The only thing you can do is put your best foot forward.

1. Put up your best pics. Groom yourself, Google how to take a good selfie. How to smile etc etc. A selfie is a skill. With lighting,smile techniques, angles. Don't assume your naturally good at it.
2. Write a bio. Take about yourself. Make it very easy for me to: ask you a question, comment on something you do. Laugh at a joke you make. Etc. I use a few apps and I've written I like a certain author. Many girls start conversations with me talking about their books.
3. Be the type of person you would like to date. If you have no hobbies. Get some. If you hate how you look, groom yourself. Etc etc. Be the person you would want to date in the world.
4. Respond. Respond to everyone. Chatting with women. Being open and honest while still being interesting. Is a skill. Practice makes it.
5. Make the first move. Talk first, let your ego go. After chatting for awhile. Instead of chatting all night over text, stop and ask them out.
6. Go on every date you can. Dating is a skill. Practice it. Knowing places to go, interacting with people, being comfortable with yourself. All take practice.
7. Lastly. Be honest with what you want. To yourself and to the people you date. If your just in it for casual flings say so. Yes, many people won't want that. But your not wasting their time. And people will appreciate that. If you want more say so. Not in a hey I want to marry you way. Just let them know your after something long term. Dating is testing compatibility.

One of the biggest factors will be how others react to your profile picture. It was the first thing they saw. While the content of your opening message will determine whether someone clicks on your profile, this is a small thumbnail that will determine whether they open the message at all.

It's not a universal rule, but take women-the more information a woman receives every day, the more critical she becomes. Have you ever deleted an open message based solely on a thumbnail? I think everyone does this at some point.

Now you see. Most attractive women don't even open all the information because they're too lazy to filter it. You have to assume that a quick look at the thumbnails is the only way she can decide whether or not to open the information, so if your main image isn't the only good one you have, you're at a disadvantage. No cheesy nude photos, no sultry official photos, no myspace-style self-portraits-you want a picture that shows you're a relaxed, fun person with an active social life.

Do’s

Embrace specificity. If you’re looking for someone who wants to travel the world with you, say so. If you want to sit on the couch watching ESPN all day, say so. There are both kinds of people out there. Don’t say vague stuff like “I’m funny and I want someone to laugh with.” I’ve rarely read a funny bio.

Don’ts

No physical requirements whatsoever. Zero. Zilch. Nada. You’re already going to be exchanging photos, so don’t risk turning the other person off by stating you’ll only date people ten years younger and below (women do this too), slim, etc. (or tall, muscular). This screams superficial.

Just my two cents:

1. Represent yourself positively but honestly. Use current photos, don’t lie about your hobbies, etc. Misrepresentation might get you some first dates, but probably not any seconds.
2. When messaging someone, take your time to craft a decent message. Your message doesn’t have to be too long, but note something that you liked about their profile (other than their looks) and maybe compliment them on something. Ask a question if you can as that helps generate more conversation.
3. Avoid decision paralysis. Online sites connect you with potentially hundreds of dates. Don’t obsess over which ones to message or respond to. If someone seems interesting and nice, send them a message. You didn’t capture your entire personality in your profile, so do them the courtesy of not assuming they did.
4. Don’t look for someone who ticks every single one of your boxes. As long as there’s a few things you like about them and no big red flags, go for it. If you find yourself wondering whether to message someone or not err on the side of saying “yes”. You’ll go on more dates that are duds, but you’ll have a much better chance of finding a real relationship than if you keep yourself on the shelf waiting for the exact perfect person. You’ve got a much better chance of hitting the bullseye if you take 15 shots instead of trying to hit it in one go!
5. After a few messages, arrange to meet in person. The only dates that count are the ones in meatspace.
6. Coffee dates are “date zero”. The average online first date is going out to a coffee house together for an hour. This is a good practice, as it allows you to screen for threatening or truly awful people without risking much time or putting yourself into an unsafe space. HOWEVER, be aware that an hour of cold conversation over coffee is just about the most boring date that can be imagined. You will NOT get butterflies in your stomach over someone on such a date because you’ve stacked the deck against that happening right from the start.
   
   So don’t treat that first coffee date as the first date, treat it as “date zero”, a little pre-date to get to know the other person. If they’re nice, they put in a little effort, and they don’t come off as actively creepy or dangerous, then go on another date with them! Make it a real date the next time too, something with an activity the two of you can share, even if it’s just eating together or taking a walk in the park. A walk together in the park followed by a meal at a small restaurant is a great first date actually, infinitely more fun and interesting than getting a coffee together.
   
