So you are over 50 and still single and looking to find a partner for a casual friendship to crack a joke or two or form an intimate long-term relationship. Either way, you can always find your specific kind of person on many free dating sites for just senior singles. But do you know that you can also meet persons in some of the most common places you visit daily? And it is always good to meet in a person than from a laptop. So let’s look at the best outdoor places to meet your date.

Shopping Malls

Food is essential for everyone and for that you need the necessary ingredients and items. So you can expect people over 50 visiting shopping malls at any point of time during the day. I can give a lot of examples of people meeting over in shopping malls and grocery stores and becoming partners for a lifetime. Because when you see persons who share the same taste as yours in picking up items that suit your taste, you take an instant liking to them. The shopping malls are easy to meet just senior singles.

Concerts and Wine Festivals

Another great place to meet up with seniors over 50 is when you attend concerts and wine festivals. Start up a conversation and talk about their interests and hobbies and see if you can start some kind of relationship if he/she fits into your profile.

Dog Parks

Another great way to meet just senior singles is while taking your pet dog out for a stroll in the park. The more you visit the park you can try to spot regulars and start striking some conversation with them. Try to go slow with your questions and gently try to build a relationship. Make sure to know their timing and go there during that time and try to be regular on all days.

Sporting Events

Sporting events are also a great place to find the partner of your dreams. You can expect a lot of people coming over to the stadium and if you think you like a person, make sure to interact with them during a coffee break or something. If you both support the same team, then it is a good starting point to start up with a conversation.

Coffee Shops

People over 50 would often get bored in their homes and love to spend time out. And you can expect most of them visiting a coffee shop to meet their friends. Just strike a conversation gently about the weather or about his dog or anything you deemed fit. Once you’ve started the conversation, it is up to you to show your sense of your humor and other best qualities to get the other person get attracted towards you.

Hope this article will help you find the partner you are looking for. Browse through all the articles in our site to get more insights about dating for just senior singles and other free senior dating sites.

Now that you're over 50, you have to be careful about your choice of lifepartner. After all, you don't still have time to splurge like young people, and you need stability even more now. Therefore, your choice must be long-term and solid. For the dating app and site, I think, others have told you about many online dating platforms before, and what I can recommend is actually the same. But you may not know a niche yet friendly dating app called “CougarD” . Ah, I don’t want to say much about it, and I just want to tell you that my friend found her love on it.

For dating tips, I must say that the most important thing is that your “Three Views” should be consistent. You should discern from your conversations whether the person you are interacting with has a consistent understanding of things as you do. After all, many other things can change, but everyone's thinking is difficult to correct. If the other person and your thoughts are not at the same level, then you will feel very difficult to communicate, at this time, many small problems will be expanded and affect the relationship between the couple. Therefore, as long as the Three Views are consistent, other problems are actually not problems.

The only thing I can think of is:

Get your act together.

• You are no longer a twenty something new to adulthood. By the time you get to be 40 or 50, it is expected that you have some kind of gravitas in your life, some kind of grounding. You should know where you are going in life, you are approaching retirement age for crying out loud if you are close to 50. If you are 40 or 50 going on 20, you gotta fix that. Most of us have had children, we don’t want to date children.
• Know who you are. Know what you like and don’t like. The time for game playing is past. Be true to yourself and be honest with the women you are with as to who you are. If we aren’t who you want, then don’t waste our time or yours. You are older now, so it should be easier to screen for the person you want to be around.
• Clean yourself up a bit. Having a messy/filthy home, sloppy clothing and a disorganized life doesn’t work once you close in on half a century of living. Not doing basic maintenance and upkeep of your person and home means you are either comfortable with filth, lazy, or depressed to the point where it’s an effort to do basic maintenance, and it’s a turnoff. Show us you can take care of yourself and that you don’t need a mother.
• Clean up your life. If you have habits you know you have to break, break them. If you have hobbies/activities you know you should no longer be doing, quit spending time and money on them. If you have friends or acquaintances you should have kicked to the curb a long time ago because they are abusive, flaky hangers on who waste your time on bullshit, or just plain questionable human beings who are dragging you down, do it. If you have something you want to do with your life, do it. Take those steps toward being the person you want to be.
• Be emotionally ready for a new relationship. If you have emotional trauma, get help for it. If you are still grieving over a loss, take the time you need to get to a place where that grief doesn’t interfere with any relationships you might want to start, when you are ready to live again. Nobody wants to live in someone else’s shadow or bear the brunt of unresolved issues in your life, so take time to heal to the point where you can start another relationship without the ghost of an old relationship or past issues haunting it.

Be realistic.

If you are a 59 year old man, don’t look for 23 year old women. The only ones who will answer you are scammers.

Look for someone local. If they are in a different country, they have no intention of ever meeting you.

