The decision to stay or leave your relationship is not an event but a process. This process is going to take a lot of work. For significant others, there is no clear indicator to let you know when enough is enough. Addicts/Alcoholics will make promises about quitting, minimize the impact and extent of their use, cut back for short period's of times, and show you the person that you knew before the addiction took over, believing change could happen.

Sorting through all this by yourself will be challenging. Significant others may be encouraging you to make a decision to leave him/her. This advise may be well meaning but not something you may be ready to do. As a result, you may be reluctant to share information or discuss the issue with them for fear that you may have to defend your spouse or yourself for leaving. This may isolate you from your support system.

Having children at this point would not be a good decision. Spouses often believe that having children will change the addict. It doesn't. All it does is make the decision to leave more difficult because you have added other people into this process. Furthermore, you are bringing them into an unhealthy environment.

I would start with getting your self some help. Seek out a professional who works with addictions. Finding a support group, such as Al Anon or a Co Dependency group would also be helpful. Reading books about addiction could also help. Additional resources such as: Smart Recovery, Alcoholics Anonymous, as well as community groups may be helpful. The important point to keep in mind is that this is a big decision and you will not have a clear line to look at to tell you enough is enough. If you do decide to leave, how you go about making this decision is just as important as the results of the decision.