   After that real first date, if you still don’t really like the person, then you can tell them you don’t want to go out again. You’ve avoided the classic online dating mistake of quitting too early. Online dating can fool people into not putting in enough effort into each prospect to see if they’re a decent match. Don’t fall into that trap.
7. Use online dating to meet people, but don’t neglect your friends and your real-world social life. Your real-world social life and your dating life and symbiotic. Spending time with friends is a must for anyone who wants to find a partner. Not only can you meet a lot of people through your friends (friends of friends are great dating prospects), but having friendships also keeps your social skills well-oiled and ready to go. It is very difficult to find a boyfriend or girlfriend if you have no friends.
   
   If you’re searching for online dates, you should also be going out more too. Meeting people is good for you socially, and to do that you have to leave the house and go to events and things like that. I know that this can be hard, especially if you work a lot, but it really is one of the best things you can do to help you find love. Get out of the house. Be social. Meet new people. Use online dating as well.
   
   Use the “social action plan” method if you’re not going out enough. Invite someone to do something once per week, and accept all invitations that come your way. That last part is key. Accept all invitations (unless they’re really unreasonable). The friend everybody wants to have is the friend who shows up.
8. Keep at it. Dating success doesn’t happen overnight. It really is worth it in the end though. The right match can be one of the best things you do to improve your happiness in life.

When trying to date someone from an online dating site, it is important to avoid certain behaviors and mistakes to increase your chances of success. Here are some things to avoid:

1. Being dishonest: Avoid lying or exaggerating about yourself, your interests, or your intentions. Honesty is crucial for building trust and starting a genuine relationship.

2. Moving too fast: Rushing into meeting in person or jumping into a serious relationship too quickly can be overwhelming and may scare the other person away. Take your time to get to know each other gradually.

3. Neglecting communication: Lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings and frustration. Make sure to respond to messages in a timely manner and actively engage in conversation to show your interest.

4. Being overly pushy or aggressive: Respect the other persons boundaries and avoid pressuring them into doing things they are not comfortable with. Take things at a pace that both of you are comfortable with.

5. Making it all about yourself: Show genuine interest in the other person by asking questions and actively listening. Avoid dominating the conversation and ensure its a balanced exchange.

6. Ignoring red flags: Pay attention to any warning signs or inconsistencies in the other persons behavior or stories. If something seems off, its important to trust your instincts and proceed with caution.

7. Neglecting safety precautions: When meeting someone from an online dating site, prioritize your safety. Always meet in a public place, inform a friend or family member about your plans, and trust your intuition if something feels unsafe.

8. Having unrealistic expectations: Keep in mind that not every connection will lead to a long-term relationship. Avoid putting too much pressure on yourself or the other person and be open to the possibility of making new friends or having short-term dating experiences.

Remember that online dating is just a means to meet people, and its essential to approach it with an open mind and a realistic outlook.

Online dating presents a number of amazing opportunities to connect with like-minded people and potential romantic partners. but some seniors may be intimidated by the idea of online dating, the truth is , it’s very easy to get started.😄😄😄

1. If you’re dating, you will need smart, freshly washed clothes, a good haircut, and fresh breath: this assumes you want to succeed.
2. We all have stories, so just don’t let your past story take over.
3. Learning to value yourself even when she/he turns you down. And try to enjoy the dates, even when they lead to nowhere.
4. You may be looking for another settled relationship. Part of being a senior single is staying open to what’s possible, here and now, learning to embrace surprises, and don’t forget to be gracefully flexible.

Around 6 months ago, I was approached by a startup to freelance for them. They wanted a small team of writers and UX designers to break down dating apps and tell them what is it exactly that one would need to build the perfect dating app.

The project was shut down last month due to funding issues. This allows me to divulge some interesting data that we tracked over 14–15 weeks on various apps like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and TrulyMadly.

I will share some insights from Tinder and Bumble only as they are the most popular dating apps out there.

We created two groups of profiles for the study, with pictures of real people. (Apt permissions were taken from everyone). Some of the information on the bio was manipulated to understand the general trends etc.

The first group of profiles included men and women who were visually attractive according to society’s standards. (Extra emphasis on this statement!)

The second group of profiles included men and women who were not visually attractive according to society’s standards.

One interesting thing that we observed was that women from both the groups got matches on a daily basis except for that one profile which did not have any display picture.