Read profiles. Seriously, you see a photo of a hot woman and ignore the big writing beside it saying, “I AM A LESBIAN” and you wonder why you are not getting dates?

Do not start with your dick. Don’t send dick pix or nudes unless you are specifically asked for one. Talk about non-sexual things you have in common.

Move to meet for coffee or a casual drink in a neutral place, that way you can see if you have real life chemistry.

Don’t expect a lot of personal information until you’ve met in person. Do the same.

Most in person dates will result in “Nice person, not for me”. This is normal, it’s not a result of online dating being defective. Most people you meet are nice people you don’t want to date. Eventually you’ll meet the one that you do want to see again and again.

Be upfront about your kinks or desires. If you are into feet or BDSM or are poly, say so early on. Yes, you’ll lose a significant proportion of people at this stage, but the ones who remain are on the same page as you.

NB - don’t be creepy about the feet. A lot of foot fetish guys are.

Dating after 52 (now 56) has been interesting but not surprising. When I was young I saw guys my age now with women in their early 20s. Those relationships didnt last long but looked like they were worth it while they lasted. My own experiences are not how I see the rest of the world, but there's probably others who experience similar.

I spent 2 years with a 10 year younger who I would describe as culturally millenial although born on the cusp of X generation. Its a small age gap, but her music and all other media was definately younger, so “have you seen [film name]?” was often a wasted question. It didnt put me off wide or even age gaps, her cheating did. Moving on.

I have a friend my age who is a widow of a 30 year abusive marriage, had a hyterectomy and so horny shes catching up on decades of crap sex with a thirty something, also abusive. She offered herself to me, but nah! We have alot in common culturally but Im not an alcoholic or drinker.

The dating apps are full of “youve got to be kidding, yuck!” and beautiful east asian women needing visas. I did meet and do some dates with a late forties woman but her over exercising approach to avoiding another mastectomy was too much. She never stops, riding, running, gym, exhausting. And liked alcohol.

The town I live in has more 20 something single women than any other and very few suitable young men. Many men in their 50s here are doing well and many are already with women half their age. And the young dont drink as much as we did.

I can categorize the guys over 50 into groups:

1. Married guys: they almost always mention their wife in the first two minutes of conversation.
2. Divorced guys: they are often competing against their ex-wife through their date, so you’re involved in a triangular relationship. For example, one divorced guy diagnosed his ex-wife with bipolar and kept showing off his allegedly superior parenting skills throughout our date. Due to his unconscious pursuit of revenge against his ex-wife, he was not emotionally present during our date. It was a dinner with three people: one of us was invisible.
3. Widowed guys: Again there are three people at the date. The guy isn’t emotionally present.
4. Single guys: After 50 years old, they apparently don’t need romance, so they don’t have use for women seeking serious relationships. They won’t invest emotionally.

Lots of people will disagree with me, but here is a motto I really believe in : When all else fails, lower your standards!

Now I don’t mean you should start dating someone who just got out of jail and needs a place to stay. (I knew a man who did that and it didn’t end well.) Or that you should put up with abuse, dishonesty, manipulation or the like.

But here’s a common complaint among women your age: Men keep thinking they’re going to find a super-model or a cute little sex kitten, so they aren’t interested in perfectly nice, honest, fun(!) women who are over age 45 or so. A lot of men just keep thinking something better will come along. Let me be honest with you; IT WON’T. If you’re 52 years old, there are very few super-models who would love you for who you are. They might love you for the size of your bank account, if it’s big enough. But is that the kind of love you really want? OK, well, even if it is, you’ll end up worrying that your “young lady” is stepping out on you with some manly young stud.

I had a friend that was in love with a man around your age. But he’d listened to Howard Stern (a shock jock on the radio, for those who don’t know) and he was wedded to the idea that he needed 2 hot young chicks who would have sex with him at the same time. I remember saying, “Oh, yeah, ’cause everyone knows highly-sexed hot young chicks are just dying to have sex with a slightly paunchy, balding CPA!”

So let’s be realistic. If you look like Chuck Norris (and can promise to stay that way) AND you have a lot of money, plus you have a good personality, then you might be able to get the dream girl. (But will you sleep easily at night or will you be worrying about ageing?)

But if you’re a normal guy who is looking for someone who knows where you’re coming from, who has had enough experience with men to understand and enjoy them, whom you can spend time with just being happy and having fun, you’re best bet is to look at women your own age.

This is right up my alley ! I am of that age group, maybe a bit over. I became a widower after 39 years of marriage so dating was new to me. I went online , tried several different sites , and found dating and romance. Some online dating sites are better than others. Some have a poor reputation so be careful and do not touch them. I have dated many ladies, some for a week, month and even 2 years. It is a challenge to start over in love but being single sucks for me anyway. I have found some very nice people out there and some bad ones. Some want to marry within a month , some never do. Some will take you to the cleaners, others will make a home cooked meal for you. I have spent so much on FTD flowers and such that their stock must have gone up. I am a traditional, old fashioned romantic and it is nice to find a lady out there with similar tastes. I do enjoy being in love and having someone love me in return.

