In my thirties, I made four big mistakes. Mistake #1: I took getting pregnant for granted. About the time I was ready to start trying, a great career opportunity came up. And you can't just get pregnant right after taking a new job, right? At least that's what I thought. By the time I started focusing on getting pregnant, I couldn't. I was slow investigating the means of assistance. Finally, after trying a variety of things, I got pregnant, then miscarried (no one tells you how hard that is) and a year later I got pregnant again and then I made Mistake #2 which I may never forgive myself for.

Mistake #2: I thought that because I was in good shape, I could run through my pregnancy. At 23 weeks, my water broke while I was running. (23 weeks is a tipping point in viability and once your water breaks, you have to deliver.)

Mistake #3: I didn't fight for my baby. My husband and I didn't know what to do and I'm not sure we got good advice. We were told the baby would not be viable. They gave me morphine during delivery. I don't remember much of what happened after that. I don't know exactly what happened to the baby. It was just taken away. I felt guilty and sad and ashamed and still do.

Mistake #4: I turned away from my husband instead of toward him. I was racked with pain and guilt and didn't know how to cope with it. So, I separated myself from him (a man I loved and still do) and we divorced.

And then I turned 40. And things got better. I'd like to say I made fewer mistakes but I'm not sure that's true. I made different ones.

In my forties, I remarried and had a baby (at 43) and now we have an amazing family of 3. Did I have to go through all that to get to this? Yes, no, maybe so.