Other facts included:

1. Men’s profiles with real and visually attractive pictures, linked to social accounts, and lots of pictures got matches consistently. One of the profiles did not even have any bio, and it still got matches.
2. Men’s profiles which had brilliantly written captions, witty captions, and humorous quotes had almost 75% fewer matches in both the groups.
3. The second group compared to the first (visually attractive) group had almost 95% fewer matches.
4. Profiles that mentioned IIT, IIM, and similar colleges had higher matches even in the second group.
5. Present job and company were not much of a factor in both the jobs.
6. Profiles in which people were wearing or displaying high-popularity brands like Apple, Levis, Reebok, Nike, etc got almost 70% matches.
7. Women in the less visually attractive group got around 45% fewer matches.
8. Men who looked muscular had more matches, women who posted selfies had lesser matches, overall people who had professional photographers click their pictures had a higher match rate.
9. Men with visible nerves on their arms, neatly set hair, without spectacles, had higher matches.
10. Women with a fair complexion had 60% higher matches compared to a dark complexion.
11. In some of the profiles, we had deliberately placed pictures of luxurious holidays and photoshoots. These profiles had much more matches compared to people posing with pets or reading a book.

There were around 32 data points like these. We never messaged or interacted with any of the matched profiles. It opened my eyes once again to what exactly people out there fantasize about.

When people say, they like a person with a sense of humour, responsibility, success, blah, blah, blah in the opposite sex, you will be surprised at how many people just look at the pictures when it comes to online dating.

As one of the people in the small team pointed out in the end:

“These apps act more like a justification to people who want to be told they are attractive in nature, that someone would actually take interest in them against so many other people out there.”

If you ask me, yes there are a lot of success stories out there when it comes to dating apps, but those numbers as a percentage would be very meager. As much as it sounds exciting unless you fall into a select category from group 1, you would have to be extremely lucky to actually find someone worthwhile.

“Online dating doesn’t suck, too many people suck at online dating!”

Here are some things, I think everyone should keep in mind while dating after the death of a spouse:

1) Don't hide your status as a widow/er. Being upfront about your loss can help you connect with someone who understands and respects your journey.

2) Don't rush into anything. Allow yourself to heal before diving back into the dating scene. Take things slowly and focus on building genuine connections.

3) It's okay to set boundaries about how much you share about your late spouse and your grief journey. You don't have to relive the past on every date.

4) Research online dating platforms that cater to widow/ers or offer a more mature and respectful environment. One such platform is Rematch, meant for widowed, separated, and divorced Indians.

5) Always meet in a public place for the first few offline dates and let someone know where you're going and who you're meeting.

Online dating can be a great way to meet new people and find love again.

1. Find the right site(s) that work for you. Trying to meet someone on Tinder probably won’t work. Try Ourtime, Plenty of Fish, Silver Singles and or Match.
2. Have nice photos. At least one that shows your face and one that shows your full body. Think about having a pro take photos.
3. Don’t limit yourself any more than you have to. Profiles that have long lists of people who should not respond. I am sort of turned off by profiles that go:, no one over 20 miles, college graduates only, no one shorter than 6 feet, no smokers, no one who voted for Trump, etc, etc, They strike me as someone who would be a PITA.
4. Be active in contacting people you might be interested in.
5. Spell check your profile info. Typo’s can make you seem stupid. A well written profile can help a lot.

A couple of years ago I saw a headline on MSN that read something like “12 tips for great success on dating sites. I thought oh, great I may get some good ideas. It was the stupidest thing I ever saw and would do more harm that good, They went something like 1. Lie about your age, 2, Photoshop your photos or use old photos. 3 Lie about your income. 4. Lie about your education. I think that is terrible advice. It may get you some first dates you would not get otherwise but the real you will prevail and you will just end up wasting time and disappointing yourself and the person you meet. Being hones pays.

Arrange to meet them in in a public place for coffee .. and then go home alone afterwards .. you just don’t know them well enough yet for more.

Meet them as soon as possible because 90% of what we grasp/read about another comes ONLY from those subtle signals we can pick up only when together in person. And the longer we communicate online without meeting in person, the more we build up a fantasy about the person .. and that fantasy causes us to miss the cues when we meet them in person. We can become quite delusion and end up getting in trouble if we spend too much time online with them .. which is why you want to cut to the chase and meet them face-to-face as soon as possible.