I have a lot of advice for people who choose online dating—now, you might not agree with all of it, but from my own experience and the mishaps of my friends who have used this medium to meet new people, here goes:

Don’t go out with anyone you don’t feel super-psyched about meeting. A lot of people will ignore their own dealbreakers or take the attitude that if they play the “numbers game”, something will stick. If you don’t want a LT relationship with a single parent, don’t ask out single parents. If you want to marry someone in your age group, don’t be swayed by someone 10+ years older/younger than you. Pick your battles carefully. Know what you need. Again: don’t be swayed by “compelling” profiles/photos (looks, money, etc.).

Conduct a background check, if you meet someone you’re keen on. Please do this. I cannot count the number of people I know who have unintentionally gotten involved with married people they met online. If you have an attorney friend, ask them to do you a favor and run the person’s name through LexusNexus or a similar database. This won’t tell you everything, but you’ll be assured of the basics—that they’re single, that they work where they say they work, that they haven’t been arrested for a felony, that they’re not in bankruptcy court, etc.

Don’t get talked into joint endeavors that cost a lot of money. I might be a little cautious, but I stay away from dudes who immediately want to “travel” (read: you pay half of the hotel room, and they get a destination f*ck). I’ve heard about a lot of other shenanigans, like scammers trying to get people they met online to sign off on car loans, home loans, business loans. All of these activities should be reserved for after you get engaged or married. And even then …

If you go “exclusive”, make sure they are off the dating site, and all others. This cannot be underscored enough. A lot of people will just “hide” their profile and prowl around on the sly. Don’t take it for granted that they’re ethical until you have proof positive.

Listen to your inner voice—and your instincts. If something seems odd about a person, if they raise red flags in any way, shape, or form, pay close attention to that. Question it. Even if they seem pretty nice in all other ways. Remember, these are total strangers you are meeting; they have no backstory. They have -0- connection to your social circle, so you don’t know anyone who can vouch for their intentions and/or reputation.

TL/DR: Be 100 percent more cautious when you meet someone online than you would if you met them through work, friends, or acquaintances. There are a lot of good people who use online dating, but don’t make the assumption that they are the ones you’ll meet.

Hi, have had 2 very long relationships with men I met online (9 years curently, 12 year previous relationship), as well as several shorter relationships (1 year etc).

My suggestions:

1. You get what you pay for, usually. I had much better luck with Eharmony, a more costly site which also relies on a well respected personality test to match you with prospective partners, than I had with inexpensive or free sites who really do nothing significant to match you with COMPATIBLE individuals. This is especially important if you are seeking a long term, serious relationship versus a “date” or one night stand. On some sites, people are seeking a more casual connection. So do your hunting in the environment matching your needs.
2. Don't be afraid of online dating! Nothing scary has ever happened to me in all the years I used it. HOWEVER, use your intuition. If something feels odd, it probably is! I had less red flag contacts on Eharmony than from other sites, but still, I encountered guys pretending to be Americans living in the States who clearly were NOT (their use of English language when writing were dead give aways to me), and I encountered scary liars telling tragic stories which just had too many holes in them to be true. Now as a therapist for over 30 years, I may have an advantage in spotting inconsistencies and red flags in written replies, so all I can say is watch for inconsistent details and if something feels wrong, block the person. I reported any oddities to the site and every guy I reported got banned from the site!
3. Which leads to…..do not rush from communicating safely on the site to giving the person your phone number/email. I insisted on talking via the site’s safe forum for about 2 weeks or more, sometimes 3 to 4 weeks. If the guy resented that, I cheerfully told him to cease contact if my requirements were too much work. Then if I felt comfortable after 2 or more weeks of on site messaging, I would move to emailing and/or phone calls for another few weeks. Again, if the guy wasn't patient enough to accommodate what I needed to feel safe/comfortable, I would cheerfully say goodbye. So by the time we actually met in person, we had a good rapport established and most of these meetings went well, other than an occasional blooper which was annoying but in no way involved anything scary or unsafe.
4. Be prepared that the majority of contacts WONT work put, and prepare yourself not to take this personally! You only need 1 great match anyway.
5. Be really honest online about who you are, your passions, relationship deal breakers. I saved myself a lot of time and conflict, for example, by stating clearly in my profile that a love of pets is a deal breaker for me, as I am a pet rescue volunteer who will always be a multi pet home.

If you walked into a party and scanned the room, there would be people you found attractive and people you did not. You could observe those people at a distance before making a decision on whether you wanted to approach them or not… things that have nothing whatsoever to do with how they look, what their career is or how they love movies and eating out.

