I met a girl online. She lived in the city next to mine. After few chats and emails, we decided to meet. First day I meet her and I am falling for her. Confessed that I am liking her (which sounds really ridiculous for a first meet, not even a date). She says I should not. She says maybe I am liking her but we have different cultures and families won't agree. So she knowingly refrains herself from not getting relationship with other cultures. (Ok, let's not start a rant about cultures. It is what it is, I understand, no offence taken. You should not too dwell on this piece of info. Pls, continue reading).

I don't give up. Tell myself, maybe one day I can make her change her mind. Call her the next morning and said, I am fine but let's not stop meeting. I don't have any friends. You don't have friends who you go out with. Let last night be a tale of the past and move ahead with a fresh start. She is happy. I am happy. At this point, I am not trying to impress her or anything. I too start taking her as a friend. But, heart is a bitch. It keeps repeating things in your mind. I let myself drift off with heart but I never force my feelings on her. She studied in a college. I was studying too. Every evening I would meet her, go around eating and window shopping, and then drop her off to a safe place near her house. While our study places were near and in the center of the city, our houses were on the opposite end of the city. I would still, every evening drive for an hour and half to drop her and then drive back to my home, 2 and a half hours. EVERY DAY !

Time passes. One day on the phone she tells me about someone in her culture whom she likes a lot. I keep the phone down, turned off the lights and cried into the dark, all night. The guy lives in a different country and she met him some time back. So, we are still able to meet regularly and go out with our routine. One day, I get to know that the guy met an accident and is seriously injured. While, I considered him my nemesis but I would never want something that terrible to happen. I hoped he would be fine and get on with this girl. She liked him, she wanted to live happily with him and I think that was the thing that mattered most to me - She being happy. I am all set to hand over this girl to that guy when tragedy strikes and that guy passes away. She is broken. She stops calling me. Days turned into weeks. I am waiting desperately for her call. I call her and then cut the phone. I do it several times a day. Maybe she will call me. She doesn't. I dunno what to do. I would just want to talk for once and see how is she doing. Well Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I tell myself to just go away. I am all set to go but then one day I get a call. And, then she tells me about a guy in her college who was with her supporting emotionally and taking care of her when she was in college. I am not sure what to say. What was I doing earlier? wasn't I taking care too? Anyway, so I ask about details. I notice that guy is from a different culture. I question, why her principles changed and she said she had no control. She was emotionally down and he helped. I was thinking...well I was there too for you. You never let me talk. Not even a call the whole time. I was starting to feel like a fool but the bitch, yes the heart, kept telling me that I can't lose to this guy. If the battle is between him and me, I would make sure I am in it with all my weaponry. I tell her it's fine, if she is happy but I tell her clearly that I am in too now. I love her and no matter what she wants, thinks, says...I am loving her. She can go ahead with this guy, but now she knows that I love her.

I am pretty sure this guy is just another guy in the crowd. He just had the advantage of being with her in the college. Well, won't be forever. And, the day came. College was over. The guy went back to his city. I am now thinking, let's see who keeps up with this situation now. Events happen, and finally in the end the guy treats her badly. She travels long distance to meet him and he starts to question her what is so special about him that she is madly in love, why she has to travel so long distance to meet him. I am thinking either this guy is too practical or just nuts. A beautiful pretty girl is madly in love with you and you are scolding her for that. She tell him that it's over. Well, I don't know what to do. She tells me she feels alone and I am quick to jump into supporting her. Took her out, we eat, we shop. I am stupid but this whole time I was in love with her but I never thought I should be an opportunist and try to leverage on her emotional imbalance. I give her all the support she needs. I get a job near her home. She goes back to college. Now think about this: her college is in the center of the city; my office is near her home which means every morning I am cross the whole city to reach office; after office I go and pick her up; go around and drop her; drive back to my home. You know how much motivation and strength you need to do that everyday? Only if you have been in love.

I tell her clearly that since everyone is out of my way, I want her to think about me. She thinks about me. She likes me. She even told she would want to marry me. But, not against her family's wishes. Well, her parents find a nice guy for her. I am told about it. What can I do? I was a sore loser in love. I have been there done that. What the hell makes a difference if there is a new guy in the picture now? I don't care. I love her, that what matters to me. I don't want to retire and say "Shit I could have tried more". I keep meeting her, listen to her talking about that guy, telling her that I still love her no matter whom she is getting married too. Well, how long can you evade the truth? The day comes. She is all set to marry this guy. She is happy about it. I am invited to the wedding. I go there, being a good person that I have always been, supporting her all the time. It won't seem good backing out now that I know that this is the last straw. I get a good wedding gift, wish her and her husband all the best.

I drive back home at night, crying all the way, crying out loud in my car. But that was the last time I would cry for her. I don't regret anything. I am proud what I did. Even though I know I was stupidly in love with a girl who didn't reciprocated in the way I wanted but still I wanted to give everything I had. Like they say, love makes you do things that you would never do normally.

Note: Later in my life I would do a more crazy thing for another girl but this time I married her. BOOYAH !!!