ALSO, do NOT tell them where you live. Do NOT give them your land-line phone number (if you have one). Do NOT tell them WHERE you work or give them any other clues that would allow them to track you down if you judge them to be unsafe .. and you cannot judge that until you have met them in person at LEAST once .. often more times than that.

After the initial meeting, the next stage would be to get together with them AND their friends at some public venue .. or invite them to join you and your friends. You really need time dating in a group and/or in public places before you want to go home with them or let them go home with you .. before you go somewhere private where there would be no help if they turned out to be dangerous.

We learn about people by seeing them in their environment .. how they interact with their friends, with your friends, with strangers in general. Take your time .. you only have one life to lose, and there are a lot of wacko’s out there, and also a lot of players. If you do NOT have sex right away, that will eliminate the players.

Be realistic.

If you are a 59 year old man, don’t look for 23 year old women. The only ones who will answer you are scammers.

Look for someone local. If they are in a different country, they have no intention of ever meeting you.

Read profiles. Seriously, you see a photo of a hot woman and ignore the big writing beside it saying, “I AM A LESBIAN” and you wonder why you are not getting dates?

Do not start with your dick. Don’t send dick pix or nudes unless you are specifically asked for one. Talk about non-sexual things you have in common.

Move to meet for coffee or a casual drink in a neutral place, that way you can see if you have real life chemistry.

Don’t expect a lot of personal information until you’ve met in person. Do the same.

Most in person dates will result in “Nice person, not for me”. This is normal, it’s not a result of online dating being defective. Most people you meet are nice people you don’t want to date. Eventually you’ll meet the one that you do want to see again and again.

Be upfront about your kinks or desires. If you are into feet or BDSM or are poly, say so early on. Yes, you’ll lose a significant proportion of people at this stage, but the ones who remain are on the same page as you.

NB - don’t be creepy about the feet. A lot of foot fetish guys are.

When navigating online dating, avoiding certain behaviors and pitfalls is crucial for building positive connections. Here are things to avoid when trying to date someone from an online dating site:

1. Overly Aggressive Approaches:

Avoid being overly aggressive or persistent. Respect the other person's boundaries and give them space to express their comfort levels.

2. False Representation:

Be authentic and avoid misrepresenting yourself. Using outdated photos or providing inaccurate information can erode trust and harm the potential for a genuine connection.

3. Ignoring Red Flags:

Pay attention to red flags, such as inconsistent stories, requests for money, or avoiding personal meetings. Ignoring these signs can lead to undesirable situations.

4. Too Much Too Soon:

Avoid moving too quickly in the relationship. Building a connection takes time, and rushing things may make the other person uncomfortable.

5. Invasive Questions:

Steer clear of overly invasive or personal questions early in the conversation. Respect the other person's privacy and allow the relationship to develop organically.

6. Neglecting Safety Precautions:

Prioritize safety. Always meet in public places for the first few dates, inform a friend or family member about your plans, and trust your instincts if something feels off.

7. Neglecting Communication:

Regular communication is essential. Avoid long periods of silence without explanation, as it may create uncertainty or misunderstandings.

8. Being Too Passive:

While being respectful, avoid being too passive. Express your intentions and make an effort to plan activities or dates to show genuine interest.

9. Ignoring Communication Preferences:

Pay attention to the other person's communication preferences. If they prefer messaging over calling, or vice versa, try to accommodate their preferences.

10. Unrealistic Expectations:

Avoid setting unrealistic expectations. Understand that not every connection will lead to a long-term relationship, and that's okay.

11. Ghosting:

Ghosting, or suddenly cutting off communication without explanation, can be hurtful. If you decide not to pursue the relationship, communicate your decision respectfully.

12. Excessive Negativity:

Constant negativity can be draining. While it's okay to discuss challenges, avoid overwhelming the conversation with negativity.

13. Ignoring Boundaries:

Respect the other person's boundaries. If they express discomfort or hesitation, acknowledge their feelings and give them the space they need.

14. Ignoring Personal Growth:

Online dating is an opportunity for personal growth and learning. Avoid staying in a comfort zone and be open to new experiences and perspectives.

By navigating online dating with respect, authenticity, and awareness, you can create a positive and enjoyable experience for both yourself and the potential partner you're connecting with.

Here are three key tips for safe and private dating in older age from the MillionairesChat:

1. Use Trusted Platforms: Stick to well-known, reputable dating sites or apps that offer strong privacy protections and verify users to reduce the risk of scams.
2. Keep Personal Information Private: Avoid sharing sensitive details (like your home address, financial info, or workplace) early on. Keep conversations light until you build trust.
3. Meet in Public Spaces: For initial dates, choose public places for safety. Always tell a friend or family member your plans, including where you're going and who you're meeting.