How do they act? Do they seem sincere? Are they having a good time? Is there some spark about them that you find attractive?

Online, you have 5–10 photos and some very awkward questions to use to project yourself but also to determine who the other people are. And everyone is putting their best (and not entirely honest) foot forward to get attention.

Fake photos, very old photos from more youthful days, lies about everything from height and weight to lifestyle are all common among dating profiles. Even with the 100% truth, the information tells you so very little about that person.

All you can do is screen for the most basic attributes and get out there and meet them… but it’s pressure. You aren’t in a room, picking and choosing, getting close or avoiding, you’ve basically told this other person - you have potential to be someone I could be romantic with- let’s meet!

You meet and often you know within literally seconds that this is not going to work. But you are committed to be polite and spend a certain amount of time being pleasant and giving it “a chance.” Then you have to reject, and that feels terrible. Or be rejected and that is just as miserable.

Now, do that twenty times, if you can find twenty actual candidates. Or thirty. You meet people who say, “Let’s be friends” and are perfectly nice and you do some things that are fun and you are “getting out there” but you are no closer to finding someone who could mean something to you. Then you start projecting onto people you haven’t even met yet- you see the danger signs and you just avoid.

And the few that are interesting? There’s this whole weird dance where you try and figure out if you like each other enough to try and make something happen and then communication just stops. Blech.

Now, you’ve gone out with a bunch of people you would have known better than to go out with if you’d met them in person. And in some cases, you’ve hurt their feelings or they’ve hurt yours, stuff that would not have happened if you hadn’t based your date on a 15 year old photo and a few texts.

It’s not terrible but after a while, the whole thing feels gross and unsettling and you decide single is a good way to be. Yes, you can find someone in online dating and yes, it is at least a good way to find people interested in having a relationship but you have to sort through a sea of gross and in the end, there is no guarantee that anyone decent will surface.

The most important point is to guard against scammers. Never disclose any information about money or personal sensitive details to others. When dating, always prioritize safety. You can inform your friends about your whereabouts. In this regard, the website MillionairesChat does a great job.

Find the perfect match to share your passions with on MillionairesChat. Our advanced matching system makes it easier than ever to connect with compatible singles who are also looking for friendship, romance, or a lasting relationship. Start your senior dating journey today and create meaningful connections in no time.

To preface, I always stayed clear of tinder because I was never looking for a hook-up. The app always had certain connotations to me so I stayed off it.

I used OKCupid when I turned 18 and talked to some guys but never went out with anyone. I got scared because I was talking to this one guy for months, and when we finally were able to hang out, he wanted me to come to his house. When I said no, we stopped talking. I think maybe was for the best.

Would reactivate and deactivate that account for the next couple years in conjuncture with how terrible my love life was doing at the time. Bad idea, I'd go on pretty much only as an ego-booster, and still didn't meet anyone in person. I actually ghosted someone pretty bad during this time, which to this day I still feel bad about.

After a heartbreak when I was 20,my sister told me to try Coffee Meets Bagel because she saw it on TV or something and thought it would be good for me. Hardly anyone was on there. I did end up getting a guy's snapchat from it and we talked for months before finally meeting. But I'll get back to that.

I phased out of CMB and made a new OKCupid, and finally met up with my first online date. It was ok, the date activity was fun and he paid for everything, but he kept making a joke that insinuated he was going to rape/murder me which made me uncomfortable. That sounds pretty bad but he was like, trying to make fun of that trope I guess without realizing it was a bad move? He also lied on his profile about his smoking habits which I disliked, and used a very old photo to make himself look thinner. Didn't see him again.

My second online date was with a man from CMB that was the final straw in me deleting the app. He went on this date with me, clearly not attracted to me at all, and he had this high and mighty sense to him, like he was pitying me with the date or something. He promised to take me to this one Cafe I liked, got there before me and ordered without me, decided the place was too crowded and took me to Starbucks without asking if I liked it (I didn't). We had next to nothing in common and to top it off, he said one of the rudest things anyone has ever said to me in such a backhanded way. He essentially asked me how I ever thought I would be good enough for the job I was aspiring towards at the time. His was my second ever date, and after my first date where the guy literally made me so uncomfortable and the bar had been lowered so far, he still managed to be the worst date I've ever been on. STILL.

Took a small break from dating apps then, deleting both those accounts. Finally met up with that previous CMB guy which was the shortest date of my life, but not unpleasant. Like it lasted 30 minutes and I had to hold most of the conversation and buy my own froyo, but he didn't make me uncomfortable in any way until he took a picture of me at the end of the date, which I was unaware of but received on snapchat. That was a strike but I let it go. Continued talking to him after to which he would say things like, “we're meant for each other” and how much he wanted to cuddle me, but never made plans for a second date, even when I asked him. Then he just stopped texting me. I was starting to feel pretty iffy about him at the time so I let him go. He texted me 2 weeks later like nothing happened. I called him out, he said it was a two way street, I decided to forgive it but then he stopped talking again. I just deleted him. I swear to God, he tried to text me 4 MONTHS later like nothing happened again, by which point I had a boyfriend and was just extra annoyed.

