with the intention to engage the conversation as much as possible.
- Speak From Your Chest Not Your Throat. Take a deep breath and try to bring your voice from the pits of your stomach. Test this by putting your hand on your throat and chest when you speak. If your chest is vibrating while you speak you are in good shape to have your voice carry further and be heard.
- Smile. Force yourself to do this. Everyone is more attentive when faced with someone who is smiling.
- Practice Active Listening. Don’t just speak but listen too. Know why that person is telling you this and really get interested and invested in them and their life. This will make you more charming and charismatic to everyone around.
- Have A Good Time. If you are having a good time while talking to someone that emotion of joy will transfer to them. This will make them easier to talk to, you easier to get along with and you will strengthen the relationship you have with them. Everyone wants to be happy and if you can create an atmosphere of happiness most people will gravitate towards you.
- Practice Some More. I know you already are doing this from point #1 and #7, but do some more still. This is the most important thing and the most uncomfortable thing for you. Go out there and talk to as many people as possible within a set amount of time each day. This is what is going to get you to become an amazing speaker and communicator.
Start taking control of your life. Then confidence follows.
Every day in our life, we are making decisions about how to spend our time. Have you ever step back and think about why you make THE decision? Is it what you want or is it because of convenience, peer pressure, social norm, or habits?
Know yourself and always be mindful about the decision you are going to make. What value does it bring to your and others' life? Does it resonates with your inner self and belief?
Then, take action and never look back. There are always better ways, but at least at that moment, you are making the one you b
Start taking control of your life. Then confidence follows.
Every day in our life, we are making decisions about how to spend our time. Have you ever step back and think about why you make THE decision? Is it what you want or is it because of convenience, peer pressure, social norm, or habits?
Know yourself and always be mindful about the decision you are going to make. What value does it bring to your and others' life? Does it resonates with your inner self and belief?
Then, take action and never look back. There are always better ways, but at least at that moment, you are making the one you believe in. Learn from your mistakes, strengthen your belief and make better decision next time.
Someone once claim that being "confident" is being really really good at what you are doing, like Stephen Curry at playing basketball. I say, if you don't know where your passion is or where you want to be an expert in, start by living, be really really good at following your heart and living every minute of your life at your will.
Facetiously, the way to approach any woman confidently is to wear George Clooney's face.
You have, literally, no chance to fool a woman out of noticing your lack of confidence. They are better at noticing social cues than men, on average.
If confidence is your problem, stop trying to impress women. Work on developing male relationships. Figure out how you can be accepted in your male peer group. Cultivate the kind of relationships with guys that you can walk into a room full of guys and say “Hi” to them and have them happy to see you.
This is not as hard as it seems. Being genuinely friendly and interested in what other people are doing… not being a threat… is actually very easy. If
You have, literally, no chance to fool a woman out of noticing your lack of confidence. They are better at noticing social cues than men, on average.
If confidence is your problem, stop trying to impress women. Work on developing male relationships. Figure out how you can be accepted in your male peer group. Cultivate the kind of relationships with guys that you can walk into a room full of guys and say “Hi” to them and have them happy to see you.
This is not as hard as it seems. Being genuinely friendly and interested in what other people are doing… not being a threat… is actually very easy. If you can walk into a room and be everybody’s friend… that gives you confidence.
In my life, I’ve pulled more action from women by having Hell’s Angles buy me drinks, than by being some sort of “cool guy”. Laughing and joking with a bunch of other people is attractive to women… who are far more socially perceptive than men. It’s been said, “men choose women by comparison, women choose men by consensus.” Be the kind of person other people like to have around… this will lead to other women wanting to be around you… or at least are not threatened by you…. this will lead to available women being attracted to you. Confidence is really just a tertiary concern.
Verbally.
While boundaries can often be assumed, you’re best to verbally make them clear. If you’re a woman with a child, let this be known and tell the guy that you’re not ready for him to meet your child yet so he won’t be in or near your home when your child is also there.