The Art of a Great First Message 💡

Starting a conversation shouldn’t feel like an interview. Instead of the usual "How’s your day?", try something that sparks interest and makes it easy to reply:

💬 "If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be?"

This keeps things engaging, shows curiosity, and helps you learn more about the person beyond just surface-level chat. A great connection starts with a great conversation!

💡 Give it a try and see how the conversation flows!

I have used every possible kind of dating service possible, the free, the paid for - everything. I have met in my life probably 1500 different women. You can condemn me later for whatever reason, and you might be right in your criticism but that is not what this is about right now.

I have always been surprised, even shocked by how foolish some women in the online dating world can be. Online dating can be much like going to a bar to meet someone but in some ways it isn’t - at least in a bar, you can see whom you are talking to and you know at least that they are real people and so on. With online dating, you don’t really know anything.

When you make a profile, it asks you to describe yourself and put up a photo and often it asks for the town you live in. When making your profile use the next town over - never your real town. Never put in your exact profession. Never put in pictures of your kids and never name them. You want to meet someone but you must maintain your safety and privacy until strangers have earned your trust. With all the tools on the internet now, it is so simple for me to track down a woman who thinks she is anonymous on the internet because she doesn’t use her last name in her profile. It’s easy. And I’m not a stalker.

If you start meeting with someone, focus more on the “interests, hopes, and dreams”. Do not focus on occupation. Be vague about it until you get to know someone better. All relationship building is about trust and the more you reveal about the unimportant details of your life like location, job and so on, the more information you give to a person you shouldn’t trust who can use it to find out everything about you.

Spend as much time as you want chatting online. If you move to text or phone, remember that you’re giving your phone number away, a critical piece of safety information. Some women block the number so the recipient can’t see it. That’s just smart. If you text, you are extending a lot of trust credit to someone.

Remember: trust is like a credit card and if you extend too much too soon, you’re likely to get someone who will abuse and burn you. Trust is given in drops and lost in buckets. Make your potential partner earn every drop. Note that a lot of men online are married and looking for fun; some are picture collectors, some want phone/esex; some want a real relationship. In my worthless opinion, for ever 100 contacts, perhaps 1 will be someone you like and who likes you back. There are four potential situations: you like them, they don’t like you; they like you but you don’t like them; you both don’t like each other; you both like each other. The most desirable outcome, you both like each other, happens the least by far.

Most men you meet are going to be interested in sex. That doesn’t make them bad. It’s the way it is. You cannot judge them for that but you can judge them on how they act. If all they are after is sex they will be pushing hard early for it, for nudes, for esex, for meeting at a motel, etc. It’s okay to want sex: we are sexual creatures. But if you are looking for a relationship make sure you investigate the man’s motives because if he just wants fast sex, it will be apparent. In the old days when Craigslist still had Personals until the Republican FOSTA act put them out of business, “Casual Encounters” usually meant hookers; “Seeking Relationship” meant sex right away and “Strictly Platonic” meant sex after three dates. Being an expert at Craigslist in the old days, I can tell you this joke has a lot of truth to it.

You should agree to meet up sooner rather than later. You’re not looking for a penpal and unless the phone sex is amazing, you need to make it real. No matter how good he sounds, no matter how articulate, no matter how much his opinions mirror yours, you aren’t going to be able to make your choice till you meet. So save everyone some time and agree to meet. Meet at a public location. Take your own vehicle. Do not agree to be picked up anywhere or dropped off anywhere. Do not get walked home. Meet during regular hours where people can see you and where people can congregate.

Always Always Always let someone know where you are going and when you expect to be back. Make sure you leave a note on the table with whatever you know about this guy so that if you are abducted, or worse, killed, the police have leads. This is extreme but you need to think of your safety. “Expect the best but plan for the worst.”

Plan for a one hour coffee meeting. Don’t go out for drinks; don’t meet for dinner. The first meeting is not a date. It’s an interview. Meet at Starbucks, pay for your own coffee, don’t leave it unattended and then do your work. If you’ve reached this stage, the guy has something about him you like. Now you have to fit his physical appearance into your assessment. Believe me, for most people this is the critical moment. Most people know within 30 seconds if there is going to be another date and the only thing a partner who gets the nod can do is decrease his chances of a second date by talking or acting himself out of it. If you want a second date, be clear about it. Men are clumsy creatures and need explicit instructions. If he likes you, really likes you, he is going to be parsing everything you say and often taking the negative view. If you like him, be enthusiastic about a “real” date. It will be an enormous thing for him.