Then I got wind of Bumble as a friend making app (I was planning to move cities) and decided to give the dating side of it a try. At first, I didn't have much success with it as having to be the one to start conversations. I was highly selective when swiping, and often didn't so well at conversation starters. After a week or two I got my first conversation properly going and we quickly agreed to meet. At the time, it was the best date I had been on because I felt like we had a connection, although I remember he still had 2 strikes on the date. (My strike system was very stupid, I would come to realize, but basically 3 strikes meant I wasn't going on a second date and would try to end that date as soon as possible.)

I continued to see him for the next month and a half, approximately. This was my first “pseudo-relationship” as I would see him rather regularly with him treating me well and me thinking it was progressing towards something. I had seen him exclusively mostly because that's how I date on principle, because I was genuinely interested in him and wanted a relationship. That was until he said he was seeing multiple other women and didn't want a relationship unless it was with the perfect woman, and a bunch of convoluted bull reasoning on top of that. I struggled with this for a while as I decided if I wanted to keep casually dating him or not but realized it would only hurt me if I did so. We broke it off. I was sad about it at the time but didn't realize how this was a good thing. We weren't even in a relationship and we'd fight, and when I told him I felt like he had been taking advantage of me by not making his intentions clearer sooner, he got really angry. So, turned out to be really good. But I also got experience at relationshipy stuff, which I was very grateful for at the end of it. (Having no experience makes you insecure, ya know? And suddenly that was gone because I had learned how to kiss and stuff.)

Well, I still took a break from online dating to realign myself. I ended up going back a little more than a week later as a sort of, “ha! See? I'm unphased by your rejection” move. At this point it was summer and I really wasn't taking online dating seriously anymore. I just wanted something to do and maybe some free food, then beyond disenchanted with the online dating experience and giving up on finding a connection with someone.

So of course, when you're not looking for it, it hits you like a comet.

First time I open bumble since breaking it off with that guy, I match with a handful of dudes, which half of which lead to conversations, and one of the guys actually keeps the conversation going long enough to lead to a date. A week of chatting and we go out. It was… the most fun first date I had ever been on. Like, I didn't know first dates were capable of being that fun, just because of nerves and all. I became more comfortable with him over the course of our date faster than any other relationship I'd had with anything person. It blew everything out of the water, really. The real miracle was, he felt the same way! We went in a second date and he just got better and better. I decided to remove all hesitations I had as a result of my last dating experience, and planned to ask him his intentions on our third date. He beat me to it however, when he asked me to be his girlfriend!

I no longer online date (thank God that's over) because I'm dating that man to this day, 7 months later. I don't see any signs of this relationship ending anytime soon. We are madly in love and fit together very well. So I suppose the moral of the story is, online dating is a nasty experience, but there are valuable experiences that come from it. If you stop taking it so seriously you'll have a lot more fun. And maybe, just maybe, one day you can connect with someone you would have never met otherwise, and find they were the person you were looking for this whole time, and so much more too.

Online is not face to face. Why would an age difference matter at all? In fact, it there is any compatibility at all, why would age matter at all? Once was an attractive woman that I accidentally met. She was 38 at the time. I was 20 at the time. We had a good friendship that lasted until her passing at 96! This was not a romance, or an affair! We were friends and I treasured that friendship. I was always welcome to come to her home to visit whenever I was in her town. I have met many people from every walk of life that there is. If age is a problem for you, then one of you is probably in the wrong place.

I do.

A little story about my experience-I decided to join POF (plenty of fish) after a friend told me about it,so me being the skeptic that I am,decided to join. I’m not pretty but apparently I'm cute? (So,I've been told by these guys on the site) ANYWAYS,I start talking to all the guys who message me and all that good stuff,but nothing came out of them.Most of them wanted to meet me but I was without a car at the time so I was SOL,until I met this one guy.

We had a lot in common-both loved dogs,Taylor Swift,and when I sent him a picture of myself,I remember him saying ‘i’m so lucky to be talking to a girl like you’ (along those lines).We decided to meet after he got off work (He also lived in another state),but I was able to snag my mom’s car,lie where I was going and we decided to meet at a Dunkin' Donut.I had no clue where I was and went to the wrong Dunkin,but he knew where I was and came to me.I was nervous as hell.Only a few of my friends knew where I was and I was hoping that this date went well.After getting Dunkin & Denny’s,he decides to bring me back to his house where he still lived with his parents.I met them and I had no clue if I was going to ever see them again.