If you don’t answer or touch your phone while at work, let this be known as well.
Should you want the guy to hang out at your place, but not spend the night, mention this when you invite him over.
Not planning on having sex. Don’t wear your granny panties, say this.
Verbalize your boundaries. This is the only way for him to tr
Verbally.
While boundaries can often be assumed, you’re best to verbally make them clear. If you’re a woman with a child, let this be known and tell the guy that you’re not ready for him to meet your child yet so he won’t be in or near your home when your child is also there.
If you don’t answer or touch your phone while at work, let this be known as well.
Should you want the guy to hang out at your place, but not spend the night, mention this when you invite him over.
Not planning on having sex. Don’t wear your granny panties, say this.
Verbalize your boundaries. This is the only way for him to truly know where lines are drawn.
This is so tricky cause it's completely a mentality thing! You have to believe that you are the hottest, finest, smartest, easiest to get along with, such a vibe type of person. And I mean really believe it. Like, look in the mirror and hype yourself up. The other thing is to convince yourself that there's absolutely nothing to lose but time. If the girls don't vibe with you and it doesn't go anywhere, then it's okay!!!
It's also really important to get to know the girl. This will help you to become more confident, especially if you have things in common. I'd recommend spending some time talkin
This is so tricky cause it's completely a mentality thing! You have to believe that you are the hottest, finest, smartest, easiest to get along with, such a vibe type of person. And I mean really believe it. Like, look in the mirror and hype yourself up. The other thing is to convince yourself that there's absolutely nothing to lose but time. If the girls don't vibe with you and it doesn't go anywhere, then it's okay!!!
It's also really important to get to know the girl. This will help you to become more confident, especially if you have things in common. I'd recommend spending some time talking to them whether that's over text, call, FaceTime, or on an actual date.
One way could be slow-talking. When you slow down your pace, you get time to frame up sentences in your mind and you appear more serene.
Another thing to keep in mind is to talk about things that interest you. Doing that keeps you involved in the conversation and the other person does not notice your lack of confidence.
Indulge yourself in more and more conversations, even with strangers. That will help you.
Keep practicing. Good luck.
Put yourself in social situations. Practicing confidence in social situations is an important opportunity. Over time, your social skills will improve and grow which can help you gain confidence. Frequently being in social situations will also make you feel more comfortable, which can reduce your anxiety over time.
To be honest, I’ve learned that setting boundaries to any of my relationship is utopian. There will be a day that he will be again himself. So I started setting boundaries to myself so if anyone cross them hardly I know what do I have to do.
Start by making friends. Make friends with men and women. The nicest girls you are likely to meet are probably friends of friends. Widen your circle of casual friends and get to know people that way, without worrying about dating. Relax and take your time.
Don't lie to yourself. The truth is, nobody could possibly want you without having had the chance to speak to you - woman or man or xyz. People develop their feelings and attitudes towards others in a gradual manner, over a period of time - depending on how well they feel like their needs are being met. That's one.
Secondly, try to think a little less of yourself. One of the primary reasons for a lack of confidence is an inflated ego. Counterintuitive? You bet. But think about it. Why would you be so uptight about meeting women? It's because at some level you're scared you'll say or do somethin
Don't lie to yourself. The truth is, nobody could possibly want you without having had the chance to speak to you - woman or man or xyz. People develop their feelings and attitudes towards others in a gradual manner, over a period of time - depending on how well they feel like their needs are being met. That's one.