If you meet someone you like and you go on a few dates remember that this person is still more of a stranger than anything else. Keep extending trust in drops, expect an occasional pass and don’t be too judgemental about it - men can’t make progress without taking risks. You don’t have to cave and you don’t have to be a jerk. If you think there’s a chance of intimacy sometime down the road, tell him to be patient. If he’s cool, he’ll wait. It not, you’ve learned something important to add to your “discriminators”.

Do not be intimidated by people who tell you how to feel. I cannot tell you how many women can be browbeaten into dating someone they don’t like because they have been convinced that to not do it would make them “bad” or “racist” or “prejudiced against (fill in the blank)”. You have the absolute right to like or not like anyone you want to for any or no reason and you cannot be judged for that. Only go out with people who make you feel good about yourself and whom you actually like. Never be intimidated into dating people you don’t like because it “makes you look bad”. Forget that. Date whom you like.

If you meet someone and start dating, once you get to the intimacy part, it’s time to have a serious convo with yourself and them. If you are having sex you shouldn’t be kissing or dating anyone else any more and neither should they, unless you are both up front about the casual nature of the relationship. After a few months or an explicit agreement, you should disable your dating profile. Once you’re in a relationship you need to close your heart to other opportunities and focus on what’s in front of you.

One of the biggest pitfalls of online dating is “The Grass is Always Greener Syndrome”. The problem with online dating is that you can fall into the trap of “this guy is good but there MAY be someone better.” You can lose a good thing if you’re always searching. Settling for someone doesn’t mean settling for second best. It means you’ve found enough of what you need to be content. It doesn’t mean forever - it means for now. And if you are involved and getting intimate and becoming trust partners, then you need to think about stopping looking for “something better”. There are no perfect people or situations and if you keep looking, you can end up alone and wondering what happened. I am always struck by the story of the lonely man, dying on his deathbed having never found love. When they asked him why he never found the perfect girl, he told them he had - but she wouldn’t have him. She was looking for the perfect man.

Character tells and any man can fool you by his words. “Everyone lies,” says Dr. House on the television show. But character is hard to hide in actions. Note how someone treats the busboy, the waitress, the panhandler outside, even how he treats or talks about his family. Behavior speaks louder than words. If he shorts the tip or brags about shoplifting or other petty crimes/misdeeds then character is lacking. You need to find someone who mirrors your values. “Opposites attract” is bullshit. And make sure you don’t mistake verbal abuse for honesty. Many women are lulled into thinking that guys giving them shit are just being honest. You can be a bad person and be honest too. Never accept any kind of abuse, even as a joke. And remember: how he treats other people is how he is going to treat you in six months when the newness is gone.

Online dating is about safety first, building trust and accepting what you find if it’s good for you. If you don’t know what you’re goals are (casual sex, dating, marriage) and you don’t know what you really want, then it will be harder to find it. Make a list of all the things you want in a mate and prioritize, then look at the top ten. If you can get any five, you’re doing really well.

Online dating is convenient, fun and so easy and it can work if you are clear about your goals, open to exploration and changes to your mindset and if you are focused on the basics - safety and trust.

Be clear about what you’re looking for and choose your forum accordingly. Are you looking for love, or to expand your social circle, or for a friend with benefits, or just a one-off hookup? From more focused on the relationship aspect to more interested in sex, there are three broad groupings:

1. most conventional: OKCupid and plentyoffish and rsvp,
2. balance of sex and dating - tinder,
3. totally sex-oriented are sites/apps like adultfriendfinder, fetlife and fling.

For women who are primarily interested in sex, you have a huge numerical advantage in the final category.

Put effort into your profile. This can’t be stressed enough. Be truthful, but put some effort into it. There’s no point lying about who you are or what you’re interested in, because the person reading it will find out the truth when they meet you.

A special word on profile pictures. Lots of people seem to avoid putting pictures on their profile, I think from the misguided view that they’re afraid of rejection. Not putting any pictures on your profile, or just putting pictures of objects, is the number one mistake I see people making.