After that first date,we had a second date,and I snuck him over to my house while my family was away.He asked me to be his girlfriend and that was on May 18,2013.

We are still together,just recently bought a house and are the proud parents to two rescue dogs who make our lives complete.

so yes,I had a positive online dating experience and I know that I am one of the few people that have one.I’m glad that I joined when I did or else another girl would've snagged him up.I consider myself very lucky for that.

I’m 49, and honestly, other than the fact that it offers convenience and a large pool, I hate the online dating scene. Although, if you would’ve asked me this fifteen years ago, when I first starting using it, and it was relatively new, my opinion would’ve been much more positive.

Today, online dating is just used as an easy avenue for hooking up; mind you, I’m not judging those that do, it’s not that. It’s just that they claim to be looking for a relationship, when what they are really after is a situationship (to put it nicely), and I’m looking for way more. I want to invest in a relationship for the long-term.

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~ Online dating is like fast food of the relationship realm. ~

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Twice in the past ninety days, I was messaging with a good looking potential date on Zoosk, and before we’ve even MIP, he’s talking about making love, taking a shower together…which, basically told me his opinion of women: we are just tires to be changed out when one is worn or damaged, just find another and swap them out! And, even worse, that women exist to serve a man’s purposes and needs… OMFG!

No thanks, Captain Caveman! I’d rather my vagina dry up and blow away.

Another guy actually said to me in a message - before we’ve even talked on the phone or MIP, “It’ll be so nice to have someone to take my morning friskiness out on.” I guess I was supposed to be flattered or something…Think it was cute or whatever…Trust me: I wasn’t and I didn’t - not one little bit. Grrrr. Get a freaking blow up doll, Dude! I’m not a fifi!

Online dating is so depersonalizing: Hello? Human being with feelings over here!

A man recently contacted me from Idaho. He saw that I live in sunny Phoenix area. In his long opening message, he gave me his best sales pitch: that he is seeking to find someone in my area to marry so that they can summer and winter back and forth; summers in Idaho and winter in Phoenix. And it wasn’t the first time something like this has occurred.

If I wanted to be in a loveless business arrangement, I wouldn’t have divorced.

In all fairness here, I haven’t tried some of the newer sites like Coffee Meets Bagel. For the past few years, I’ve only used Zoosk, OkCupid, Bumble, and POF. It seems like we all just rotate sites or have multiple accounts: I see the same circle of people over and over; usually, they don’t even update their pics and profile. I’ve seen several profiles that say, “new to the online dating world”, when in fact they’ve had that profile for several years!

Like with all things, it’s both good and bad. Sociologically speaking, like all other social systems, dating apps have both manifest and latent functions, and they, too, become exploited and misused. Some people are on there purely for an ego-feed to see how marketable they are.

As the saying goes,“Everything in life is a trade off!

Write a bio that reflects you and what you are looking for. Be honest. But also be positive. No “I don’t want a money grabber” or “If he ain’t gonna pay he can go away” crap. You are doing this to move forward with life so no “I have been hurt so many times before…” shit either. Also nothing overtly challenging “The opposite sex are all awful prove me wrong” milarkey. Not only do statements like that put decent people off it also encourages the bad sorts and the scammers.

Remember that there are all sorts in this world and until you have physically met and spent time with someone getting to know them then its not “real”. Date locally to yourself.

Its OK for someone to ghost you. They have picked up on something that they recognise isn’t going to let it work before you did. And that is OK.

You have to have the hide of a rhino to do internet dating. Regardless of how you look or who you are, you will have people that you speak to who think it is OK for them to be vicious and vile towards you. The trick is to recognise its a reflection on them not you and cut the conversation off fast. Block them. Fast.

Always always always meet in a public place such as a bar or restaurant. Make sure you have your own transport there and enough emergency money to get home safely. Never get drunk on a first date and always make sure that someone knows where you are going, with whom, where you started talking to them etc. Doesn’t matter if you are male or female or what your sexuality is. ALWAYS stay safe and do not put yourself in potentially dangerous situations. Do not go back to someone's house until you have met a few times and have had time to gauge the sort of person they are and if you feel safe. You can give the general area you live in but do not give out specifics about where you live.

If you feel yourself getting worn out take a break. Limit the number of people you speak to at one time so you can get to know them properly and make sure you spend time with friends and family. Keep your life involved and active outside of dating.

Recognise that different people use internet dating differently. Some match or message everyone to see who responds. Others are far more selective. I suggest you go down the selective route. But remember that the person you matched with may not have done that and when you message them they may not get back to you. If you are looking for something long lasting then look for the personality traits that you admire in a person.

Lastly enjoy! Relax, be yourself and enjoy meeting new people. You will learn as you go along and for many they have met people that they are now married to and enjoying life with!

Good luck!