Secondly, try to think a little less of yourself. One of the primary reasons for a lack of confidence is an inflated ego. Counterintuitive? You bet. But think about it. Why would you be so uptight about meeting women? It's because at some level you're scared you'll say or do something that might backfire, with the end result being you making a fool out of yourself. Why would you care so much about that possibility, though? Because, ta-da, you sir think a little too highly of yourself. How dare this lady, you think, have the audacity to reject a hotshot such as yourself? Deary me. 7.5 billion people on the planet, buddy - with you being one of 'em. And the planet itself happens to be just one in billions of others! Don't be so afraid to engage with people. Scared you'll fuck it up? Well, who cares! Go right ahead. What's the worst that'll happen? Oh, you'll be laughed at. Laugh along! Have fun with it. Later on, maybe spend some time thinking about what you could've done better. Learn something. Adjust. Improve. Go again! And again. It gets better, I promise!
All the best.
Well I'm a guy and I totally understand your feeling of anxiety and thoughts of “What if…” when approaching someone you'd like to meet. So let me tell you a story that coincidently happened to me today.
I live in a state that rarely gets any snow, and as a result, ice skating rinks are very rare for us. Luckily, for the Christmas season, our city opens up a mini ice-skating rink.
So I'm at the ice skating rink, I get my shoes, and I start making my way toward the ice.
As I step on the ice, I almost slip and fall (I haven't ice skated in centuries).
All of a sudden, I lay eyes on this ice skating a
Well I'm a guy and I totally understand your feeling of anxiety and thoughts of “What if…” when approaching someone you'd like to meet. So let me tell you a story that coincidently happened to me today.
I live in a state that rarely gets any snow, and as a result, ice skating rinks are very rare for us. Luckily, for the Christmas season, our city opens up a mini ice-skating rink.
So I'm at the ice skating rink, I get my shoes, and I start making my way toward the ice.
As I step on the ice, I almost slip and fall (I haven't ice skated in centuries).
All of a sudden, I lay eyes on this ice skating angel. She is gliding on air, and I'm like O M G, she is flawless (All whilst I'm struggling not to fall).
I circle the rink 2/3 times, and all of a sudden I see her pass by me again.
I hollar at her, “Great Jo-Woah”. I loose my balance.
I get back on my feet and start again. I didn't care if she heard me or not. She was a natural, and meanwhile, I was trying to get back to skating.
Suddenly, I see her start to slow down for me and shout a smiley “Thanks!”
I think, What??! Is this amazing girl talking to me? Duhhhh you idiot! XD
I immediately ask her her name and we hit off a great conversation (She goes to my friend’s high school. Coincidence? I think not).
So my point is this: Get your crush’s attention by first having the courage to compliment them (Everyone likes compliments). Then have a conversation with them. Talk about what you have in common: school, sweaters, TV shows, anything.
It works like magic. Don't be afraid and have fun.
Firstly, you should look at yourself in a mirror, and accept, admire yourself everyday.
Second thing is you should know a confident person is always more attractive than a shy one.
And the third, you can find a topic that you are interested in, like art, music, whatever you like. When you talk about what you like, you can easily be confident.
Hope it can help you. You are thinking about this problem, it means you are already a great person.
The words “confidence” and “confident” are thrown around in ways that broaden their meaning to the point where no one knows what they mean anymore.
Shamelessness is perceived as confidence. Bravery is perceived as confidence. Courage is perceived as confidence. Hubris is perceived as confidence. Extroversion is perceived as confidence. Autonomy is percieved as confidence. The list goes on…
When you break the word down, you'll discover that the word “confidence” is actually a combination of the prefix “con” and the word fidelity, meaning trust. “Confidence” would then mean “shared trust”. By that
The words “confidence” and “confident” are thrown around in ways that broaden their meaning to the point where no one knows what they mean anymore.
Shamelessness is perceived as confidence. Bravery is perceived as confidence. Courage is perceived as confidence. Hubris is perceived as confidence. Extroversion is perceived as confidence. Autonomy is percieved as confidence. The list goes on…
When you break the word down, you'll discover that the word “confidence” is actually a combination of the prefix “con” and the word fidelity, meaning trust. “Confidence” would then mean “shared trust”. By that definition, confidence, that being shared trust, is highly significant when talking to girls one is interested in.
Real answer? Try and probably fail. Try and probably fail several times.