Of course people want to know what you look like - you’re virtually guaranteed that everybody is going to just flick past your profile if there are no pictures of you on it. If you put pictures of you on it, sure, you may not be many people’s cup of tea, but you are going to be somebody’s - without pics, nobody knows! Even that somebody whose type you are has no chance of finding you without the pictures being there. If people looking at your profile aren’t interested in you, give them the chance to find out now and reject you without you ever even having to know, rather than having to suffer the hurt of having them reject you to your face.

The absolute best strategy is to put some flattering but realistic pictures of you on your profile. Some should be casual and some more dressed-up, so that people see you in a variety of contexts.

Don’t just put group pictures of you with your friends - it can be too confusing for viewers trying to sort through a heap of group photos figuring out who the common person is and which one is the person whose profile it is. Crop group pictures to highlight you.

Back to the profile text! Tell readers about some of your actual hobbies and interests. Not things you wished you did but what you actually do. Tell them things that give an idea about who you really are. If you have dealbreakers, then state what they are and save both of you time. If you have a sense of humour, then show it in your profile.

For example, one of mine includes this paragraph:

‘I don’t do outdoors (maybe if there's awesome WiFi), I don't think motor sports are sports, I prefer not to camp, and I only exercise in the bedroom. I love five star hotels, air-conditioning, intelligent people, social justice, reading and writing, Netflix, and have difficulty turning my brain off.’

It gives the reader a flavour of who I am.

Safety. It’s a different world than when we (probably) last dated 20 years ago! Be aware of the common scams, and keep your wits about you, but don’t be cynical. Yes, there are lots of scams and jerks out there, but there are lots of great people, too. Be aware of the main pitfalls, and always be safe, but don’t get too cynical and miss out on all the potential great dates you could have.

Some things to beware of: Dating & romance

Every time I’m going out on a date, I text the details of the person I’m going out with, their profile name and any other information I have - their phone number or full name or facebook profile and where I’m meeting them etc - to a trusted girlfriend, and what time I expect to be home, and then let her know when I’m home safe.

Plus the safe sex thing: if you’re having sex with multiple people, talk to your primary health care provider, but my general practitioner recommends quarterly full battery of tests for sexually transmitted infections.

Don’t assume single is actually single. Loads of people on online sites are married (or otherwise ‘partnered’) and either in open relationships, or seeking something ‘on the side’ these days. It’s not safe to assume that because they’re on a site, even if their profile lists them as single, that they’re actually single. I always ask early on if they’re single, and to their credit, they usually answer honestly at that point that no, they’re not. But it goes to show that you need to ask if it’s important to you.

Hone your social skills. If you’re interested in somebody, send them something more interesting than “Hey” or “Hello” as an opener. Even “Hi, how are you today?” is better, but better still is something that indicates you’ve read their profile and are interested in them as an individual. So…

“Hi there! I’m a huge fan of The Last Kingdom, too. I really hope they make a Season 3… I’ve heard rumours it’s being filmed in Budapest but nothing firm. Have you heard anything?”

Not only establishes a mutual interest, but the beauty of asking a question is that it instantly gives them something to respond to. They don’t have to think of anything to say because you’ve thought of it for them; they start by answering your question, and the conversation is underway.

Have a goal in mind for the interaction. So you’ve started talking to them - what next? You want to talk for a little while, but just long enough to establish that you’re compatible, but not so long that you become pen friends. Once you think there might be something there, you want to propose stepping things up to your next step, so think what that is. Do you want to propose meeting for a coffee or drink? A meal? A movie? Netflix and chill? Be prepared, and have a date or list of dates ready to propose.

If you follow all of these tips, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t find online dating a lot of fun. There are many, many amazing men and women in their 40s who are online dating and having a lot of fun. You can join us!

A definition of "older” would really help get you the answers you want. I’m going to use 50s as the youngest, and you can determine for yourself whether these suggestions are appropriate.

We older people, at least some of us, do not realize that STDs, including HIV, are still serious issues with people our age, and getting worse in some areas. You are never too old to use, or insist upon, a condom.

Age doesn’t remove the requirement for consent. It does remove every last shred of an excuse for not explicitly obtaining it.

One’s children and grandchildren may be complications if they don’t approve of your date or even the fact that you are dating. There are a million reasons for this, beyond the scope of this answer.

Your date or you may be dealing with hidden health issues. Never fail to ask if he or she would like to visit the restroom before leaving the restaurant, and if that is awkward just say that you are going to do so, which grants your date a sort of permission to do the same. It’s never a bad idea.