You have a lot of years before ‘lonely old man’ . Dating isn’t the same game as when you were a teenager, but that’s a good thing! You aren’t as immature & clueless & dumb-romantic as you were then. That’s a good thing too, because women old enough to not bore you silly or drive you crazy mostly like their dates / boyfriends / manfriends to be grown up.

You’ve probably heard all the ways to meet women - dating sites, ‘senior singles’ clubs &s/o. You have to actually go do some of those things, . You also have to be plain old ordinary ‘friendly’ before you ask anybody out on a date.

When you arrive at asking a woman you’ve met to go out with you, it’ better to start casual - don’t overdo it. A big production for a first date looks like either desperation or showing off, so don’t do that. Gold-diggers respond well to that sort of dating, but it’s not because they like you.

This may sound strange, but I’m a woman. I talk to women. Here are some RULES:

Be clean. Wear decent clothing. Clean you car interior if you’re driving the two of you somewhere. Unless you meet each other at a political event, leave your politics at home for a first date. Be honest. Be polite. Say thank you when it’s called for.

Ryan, my online dating experience was SUPER and I met someone I have been searching my whole life!!!! I am not sure if it’s pure luck or just my way of searching. I want to think BOTH. 50 - 50.
I married my wife on a online dating site from Asia (Philippines)
I DO have to tell you..it’s like a job interview searching for a employee.
I interviewed (chatted) a whole bunch of women from every age, anywhere from 20 - 50 years. The 20 aged girls was more for fun, because I was 57 when I started and I don’t see myself with a 20 year young wife. It would have been NICE but realistic wise, the odds are not in my favor.
It really took long hours of chatting and more chatting, and trying to figure out IF that person was really who she was and if that person is my soulmate or not.
All I can say it’s worth it….IF you have patience and analyze the person you’re chatting with.

My 5 cents, good luck

Online “dating” is 90% self-created fantasy, since 90% of actual interaction/exchange/understanding is NON-verbal … it is only exchanged when actually together in person. This happens on a subconscious level, and online stuff won’t fulfill this need.

And if you build up this fantasy about how person is, and how you feel about them, the relationship almost always blows up in your face once you start spending actual time with them in-person for a while. Because no flawed human being can live up to the perfect fantasy we have invested in them.

HOPEFULLY most 40-years-olds have matured enough to know that online stuff is NOT real interaction. But those who are emotionally immature still, or damaged, or who are afraid to go out and create a rewarding REAL life for themselves … build a make-believe online “life” for themselves. It can become outright delusion if they buy into it fully,.

Online interactions do NOT meet the human need for actual interaction and the mental health this promotes within us .. which is why the more we rely on social media for our “interactions”, the more-likely we will suffer from clinical depression.

Yes, I've done it.

I met my second wife online, and she was as perfect a match as a guy could hope for. I've also met some wonderful women online — some I've had long friendships with.

I think that the secret, if there is one, is to be as honest as possible about yourself. You want the person who answers your profile to like you, not some other person you wrote about who isn't you.

And, be real. Know that you are meeting a person with wants and needs and likes and dislikes just as important as yours. Go into a conversation or date with the attitude that it will be fun and interesting no matter how it ends. Be kind, and be gracious.

Have fun —live life!

Very good question! I'm 67, and my spouse died 2 and half year ago after 33 years marriage. I had lived in deep depression for a year, but somehow (helped by psichologists, psichiatrists) now I feel better, got my pills. I know very well my personal, intim problems, I have diabetes, high blood pressure, and I'm a little bit fat, but I have no problems with the on-line datings. I don't want much younger ones, but I can tolerate if a lady is a little bit older than me. I don't pay for love. I'm honest and I try to be very nice, and clever, and I have them laughed, I prefer those ladies who are educated, moreover those ones who have their job, calling, passionate hobby (except solitaires). I like to laugh, so my "girlfriends" don't feel bothered by me usually. We know our age, but nothing better than to have an interesting talk, a usefull debate, to talk about great questions (politics, God, people, moral, bad government, next elections) to go to an exhibition, theatre, to listen to music together, and so on. Given our Past mutual, we know the same old jokes, our language (the style, the slang) is mutual, we can remember the most interesting events from the last decades, we compare our fate, our parents, their education habits, we advise each other what to watch on You Tube. Honey, do you remeber when.... Would you mind watching on You Tube... How interesting lecture was held on TED... Have you red this book?.... And let me confess, meanwhile our libido have been already not so strong, (but there are elderly ladies with stronger libido, then those horribile teenagers have, as far as I can remember), we know that the love is very important. Be honest, be nice, the ladies are forever ladies, and they love to be praised, to be loved, and they love the men of good taste, they don't want to quarell. They would like to feel that they are in safety by a man. (Usually a not too succesfull connection ends within two or three months.) Of course in this age nobody wants to give her or his indepency up, it is not necessary to move in a mutual flat, forbidden to ask for that, no need to meet every day, nobody wants to become a nurse, a doctor, a psichologist, a social worker in an intim connection, and as regards money the personal secrets must be kept (income, bank accuunt, debts), the necessary delicacy and the honesty are the most important questions. The best situation, when a lady and a man are on the same living standard, they have the same or similar taste, and they are happy to communicate each other, they have their nice evenings, and no need to watch those nasty, boring tv programs, soap operas, and last but not least a great adventage for a man, if he can cook well. What a great feeling, when I cook something new, and my she-friend seat there, and I tell her how to create a good dish, which is new for her. (No need to infrom her, that I have learned it the day before yesterday from a book.) Be optimistic, and you will find your lady when the previous one leaves.
And a few very important warning! Every lady has her close friends, usually ladies from the same age, same culture, same social status, don't want to know them, don't want to organise evenings, parties for them, but try to know what do they think on you, becouse your lady tell everything to them from you. Than valuate her answer! It is a good mirror! (The same regards to her family. By the way the more grandchildren they have the worst.) Finally: love her, and love her cat or dog! But don't wait that she will love your cat or dog, croco or elephant. No, you have no right, I'm far from perfect. For example here is my poor English.