Eventually, if you stick it out, you start to learn what’s wrong with your approach, how you present yourself (no I don’t mean get plastic surgery or live at the gym), your conversation topics, and just generally you eventually start to feel at ease meeting people. That last one is key: to be comfortable in your own skin while talking to somebody you’re attracted to.
There isn’t really a trick to it beyond somebody you’re attracted to actually being willing to date you/bang you, but you’ll eventually find that women aren’t
Real answer? Try and probably fail. Try and probably fail several times.
Eventually, if you stick it out, you start to learn what’s wrong with your approach, how you present yourself (no I don’t mean get plastic surgery or live at the gym), your conversation topics, and just generally you eventually start to feel at ease meeting people. That last one is key: to be comfortable in your own skin while talking to somebody you’re attracted to.
There isn’t really a trick to it beyond somebody you’re attracted to actually being willing to date you/bang you, but you’ll eventually find that women aren’t really all as picky as incel Internetsmans make them out to be. Be the version of you, a real version and not some trick, that a lady would most want to hang out with, and if you actually take some risks (ask her number, ask her out, respectfully show her that you’re attracted to her on the date while listening for body language or speech that says you’re about to cross a line) you might find things work out.
Oh, and probably don’t be a misogynist. Women don’t tend to like that.
- Carry handkerchief to presentations!
- As in when someone asks me a tangential question I would clean my glasses to reflect about a question, collate my thoughts and prepare an answer.
- It works like a charm and people won’t know that you are building up your arsenal to nuke the question.
- Enter a room like a badass, suit by like Barney Stinson, carry the smile of Harvey Spector and give a wide smile to people around you.
Yep, That’s me with glasses on.
VOICE MODULATION importance can’t be more emphasized upon. When you are talking for 10+ minutes. People would hardly listen to you. If you are able to
- Carry handkerchief to presentations!
- As in when someone asks me a tangential question I would clean my glasses to reflect about a question, collate my thoughts and prepare an answer.
- It works like a charm and people won’t know that you are building up your arsenal to nuke the question.
- Enter a room like a badass, suit by like Barney Stinson, carry the smile of Harvey Spector and give a wide smile to people around you.
Yep, That’s me with glasses on.
VOICE MODULATION importance can’t be more emphasized upon. When you are talking for 10+ minutes. People would hardly listen to you. If you are able to gather their attention span for more than 5 minutes. You aced your presentation and that can happen only when you STOP and SLOW DOWN at the CRUCIAL points.
Carry a small note with you. A crisp zero size sticky notes sized paper inside your palm like this:
Yep, That’s Shashi Tharoor and THAT SMALL PAPER was the source of one of the most thought after speeches on British soil.
Keep Moving, You beast!
A
Goal setting helps. Keep a journal of goals and a check list of long, medium, and short term goals. Also make sure you put yourself into physical activity daily. It can be walks, runs, hikes, fishing, jogging, biking, exploring, etc. You just have to be active somehow. You will see what you are able to be successful at. The physical activity will improve your looks gradually. Also surround yourself with at least 5 people who have qualities and choice activities that you admire. You need to keep more positive people in your life than negative any given time.
My beloved and I have been married 50 years, and I can't remember ever having to set boundaries at all.
But I am blessed with an extremely flexible, respectful, loving, giving partner.
I have never lacked or needed confidence in our interrelationship.
Believe me when I say that as time goes by, your confidence will improve and it will become easier and easier to approach girls, and interact with them. It won’t be easy at first, but you have to continue to try hard and never give up. Never be rude, and never approach a girl under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Show respect. There are many girls out there looking for such a guy, and the ones that aren’t are not worth your time.
if all else fails, live in the Philippines for year, learn how to court Filipino style, and you will be swamped with girls, boosting your self confident with women
Believe me when I say that as time goes by, your confidence will improve and it will become easier and easier to approach girls, and interact with them. It won’t be easy at first, but you have to continue to try hard and never give up. Never be rude, and never approach a girl under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Show respect. There are many girls out there looking for such a guy, and the ones that aren’t are not worth your time.
if all else fails, live in the Philippines for year, learn how to court Filipino style, and you will be swamped with girls, boosting your self confident with women until you are bursting with it for the rest of your life.