Our age does not, however, automatically grant us permission to discuss our health over dinner, or on a walk, or anywhere. People still have rules about what’s an appropriate topic. Break those rules at your own risk.

Two people the same chronological age may have very different amounts of energy, and that can vary from day to day. They need to agree that they will be candid about calling it an evening or sitting and resting awhile. It’s not a statement about how they feel about the other person.

People who have lost spouses are more vulnerable and more likely to say too much. Talking about how much you miss someone can be painful to your date for several reasons, and can result in no more dates with that person. Asking your date to talk about their dead spouse is emotionally invasive and needs to be done with utmost caution.

Young waitresses and waiters don’t always know how to behave with older customers. Try not to be short with them just to impress your date, or because you are irritated, but do understand that your date may not have heard or understood what your server asked. You can repeat what you think you heard, slowly and respectfully, at a volume suited to your date’s hearing. This can appear condescending, so make sure it doesn’t.

Money may be an issue for your date, or for you. Be cautious about bragging about the trip you are planning to take, or complaining about prices. A difference in financial status need not destroy an otherwise pleasant evening, but it sure can.

Your date may have a very different degree of comfort with technology. Make no assumptions and express no judgments unless it’s praise. We’ve reached the point where people feel inadequate if they can’t or don’t use technologies that others find simple. Don’t exacerbate those feelings. And don’t be afraid to say that you have no desire to start using Facebook or Alexa or smartphones. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.

See if you can avoid starting every new conversational topic with “Someone on Quora asked…”

That’s enough for now.

It takes so little effort to stand out as a man. Ask the women in your life about the profiles and messages they see, most dudes are completely fucking hopeless. From being as interesting as a blank sheet of printer paper to being creepy or even hostile.

You don't have to be rich. You don't have to be a model. You just have to be genuine, polite and funny. I had a video on my Hinge profile of me doing a dance routine to an Nsync song in one of those inflatable T-Rex costumes and I had women messaging me no problem.

To my mind, there are three major questions that somebody will ask themselves before they say yes to a date.

1. Can I have fun with this person? This is where your hobbies and sense of humor shine.
2. Is this the kind of person who sleeps on a bed with no sheets in a room that smells like old beer and sweat? This is where some pride in your appearance and home is important.
3. Am I safe with this person? This is where your red flags are. Anything from sending unwanted dick pics to being really into the Jordan Peterson podcast. If you can be trusted not to be an asshole or a creep.

Those are the questions your profile needs to answer

Now that you're over 50, you have to be careful about your choice of lifepartner. After all, you don't still have time to splurge like young people, and you need stability even more now. Therefore, your choice must be long-term and solid. For the dating app and site, I think, others have told you about many online dating platforms before, and what I can recommend is actually the same. But you may not know a niche yet friendly dating app called “CougarD” . Ah, I don’t want to say much about it, and I just want to tell you that my friend found her love on it.

For dating tips, I must say that the most important thing is that your “Three Views” should be consistent. You should discern from your conversations whether the person you are interacting with has a consistent understanding of things as you do. After all, many other things can change, but everyone's thinking is difficult to correct. If the other person and your thoughts are not at the same level, then you will feel very difficult to communicate, at this time, many small problems will be expanded and affect the relationship between the couple. Therefore, as long as the Three Views are consistent, other problems are actually not problems.

Choose profile photos that are an honest illustration of what you look like, but also flattering. Make sure they aren't revealing or risqué.

Keep information like your ultimate call, organization, or neighborhood indistinct or non-public to guard your identification. Don't post your complete call or too many other identifying information.

In your bio, say a few precise matters that spark communication and show your personality, humorousness, values and hobbies. But do not overshare an excessive amount of private information.

If the app lets in, complete identification verification steps to assist affirm you are actual and construct consider.

Be precise about the type of man or woman and relationship you hope to attract on-line. This helps set expectations.

Trust your instincts when speaking to fits. Don't sense forced to meet up before you are geared up or cushty. Meet in public first.

Take things slowly and if some thing seems unusual, regarding or rushed, block that man or woman. Prioritize your protection first.

Tell buddies/own family whilst you are taking place a first date and proportion the vicinity/information with them. Check in with them afterwards.

Have a laugh with it! Building connections takes time. Don't get discouraged. Be open but awareness on excellent over quantity of suits.

The secret is portraying your proper self at the same time as also protecting your privacy until you sincerely get to understand someone. Following protection precautions helps ensure nice stories.