There are a number of sites that specialize in older people. I joined 1 or 2 when I was new to the online scene and met a couple guys there. I call them “old lady sites,” because the guys on there were too conservative (and generally too old) for me. On one hand they wanted to go on dates to get better acquainted before having sex; on the other, they wanted to know if I could “host” (have sex at my place). For the coup de grace, the sites wanted too much money.

I finally put most of my “dating” effort into SilverDaddies ($50 per year, and a gathering place for older men and the young men who admire them), and CraigsList personals, which at the time were a cauldron of all sorts of sexuality (now defunct). I’ve since added Growlr and Grindr (which I jointly call Gr***r). Growlr is good for sending “Shouts,” or Eblasts, which are an inexpensive way to reach out to like-minded guys in your area. There are lots of younger guys out there willing to fuck old men.

The biggest risks in using Gr***r (much less so with SilverDaddies, whose byword seems to be “quality over quantity”) are guys who make appointments and don’t show up, or guys who cruise by and decide you don’t even rate a hello, a major buzz kill if you drive to a remote site. I’ve had 2 occasions, out of hundreds over the last 3 years, of guys stealing petty cash — $100 or less (one of them fucked me 3 times in novel positions, so I suppose I got my money’s worth). One guy took $150 to buy Xstasy and coke and never came back — tuition money for me in the school of the street! (Never advertise that you’re interested in drugs, even 420 and poppers, as you tend to attract a bad element.)

I don’t believe in long back-and-forths by Email, but you need some conversation to get a bead on your correspondents. If ANYTHING strikes you as off, or weird, or inconsistent, either terminate the conversation or go for a meeting at Dunkin’ Donuts.

Yeah….. try actually messaging some guys and continue a conversation via text. Put naturally beautiful pictures of yourself up. Not ones look like you put make-up on with a paint sprayer. Probably avoid pics with other men for the most part. No cars. Heard guys do this. Sad…. Be honest and short. I did one of those stupid apps once, any girl put anything like “I enjoy the finer things in life” on her page I immediately moved on…. Red flag. Pics with family are really good. Hiking. Surfing. Volleyball whatever. Shows you’re active. Don’t fill out your page with things you don’t like. Can seem really negative even if it’s not meant to. Don’t put up fake pictures either…. Hopefully that’s obvious. Honesty, positivity, family and pets. Outdoors and interests/hobbies. Can’t tell ya how many girls put a pic of them tandem skydiving and hiking the narrows. And they all listen to some guy named Rufus. Oh and the picture in front of the same damned Ferris wheel. Basic ass profiles. Zero originality. Don’t be basic. Be original. Natural. Smile. That’s what I’d look for anyway. Oh and don’t write in that you have TSA precheck…. Not relevant at all….. once again. Basic. They’re like carbon copies. Be sweet and kind. Don’t portray that you’re unobtainable and stuck up or I assure you… The good guys will pass right by you. Guaranteed.

After my divorce I used online dating as a way to get introductions to other singles. Frankly the old stand by advice for meeting people, take a class, go to church, ask a friend etc, is inadequate for modern life.

So, what did I get out of online dating? I met tons of people and had a real life date as often as I wanted one. For those of you who think that must mean I was a hot 20 something co-ed willing to have casual sex, you would be wrong. I was 40 something mom and not interested in casual sex. I just wanted to meet people.

Anyway, for about a year I had dates for dinner, plays, miniture golf, dancing, concerts, motorcycle rides and coffee. I also met my husband online. We have been together 10 years now. He is the love of my life.