1.Don't pretend.Women will catch you.This is a red signal for them.If you are not very confident of yourself don't try hard,instead stay humble and approach meekly.
2.Dont start the conversation boldly like a rowdy.Say something like “your dog is cute,what breed is it,do you live here"say like this and make the conversation.
3.Dont fear rejection.There are million girls out there for you.This thinking will make you more confident and carefree.
4.Always talk to her in a good vibe and energy.Make jokes and try to make the conversation light and playful.Women like it when men are carefree.
5.Women lo
1.Don't pretend.Women will catch you.This is a red signal for them.If you are not very confident of yourself don't try hard,instead stay humble and approach meekly.
2.Dont start the conversation boldly like a rowdy.Say something like “your dog is cute,what breed is it,do you live here"say like this and make the conversation.
3.Dont fear rejection.There are million girls out there for you.This thinking will make you more confident and carefree.
4.Always talk to her in a good vibe and energy.Make jokes and try to make the conversation light and playful.Women like it when men are carefree.
5.Women love compliment.Give her some genuine compliment when ever you get a chance.This will have positive effect for you.
My beloved and I don’t have boundaries. Married 47 years, most of them happy (it’s an old Henny Youngman joke). Tossed out boundaries decades ago. LOL!!
Expectations? When we met, I just expected that he would love me deeply, long and hard.
No complaints in that area! Gets better every day.
I do have a lot of posts in my Content about love, marriage and relationships, and I am quite certain I have addressed most if not all of the issues that you are worried about. You are welcome to scroll through my Content and access any post that you might find interesting or helpful. Make sure you have time -
My beloved and I don’t have boundaries. Married 47 years, most of them happy (it’s an old Henny Youngman joke). Tossed out boundaries decades ago. LOL!!
Expectations? When we met, I just expected that he would love me deeply, long and hard.
No complaints in that area! Gets better every day.
I do have a lot of posts in my Content about love, marriage and relationships, and I am quite certain I have addressed most if not all of the issues that you are worried about. You are welcome to scroll through my Content and access any post that you might find interesting or helpful. Make sure you have time - there are almost 5,000 of them!!
Enjoy, bubala!
First off, you are not the only one in this position. I work with many men similar to yourself. The good news is change can happen and just taking a few small actions per day and changing a bit of the way you think of yourself can make a huge impact, and help get you what you want, an awesome relationship.
Understand this might take time, and that's okay. There might be days where you have a big win, and others where you feel like you failed a little, it all makes for a great story that you can share with others to help them. Next start by taking small action, you want to get more confident, r
First off, you are not the only one in this position. I work with many men similar to yourself. The good news is change can happen and just taking a few small actions per day and changing a bit of the way you think of yourself can make a huge impact, and help get you what you want, an awesome relationship.
Understand this might take time, and that's okay. There might be days where you have a big win, and others where you feel like you failed a little, it all makes for a great story that you can share with others to help them. Next start by taking small action, you want to get more confident, read books on being confident, read books on being a sales person they have to appear confident (even when they are not). Next make it your goal to talk to 1 new person a day (anyone from a grocery store clerk, to asking someone on the street for the time). This helps take away the fear of talking with others. Next aim to go to a social place (could be a bar or elsewhere) start to speak with women, that's it. Then once comfortable with that start to ask out women whom you speak with, at this point don't worry on rejection the more you are rejected the better because it gets you comfortable with it, and the good thing is you'll probably surprise yourself and get more yes's than you thought. This is a very short brief view of action steps you can take to start to get out there more and date to eventually find someone that is a good match for you.
Lao Tze said it best:
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you STRENGTH.
Loving someone deeply gives you COURAGE.”
The other side of courage yields Confidence.
Let go of your tethers, release your expectations, GO LOVE SOMEONE DEEPLY.
You will find your self and your confidence will know no bounds.
As you do, you will naturally develop your love through three levels, arriving at the top with a power to match your confidence, joy beyond bounds, and wisdom to execute any task set before you.
You may also wish to review my post at Kimberly Davis Wallis's answer to Is the Golden Rule really the best advi
Lao Tze said it best:
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you STRENGTH.
Loving someone deeply gives you COURAGE.”
The other side of courage yields Confidence.
Let go of your tethers, release your expectations, GO LOVE SOMEONE DEEPLY.
You will find your self and your confidence will know no bounds.
As you do, you will naturally develop your love through three levels, arriving at the top with a power to match your confidence, joy beyond bounds, and wisdom to execute any task set before you.
You may also wish to review my post at Kimberly Davis Wallis's answer to Is the Golden Rule really the best advice? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Doesn’t it make us want others to want what we want?
In service…
Dear Stranger,
You should work on your inner critics before building confidence during the date. Its have been polarised to be confident, glowingly perfect during the date. Trust me that date will be the best date of your life in which you will act to be confident. But not the best relationship you could have. Being what you are in without act of thought that person will accept or reject you.
Your ability to outsight the date is nowhere related to getting a better partner. Dating is more about the psychological play where you judge and let others judge whether you both are a good fit for each ot
Dear Stranger,
You should work on your inner critics before building confidence during the date. Its have been polarised to be confident, glowingly perfect during the date. Trust me that date will be the best date of your life in which you will act to be confident. But not the best relationship you could have. Being what you are in without act of thought that person will accept or reject you.
Your ability to outsight the date is nowhere related to getting a better partner. Dating is more about the psychological play where you judge and let others judge whether you both are a good fit for each other. Let's not be anxious about it that you are not good to be dated kick in.
Thanks
Adi
Same as you build confidence in men!
Men and women are surely different. Their normal way to feel, their capacities, their specialities are different. But ultimately all human are same.
Now confidence building:
General points:
- Make her understand her importance.
- Allow her to stay what she is!
- Make her feel special.
- Let her do what she really wants!
- Praise her. Admire her.
- Let her see her own dreams.
For community purpose: You are a social leader who wants to do something for woman empowerment.
If you are someone big personality, everyone will believe whatever you say. So say truth and try to make those f
Same as you build confidence in men!
Men and women are surely different. Their normal way to feel, their capacities, their specialities are different. But ultimately all human are same.
Now confidence building:
General points:
- Make her understand her importance.
- Allow her to stay what she is!
- Make her feel special.
- Let her do what she really wants!
- Praise her. Admire her.
- Let her see her own dreams.
For community purpose: You are a social leader who wants to do something for woman empowerment.
If you are someone big personality, everyone will believe whatever you say. So say truth and try to make those fragile minds firm.
If you are simple worker, go and get some popularity. In any field. No one will believe in advice from same or inferior level although however good your intentions are.
For personal purpose : There is a woman ij your life, you want to feel confident about herself.
Depends on your role in her life. How much she trusts you and how much she follows you.
You are ideol for her.
Be it father, brother, any celebrity or any person. She wants to work like you. The simple sentence will work, “I trust you can do more better than I did.”
You are in position of trust with her.
Again be it husband, brother, father, good friend. If she trust you, you have to put a belief in her mind that she can do it. You can discuss with her. Show examples. Make her see environment from your eyes. Tell her that “I trust you, so whom else do you want!?” your beliefs are mimp for her.
When you are superior personality. Her boss/Professor.
Same. You are ideol for her to some extent and to some extent, she cares about what you think about her work most.
When you want her to be confident, but you are not in her circle.
Nothing possible. You have to win her trust first. No one believes stranger!